January 17, 2009

Advice for my 6 year old

* Using an entire tube of my expensive hair cream to spike and style your boy cut is not ok.......especially if you do it every hour.

* Underwear is for actually wearing believe it or not. It is not a decoration to be scattered around your bedroom and is not to be used to wipe pee off of the toilet seat. You are supposed to wear it. Every day. Going commando at such a young age is gross. At any age it is gross. It is also winter.....-30 and wearing underwear would help to keep your privates warm. Just a thought.

* Socks are to be changed every day. You are not supposed to wear the same pair of socks for 10 days straight or until they become one with your flesh. It is gross. It is stinky. Ewww.......

* Flashing your 9 month old sister is wrong. No one in the house needs to be flashed. Ever. You can be a nudist whenever you want. In the privacy of your own bedroom please and thank you.

* Calling your brother a "moron", "stupid", "idiot" and so on does not make you cool. Eventually he will be bigger than you (he already is) and we are working our hardest to teach both of you not to tolerate being bullied. If you bully him...well..........

* When people come to our house to visit, it is not expected that they bring you a gift everytime. Just because it seemed that way during the holidays, it does not mean that it will continue year round. I would love it if people brought me a gift too but I don't expect it. Chocolate is always a favourite. Or bath products. Or kitchen utensils. I like scrapbooking stuff too.

* Setting your alarm for 7am and then spending the next hour whining and crying because you want to stay in bed is not how I enjoy waking up. I would prefer it if you were happy and excited to start your day, thank you very much.

* Quick question. Why do you have to wear ear plugs at the movie theatre but have no problem screaming and yelling at the top of your lungs all night when you're at home? Doesnt that hurt your ears too? It hurts mine. Can I borrow your earplugs?

* Never share your earplugs

* It is ok to flush the toilet after you do your business. Really. A monster is not going to come out of the bowl and attack your bum. Honest.

* Burping and tooting is a natural thing that our bodies do. Sure it can be extremely funny at times but it is not funny ALL of the time. We would really appreciate some manners when you have to expell some gas. This is not a barn, but we do have one and would be happy to set up a bedroom for you out there.

I love you son. Even though you drive me crazy sometimes. xo


Alexandria said...

Omg lol. I can completely relate to this. Especially this one:

"When people come to our house to visit, it is not expected that they bring you a gift everytime."

Every single time someone comes over; Racer (4yrs old) asks if they brought him a present. I'm ready to resort to smacking him upside the head :S

~*Jobthingy*~ said...

LOL this killed me

Heather said...

So cute!!!

And we are going through the "gift bringing visitors" with drawals too. So funny!

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I love meeting new bloggy friends.

Allison said...

Nudity, bodily functions, dirty socks, picking on siblings - totally my 6 year old boy too.
Loved this post!

corin said...

Very entertaining...because he is not mine...wait mine is 13 and acts the same way. So in case you were wondering it doesnt get any better. Unless he gets a girlfriend and then it is better only when she is around. Good luck. Like your stories, thought I would not lurk anymore!

Jen said...

this was an awesome post. So basically your telling my that little boys don't get any better as they age. Huh, something to think about.

Momma said...

For all of you with little boys......my thoughts and prayers are with you..............((hugs))

Tabitha Blue said...

Hahahaha, love it!!! Sounds like you are teaching him some pretty important things... I think ALL little boys need to hear more of this. So funny!!


mnmtatgirl said...

You crack me up...and like others said.. it only gets worse. 13 year old's socks realy stink. Really. Especially when said socks are shoved under the bed until the walk themselves to the washer.

Minister Mamie L. Pack said...

Being a mom of three boys, I can relate to a lot of this. Especially, "Just because we go to the store does not mean you are going to get a toy."