It starts with an D and ends with isappoint.

Throughout my many years of life, I have managed to disappoint myself more than any human being should in an entire lifetime.
Yay me!
Too bad you cant win money for competitions like this because I would totally kick yo ass.

There was that time I lost a special emerald ring in the grass.
Or that time I blew a giant bubblegum bubble just as the Principal walked up to me.
Or that time I fell for the wrong guy...
...over and over again.
Then there was my entire high school career when I felt the need to get everyone to like me and lost sight of who I was.
The year or two that I thought it was cool to safety pin my pants.
And listen to Milli Vanilli

God, I loved this song!

There was the time I didn't study for an exam and got a bad mark....
...more than once.
That time when I sent husband's very expensive leather snowmobile suit to be picked up by the thrift store people.  It was never seen again.
That was bad.
The time when I was 9 months pregnant and fell down a friend's icy outdoor stairway.
Or that time when I was 9 months pregnant when I stepped on Studley's toy and fell down our indoor stairway.
I know.  I am the coolest.

Now, as a parent, I find the disappointment has turned into guilt and I find myself questioning every single move I make because I am terrified that I am screwing up my children's lives.
I am afraid I am going to disappoint my kids.Hence the need for happy pills and a therapist.
(I have never used the word "Hence" in my life so just go with it)
Somehow the thought of blowing a bubblegum bubble seems so small and simple.
And it kinda sounds like fun.
Alot more fun than screwing up my kids lives.
My therapist is young.  I am sure she will still be in business when my kids are older.

MamaKat has more workshop peeps here.

One Day the Kids Wont Embarrass Us. Just Not Yesterday.

Sometimes I don't understand myself.
I bitch and moan about things that tick me off, but I continue to put myself back in the same environment.
Last year I complained about the zoo. Yesterday we went back to the same zoo.
Was I expecting it to be different?  No.
Was I expecting myself to react differently?  No.
Was I hoping to make memories as a family and see my children happy and un-bored for a few hours?  Yes.

Big mistake.
The day was basically the same shit but in a different pile than the last time we went.

Cost for 4 people to park and walk through the front gates-$82 (Princess was free)
So basically I was pissed off before we even saw one polar bear or rhino.
Cost for 4 people to eat burgers and fries-$39 (Princess ate some of our fries)
Cost for putting up with a 3.5 year old diva for the day-huge headache and the vow to never take our children in public again.


Memories were made.
And I plan to share them at our daughter's wedding. I might even throw a tantrum or 27 in the middle of the ceremony so she knows how we felt yesterday.
Just because I am nice like that.

Go see DumbMom for more Wordful Wednesday stuff.  I bet her boys behave at the zoo.

Duke the Horse

Duke the Horse was limping the other day.
The first thought that went through oldest child's mind was "Oh no, is he going to die of some rare, unknown leg disease?  He cant die.  I love him.  Please dont let him die.  Do whatever it takes to make sure he doesnt die!!!!!!!!!"

The first thing that went through my mind was "Holy f-in crap, this is going to be expensive to fix"
Luckily it wasnt anything serious and Duke the Horse seems to be improving.

But I think my husband needs to start selling his body for any future vet bills

75-95

Once upon a time...actually 95 years ago, a boy was born in a far away country.
His family moved to Canada.
He met a nice young girl.
They fell in love and were married 75 years ago.


They had two children.
Their children each had two children.  One of those children being my hubby!And then those children had children.

The family came together to celebrate their 75th anniversary and the "boy's" 95th birthday recently.
Isn't he handsome?

This boy grew up to be a wonderful husband, father, grandfather and great grandfather.

The relationship he shares with our children is one that can never be duplicated.

They are his life.

He is a huge part of theirs.

Our family is blessed.

Happy 95th birthday Grandpa!

Happy 75th anniversary Grandma and Grandpa!

Go see Cecily's fantabulous back to school tradition and other photostory stuff here.

And tell me if you know anyone ever married for 75 years!

Bacon

I love {turkey} bacon.
So should you.
I love it even more because there are so many ways to include it in your life.

Instead of butter, mayo or mustard, try putting some Baconnaise on your sandwich.  Crap, just get a spoon and eat it by the mouthful.


While filling your face with Baconnaise, wash it down with some bacon flavoured vodka.


And when you're done, clean your teeth with this stuff. I am sure it doesn't taste gross at all.


