wEEKLY wINNERS

A barn. With horses.

A tree.

Just-washed grapes. Yum.

Apples waiting for 1/2 bites.

Lonely. And cold.

Concentration.

Wise. And obedient.

Snow-covered.

Click here to see more wonderific pictures.

Don't my children know that this is not ok???

As a Mother you quickly learn that life doesn't go the way you planned.
You learn that you cannot get everything you want.
You cannot give what others need all of the time.

As a Mother you learn that your children do things you do not understand.
Your children do things that you do not want them to do.
Your children do things that annoy the heck out of you.

I can {barely} deal with floppy socks.
I can handle the messy bedroom.
I can even handle them putting ranch dressing on everything they eat.
I can get them to pick up the garbage they throw on the floor.
And I can even be seen in public with them after they style their own hair.

But this.
This I cannot handle.
If youre going to eat the apple, then eat it! Don't put it back with teeth marks!!!!


Hosted by Cecily and Amy

Thank You Very Much

Time for some Thank Yous also known as Momma's cheap therapy. This weekly post is my way of avoiding very large therapy bills and keeps me from eating entire huge bags of Mini Eggs.

And drinking many, many jugs of alcohol.

Here goes.

*To my skin. Thank you so much for breaking out and producing zits at the age of almost 35. I especially love having them on my chin and being told by my children that I have something on my face.

*To the Canadian hockey team. Thank you for allowing me to curse for the entire 3 hours while you allowed the American team to win. I needed that.



*To my children. Thank you for informing me that my tummy is "funny looking". Since all three of you are the reason my tummy is "funny looking", it is ok. Really.

*To the TV show Lost. Are you trying to completely confuse your viewers so they stop watching? Yes. Thanks. It is working.


*To my 22 month old daughter. Thank you for emptying every cupboard in our house. Every day. Mommy doesn't have anything else to do except clean up the messes all day. Really.

*And to my fat ass. After seeing you in a few recent pictures I want to thank you for reminding me why I want to lose weight.

Ok.....I feel better.

Until next week.

I am here to help.

Blogging isn't only for writing about yourself. Not all bloggers need attention and validation after every post they write.

Although it is nice.

Sometimes they are here to help. Need recipes? Need to learn how to sew? Need to learn how to dress? Where to shop? Photography lessons? Information on celebrities?

There are blogs to help you out with pretty much anything.

And today I am one of them.

I will not talk about Studley the dog or post pictures of my children because they are cute. I will not talk about my diet and new healthy living lifestyle. I will not even discuss how stressed out my husband is because he has a million and two things going on right now.

Maybe tomorrow.

For now, I am here to make your life a little bit easier.

Do you play cards with your children? Do your children whine and complain because they cannot fan the cards and hold them in their hands.

Mine do.
All of the time.
And then they throw them on the floor and say "This game is stupid!"......but that is another post for another time.

Go into your kitchen cupboards and find your aluminum foil/plastic wrap box.

Turn it upside down.

Inform your angry child that he can put his cards in the slot.
*make sure child knows that there are sharp edges*


Play your game.


Lose to your 6 year old child.



And all is well.



You're welcome.



*I wish I could take credit for this brilliant idea but it was my mother-in-law who brought out the foil box. Genius. I know.*

Tidbits

Happy Tuesday! It's a wonderful day isn't it? Just because it is cold, dreary and snowy doesn't mean anything. We are alive and breathing. Lets celebrate today because we are breathing and because it is random thought day.

I like Random Tuesday.

*Lets discuss the Olympics shall we?
I want a job at the Olympics. I want them to hire me and pay me big bucks to take pictures at this event. Am I the only person who cannot take her eyes off of the men's *ahem* muscles??? Holy crap!

*In my next life I want to be a snowboarder. Or a skater. Or a skier.

Or...well...just athletic.

Just sayin'.

*I have not been blessed with many talents. Sure, I am double-jointed and great at multi-tasking, but I am not athletic. I cannot play a musical instrument. I cant sing. Watching all of these young {muscular} athletes makes me think that I need to do more with my life. They make me feel like I am nothing. *sniff*

I want to win a medal.

Anything.

Is there a competition for Mothers who can yell the loudest?

I would win that one.

*So I went out on the weekend with some fantabulous folks. We ate. We drank. {water for me} We danced. We took pictures. Someone got a hold of my camera and took pictures of Momma on the dance floor groovin'. When I viewed these pictures the next day I noticed that while I was groovin, my shirt was up and my pants were down.....which means my gut was hanging out. After I cleaned up the vomit and cried, I composed myself enough to send everyone a message informing them that if they dare posted any such pictures on Facebook or anywhere else, I would be forced to post unflattering pictures of them and egg their houses.

