April 10, 2014



My reflection shows a face full of stress....
...irritable bowel syndrome...whatever the eff that is.......
...unknown wants....
...and needs.

My reflection shows alot of zits....
....random hairs that are showing up where they shouldn't....
....and wrinkles that show up more when I wear makeup to hide my zits.

My reflection needs to change.
I'm working on it.

Be back {very} soon.

March 13, 2014

Old School Blogging

I'm lacking blog-writing motivation, so when I saw this, I jumped right on it.
For all of you newbies, blogging used to be all light and fluffy. There wasn't much talk about deep, thought provoking, therapeutic nonsense like there is now.
That is probably why I am unable to put together a post lately. Because I have nothing deep to talk about.
I have a dog that eats his own poop, a tween who hates me a lot of the time and live in weather too cold to even step outside my house.
So, unless you want me to cry on your shoulder, its best I just stay quiet.......until now.

Here goes.....

What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Dexter. Actually, it is the only thing hubby and I have watched for the last few months and I know, for sure, that we will both need a very high dosage of happy pills when we are finished.
Lets talk about how awesome that show is.

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
This morning to take out the recycling.
My boogers froze in 0.3 seconds. It is mid March and it is -20 something (Celsius).
Hold me.
I need warmth.

What is on the walls of the room you are in?
There are two sconces, a TV and a couple pictures.
Oh yeah, I cant forget the boogers. This kid likes to wipe her boogers on the walls.
One day I will think it is funny, right?

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Oh, man. The things I could do with the money. 
I would probably buy a lakefront home and a new (non-minivan) vehicle. 
 Buy a lifetime supply of animal crackers and Blistex.
I'm a simple person.
I don't need much.

Tell me something about you that most people don’t know.
I think I can finish word search puzzles faster than anyone else in the Universe. Its a special, unique talent of mine, and one day, maybe there will be a contest. It would be awesome if the prize was a few million dollars so I could buy the stuff above.

Who made the last incoming call on your phone? My Mama

If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?
I would have our basement finished.
Then I would hire a landscaper to design beautiful gardens around the property.
Then I would have a pool installed.
And have someone  finish the window coverings throughout the house.
Another reason I need $$$$$$$$

What was the last thing you bought?
Groceries. Because my children are bottomless pits.................

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
I vomited a bit in my mouth just thinking about both of them. I cant even handle the merry go round and swing rides at theme parks.
(Thanks Google Images)

If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?
This is a tough one. I would like to talk to my boyfriend, John Mayer and ask him why he is such a douchebag to all of those pretty gals. I would like to talk to the Dexter guy and convince him to bring the show back to TV. I would also like to talk to the Breaking Bad dude to tell him I miss him.
I'm such a dork.

Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
 Gap. It would be even better if I was a size or two smaller..........

Is the glass half empty or half full?
Sadly, I admit I am a glass half empty kinda gal. This needs to change. Or I need to up my happy pills.

What’s the farthest-away place you’ve been?
Geesh....I'm awful at geography. I am in Ontario, Canada.
I have been to Jamaica, Cuba, Las Vegas, British Columbia. Which place is the farthest?
"Farthest" is a weird word, isn't it? Say it a few times..........

What’s under your bed?
Dust and dog hair.
Don't judge.

What is your favorite time of the day?
The moment the kids get on the school bus and I get to eat my breakfast in peace.

What Inspires You?
This is a deep question which means I am unable to answer it at this time. Come back to me when I am inspired to write about it.


Peace out.
Word to your Motha.

March 04, 2014

This is me trying to enjoy the little things in the midst of craptastic weather.

I am trying my hardest to enjoy small things as March enters with a big, fat, snowy roar.
I gave myself a little pep talk......ummmm....OK....I told myself to snap the F$%^ out of my funk and open my eyes up to all that is wonderful and sparkly and unicorn-ish and rainbow-y.
Then I ate a few {hundred} animal crackers because I am so addicted to them.

So, lets enjoy the small things, shall we?
Like animal crackers.
They are small and cute and oh so effing yummy.

I also enjoy watching Jersey the dog run outside in the snow.
It's snowy and -20 something, but he is completely happy running and jumping and burying his face in the powdery stuff I hate so much.
Less carbs make me feel better.
I think I have finally figured out that carbs and my body do not get along.
Bread makes me feel crappy.
Breadless sandwiches are deelish.
Less dairy.
Less carbs.
No soda.
No processed crap.
Give me a pat on the back for making this huge lifestyle change.
Hes kinda small....and pretty.
And he thanks his mom in his Oscar acceptance speech.
Thumbs up for pretty boys who love their Mama.
One of my perfect children is trying out for the school basketball team.
The same child who screamed at day camp, skating lessons, swimming lessons, babysitting, first day of school.
The same child who has anxiety months before any event or special occasion.
If he makes the team, I will certainly do the ugly cry.
And I will probably hug the coach and love him forever for giving my kid the self esteem he needs to love himself as much as I do.
Today I went to the dentist.
I had no cavities.
No tumours on my sinuses or jaw.
No bone wear.
No gum disease.
And I didn't gag while getting xrays.
Yay, me!
Spring is soon.
Amen, hallelujah.

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