I am buying my bacon loving husband some of this for Christmas.  So should you.


And I am going to put a bacon dress on my list this year.



Do you think they will eventually make it for "Real Women"?


This is perfect for the kitchen when you're expecting guests and you want them to think you prepared your children a real breakfast instead of cold Pop Tarts


Beer and chocolate covered bacon=Heaven in my mouth


WANT!


I bought myself two pairs of jeans yesterday but couldn't find a belt I liked.
Until now!!!!


You're hungry now right?
You're welcome.
I accept bacon as a tip.


All pictures courtesy of Google and Etsy.
Go buy some!

I bet MamaKat loves bacon too

A Sad Goodbye

Today is a sad, sad day in our house.
After nine years
three children
thousands of days.
After being jumped on
peed on
pooped on
climbed on.
After being a huge part of our family
never letting us down
comforting my children.

We have said goodbye to the crib.


I have put this moment off for a long time because I just wasn't ready to say goodbye to our baby days.
I mean, this is so final.
Even more so than saying goodbye to the high chair
diapers
and the many, many outfits and toys.


Maybe we can have one more baby.
Just because I have crib separation issues.

More Wordful Wednesday stuff here

Random

Bonjour mon amis!
More random stuff because that's what I love to talk about.

*The kids are at their Grandmas for a sleepover.  This is the first time in 3+ years that I have been home for a night without children.  Can I get an Amen?

*We ate at Denny's tonight.  I think I gained 6 pounds.

*I am in love with The Bachelor Pad.
 Is it just me or does Kasey sound like Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs???????

*We have grapes!!!


*Potty training is going well.  I basically camp out in the washroom now so I can be on duty every five minutes

*Why does plucking your eyebrows make you tear up?

* Why am I getting random chin hairs?
   Aging sucks balls

*I get this look approximately 6400 times every single day

Feel sorry for me?

*I am sorry Princess.  You have inherited the dark under eye circles from your Momma

*The kids favourite song of the moment


That's all I got folks.

I Heart Pets!

Have I told you how much I heart "I Heart Faces"?
Not just because it gives me the opportunity to view amazing photographs by amazing photographers but also because I can view amazing photographs by wannabe photographers like myself.
I consider myself a faux-tographer. I love to take pictures of anything. I love to think outside the box. I just don't understand alot of the stuff that goes along with using a fancy schmancy camera.
But I am getting there.
Slowly.

Have I told you how much I heart the Pets theme week?
Not because I love animals, but because they are fantabulous photo subjects.
Someone pay me lots of money to take pictures of cute animals please and thank you.

Duke the Horse is a great subject. When the camera comes out, he comes over and poses like a very large supermodel.Like really.Look at his mane.And those eyes.I might have said "Work it Dukers" more than once while snapping away.Don't judge.
Gosh darn, I heart him.




Go see more Pets entries here and see why I heart "I Heart Faces" so much.

Then explain aperture and ISO in dummy terms to an idiot like me.

Kthanksbye.

My therapist tells me to appreciate the smallest of successes. I am trying really hard.

Guys, I'm so sad.

Our garden this year is not doing so well.
It has been so hot and dry that we haven't had much luck producing alot of the vegetables I love so much.
Broccoli was a huge disaster.  I finally ended up pulling it all and throwing it into the compost pile.
Our beans.  We get like 4-5 a day.
Our cucumbers are long, skinny and wrinkly like old dried up...ummm.....you know.

Our tomatoes are OK but we didn't stake them early enough so they flopped over.
They are very small.
Just not how I like my tomatoes.
Although I have been making bruschetta every single day for lunch and it has been quite yummy, so I shouldn't really complain.
Size isn't everything I guess.
The carrots are small and odd shapes.
But the bunny likes them so I guess that's a good thing.
The onions are small but that's OK because I don't like them anyways.
Gardening successes are few.
I am trying to celebrate the small positives because my therapist says I should.

Green peppers.  We have so many, I have been giving them to random strangers who walk by our house.  I hate green peppers.
Zucchini.  They are huge and long.  Perfect.  Except I don't like zucchini.
Beets.  I even made beet relish.  I hate beets.
Green onions.  Anyone want some?  I hate the buggers.
Acorn squash.  I have eaten so much of it that when I think of eating more, it makes me ill to my stomach.
And sunflowers.  WTF do I do with sunflowers other than take a few pictures and put them in a vase?