Advice from Momma "Threatening your loved ones works"

*I am fat.

*Why didn't I wear a different shirt?

*My new weight loss goal is 50 pounds.

*I am thinking of starving myself

*Speaking of being fat, I can no longer say I have given up chocolate. I ate chocolate chips.

Momma is a chocoholic.

Momma cannot give it up.

Damn you good food!!!!!

*Princess has had bronchitis for the last week. Many times I thought about moving. Running away. I am knee deep in green snot and sickie germs that I just want to fly somewhere and not deal with any of it.

I swear I deserve the Mother of the Year Award.

Maybe there is a medal for that.

Me, myself and Princess.

Hosted by Krystyn

So what if I am the only person in my family who knows how to turn the camera on.
So what if I hate pictures of me.
So what if I hate pictures of me because I pick out every frickin flaw about myself...
and then wanna cry....
and drink......
and hide under the covers.
So what if I have dark circles under my eyes.
So dark that, without makeup, it looks like I was in a fight.
So what if I edited my picture to hide it.....a bit.

It was all worth it to have a picture of my baby girl.
My baby girl with me.

It is a rare event but so worth it.

Princess, phones and makeup.

I have a confession.
I could just eat this girl up.
No sugar needed.

Everything she does amazes me. Everything she does makes me smile.

Especially when she pretends every object she finds is a telephone and has "real" conversations with her imaginary friends.

Or when she finds objects and pretends they are her makeup. There is nothing cuter than a toddler applying lipstick with a pen lid.

And then putting some on the dog.



That's all.

Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

Thank You Very Much

I am a polite person. I have been known to say thank you to people for doing nothing at all. I have also been known to say thank you sarcastically to people who tick me off. I am famous for saying thank you more than once..or twice...or three times in a sentence, and, I believe that writing"Thank You Notes" should be taught to all school-aged children.

So what better way to use my "Thankful Skills" than participating in a fun meme that thanks everyone all in one neat and tidy blog post. Even if it is a tad sarcastic.

Genius. I tell ya.

Here goes.

*To my children, who go to school and actually interact with many other human creatures with sickie germs, I thank you for bringing home those germs and passing them on to your little sister who now has bronchitis.

*To the very large cashier at my favourite store who told me she was too fat and lazy to take my packed bags off the little "hook thing", I thank you. Thank you for making me laugh and thank you for helping me to remember why this healthy lifestyle I am living is a good thing. A very good thing.

*To my happy pills. Thank you for making me...well...happy.

*To the older gentleman at the doctor's office who called Princess a "he" even though she was wearing purple and pink, I thank you. Thank you for reminding me that I need to put girly bows in her hair every, single day.

*To the addicts on the show Intervention. Thank you for showing me that my life isn't that bad after all.

*And last but not least, thank you to the game Lexulous on Facebook that keeps me up way too late at night. Sleep? Who needs it!!!!

Click on the button above to view more fabulous Thank Yous.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

S

Call me crazy, but I cant stop taking pictures of this stunning,
striking,

splendid,
senior, snout.
Can you blame me????
Didn't think so.

Random Randomness

So, it is Tuesday again. We had a long weekend here in the north country.

*Family Day. Sounds nice huh? A day dedicated to families spending time together. A day in the middle of the coldest month of the year when it is too flippin cold to go outdoors and enjoy your family. But I am not picky. We can do indoor stuff.....just like we have been for the last 4 months. Hmph.

*Have I mentioned that I am living a new healthier lifestyle?

Have I mentioned it sucks? Ok, not really. But what does suck is when I open the cupboard to find a bag of cookies staring me in the eye and then open the baking cupboard to find a huge bag of chocolate chips. Right there. Waiting for me.

"Open me"
"Eat me"

I am positive I heard them.

I cursed.
At food.

Then I grabbed some sugar free gum and pouted on the couch.

*Hubby and I saw "The Wolfman" on Valentine's Day. After being married for almost 10 years, going to see a scary movie is romantic. Is it weird that while I was watching the big, scary wolf tear humans apart, I was devising a plan on how to take him on and kick his ass?

I am sure I could beat him up.

*Dear Gossip Magazines. I am a loyal addicted customer and look forward to reading your issues every week, but I am considering a boycott if you continue to do cover stories on these two. Love Momma


*I want a clothesline.

Happy Tuesday y'all!!!!!