June 16, 2010

Popular Girls

If I had the choice and could turn back time to 1990 when I was smack dab in the middle of my teen aged years, I wouldn't.
You could not pay me enough money to endure the torture that is teenager-hood.

It sucked.
Big time.

And if I discussed why it sucked so much I would probably have gifts and letters sent to congratulate me for surviving it.

But anyways.

Instead, I Googled "popular girls" and you know what came up?

A picture of a girl who sleeps with slimy American politicians
and this guy
Honest to goodness. That is the truth.

And then I saw a list....."How to be a Popular Girl"
Shall we discuss?

Make a good first impression.  In other words, you must look like a supermodel and know popular people so others actually see that you exist.

You relate to the "in crowd" and understand what they are talking about.  Because apparently they speak supermodel language and don't have any similarities to other humans.

Like, duh.

Change is Good.  So don't act like yourself, get some plastic surgery and go into debt buying a new wardrobe. 

Listen More than you Talk.  Who cares about you?  It is all about them right????  Once again, lose who you are in the process of being someone else

Be Confident.  And you will after surgery and a new wardrobe.

Start Cliques.  Oh my Gawwd, this is bringing back horrible memories.

Make sure you always smell greatUmm, yeah....even unpopular people should do this.  Just sayin'.

Get Involved.  Join clubs and sports that popular people are in so you can make a fool of yourself and get laughed at.  Yeah, sure.

Don't try too hard.  You mean surgery and new clothing, hair and some waxing isn't enough?  How about the fact that I am no longer the person I used to be?  That isn't trying too hard is it?

Get on Facebook.  This is on the list.  For reals.

Blog.  Phew.  I am one step closer to fitting in.

Now for the surgery...new wardrobe.....and sleeping with the slimy politician.

Then I will have made it.

*Disclaimer.  This post was not intended to insult the popular girls.  It was all in fun.  I don't judge.  Just like I hope you won't judge my writing.  Thanks muchly.*

Now, go check out MamaKat.  I bet she was popular.


Gigi said...

NOTHING could make me want to go back to the teenage years - absolutely Nothing! And you know what I remember about (most of) those popular girls? The were witches with a capital B. And you know that didn't change once they were out of high school.....

Jo Schaffer said...

This made me laugh! And it turned my stomach...the feminist side of me wants to grow out my leg hairs and burn my bra--just to rebel. But I need my bra. Really bad. And eventually even I get sick of prickly legs.
My teens was a icky time too.
Popular girls. Ew.

WackyMummy said...

I'm well on my way to fitting in... like, 24 years too late! Oh well. If I could do my teen years over again, with what I know now? I still wouldn't either. It was horrid. Bad. Worse than bad.
And that's all I have to say about that.

Jen said...

I would only go back to high school if I get to live it differently. Like be the person I am now, then I would be some hot sh*t. ;)

Jenners said...

Thank God blogging is on the list. Whew!

Diane said...

Who the heck IS that dude and WHO came up with this list?! I was a not so popular shy girl myself but thank God I'm on my way now what with facebook and blogger!

alicia said...

This is such a great topic. So glad I'm done with it actually. I've learned and moved on. Funny post though.

Anonymous said...

Awesome post :)

Amanda said...

"Get on Facebook" - lol loved that it was on the list....I wrote on the same prompt!

Stopping by from Mama Kats :)

Katie's Dailies said...

There were so many good prompts this week, weren't there?

So very,very,very happy to be done with high school. We have a high schooler now who, luckily, doesn't give a flip about the Popular Girls. I'm rather proud of her. : )

I liked your spin on this!

Florida Girl Meets the Midwest said...

High School is what happens when teenagers get to decide what is important in life.

Stopping by from Mama Kat's.

Suzie Que said...

I'm just a one-night-stand with a slimy politician away from being popular! Yay me! Now if I could only stop spewing milk from my nose at lunch. Fantastic post! I'm an avid lurker. Nice to meet you!

Jennifer said...

I was semi-popular, but then I didn't really care if I was popular or not. I had a bad episode my freshman year and after that I didn't really care what other people thought about me; I was going to be myself. I'm very thankful I learned that an early age.

Maureen said...

LOL great one! Although I have no idea who that guy is.

Heatherlyn said...

High School, I could have done without, but that was probably just because I was too serious and uptight. My bad. I think that most of the truly popular kids at my highschool were very nice, happy, involved people. But even with people like that there was a lot of drama. Why can't girls just be happy for their friends? Is that really so difficult?