Do you have a garden?
Has it been a good year or craptastic year?
Anyone want some sunflowers?Remind me next year to plant stuff I actually eat.Thanks muchly.



Go see Kailani for more Aloha Friday questions.


Go see Cecily for more Photostory Friday stuff

Ordinary Moments

Yippee!  This is my kind of topic.  My life is full of ordinary moments that I try my hardest to capture through photographs.  If I start up my own photography business in the {near} future, I would like to call it something simple like this...just because.
Or maybe I will call it Just Because Photography.  What do you think?

Life isn't about staged photos or awkward posed pictures.
It is about the simple unstaged moments that make up our everyday life.
*sigh*

Footwear scattered everywhere.If you come to my house, please dont trip.


She would swing 24/7....if someone would push her.


Legs.The differences in my children are endless...yet they are so similar.


The "dirty face look" is the norm around here.


Duke the horse.


..and again. Just because I love him.


Middle child not looking at the camera because apparently I take too many pictures. Hmph.


Oldest child not looking at the camera because apparently I take too many pictures of him too. Hmph.
This was probably his 27th Freezie of the day. Why they are hyper, I dont know......


Go see more ordinary moments here on Thursday.
And then go capture some of yours.
It is sooooo worth it.

Poor Beth was not well as she is expecting baby #4 very soon and overdid it taking wonderful photos.  I had this post up last week but am linking up today now that Beth is feeling better. 

*Just Because Photography coming soon*

The post in which I make fun of myself....again.

I recently came across this photograph taken at my bridal shower almost exactly 11 years ago.
Lets just say I almost cried for many reasons.
Just look at it.

Notice anything?
Don't lie.
The huge glasses. Why didn't anyone tell me that they took up my entire face?
The major dark circles under my eyes. I have an excuse now, but 11 years ago before children I should have picked some better makeup....or at least worn some.
The lack of boob support. I had no idea my boobs looked so droopy when I was a young soon-to-be married child-less gal. Sigh.
My mouth takes up the entire picture.  It is just a picture of big eyes and big mouth.  Hot.Go ahead and say it.  I know you're thinking it. I look like a Muppet

The vertical blinds.  Gag. Puke.  I needed Martha Stewart to come to my house.Why didn't anyone tell me to get my act together or they wouldn't be seen in public with me?
I was a complete mess.
And Busy still married me.
Sucker.  *This post was not written as an attempt to get compliments because, quite frankly, there arent any in this picture.  But...if you told me that you were a hot mess 11 years ago too, I would feel much better.Kthanksbye. 

DumbMom was always hot.

Randomness

I have nothing for today.  My mind is blank...err...should I say full of random nothingness.
I will post random pictures that have nothing to do with this post just because.

Here goes.

I am in potty training hell.  itwillbeworthitintheenditwillbeworthitintheenditwillbeworthitintheend


I spent four hours at the mall with all three of my children today.  I deserve an award and a huge paycheck.
Things that happened during my four hours of ummm....bliss.
*Princess went to the potty 3547483 times
*Rowdy tried on 47902357 pairs of shoes
*We ate unhealthy food
*Messy and Rowdy got into a wrestling match in the shoe aisle and I told them I would "smack their buttocks and embarrass them even more than they are embarrassing me"
I have never said that before
I turned around and laughed at myself
*The boys found a small football in...um...the shoes aisle and threw it.  The employee almost caught it. 
I was embarrassed
The boys were terrified
I turned around and laughed
*All three children asked for new hermit crabs 4629 times.  I said no 4629 times
*Middle child wears a size 7 men's shoe.  Hold me.
*One child told me that he had the "best time ever"
*I needed a drink when we got home


Can someone buy me one of these please?  


Took the kids and Studley the stinky dog for a walk tonight.  Nothing makes my heart happier than seeing my little girl walking her baby doll in her little stroller.
Studley crapped on the road 4 times.  Yes, I picked it up- and tied the bag around his collar.


I rode Duke the horse last night without a saddle.  I said a prayer and held on to his mane for dear life. 


I am reading this book.  Love it.

Recent dinner time conversation
"Mom, have you always called girls privates a vajayjay?"
"Nope, I didn't know that word until a few years ago"
"What about penis'?  Have you always called it a wiener?
"Nope, we used to call it a winky woodle"
"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  You're weird Mom"
"Ya ya. Anyone want more veggies?"


Have a great night friends.