April 29, 2011

Royal Wedding Hangover

I am experiencing a Royal Wedding Hangover.
I feel like I sat on my sofa for 24 hours eating junk food, drinking...and feeling sorry for myself because I don't look like Princess Catherine.  I feel like I sat wide eyed for the entire day thinking life sucks because I didn't get to enjoy a wedding worth many millions of dollars, walk down a tree-lined aisle, and experience the sound of billions of people gasping at the sight of my dress.

Wait a second.
That is exactly what I did.

So instead of drowning myself in the toilet, I will instead take this time to bitch.
Gossip.  That is a better word.
So what if it was the most beautiful, perfect wedding I have ever witnessed.

{insert English accent here}

Kate...Catherine...HRH...Duchess of Cambridge...Luckiest Girl in the World totally copied my wedding dress.



Whoever told Princess Eugenie that this was the perfect hat for her to wear should be fired.
Whoever made Princess Beatrice's dress/skirt/curtain should learn how to sew.
Since when did Prince Andrew turn 75?
Do you think he was embarrassed standing between his two daughters?
I totally think they dressed this way to take the attention away from the Bride and Groom.  They were pissed off that their Mom wasn't invited to the ceremony so had to make a statement.

The Bride's sister.
The Maid of Honour.
I would totally do her.

But my prediction is that she and Prince Harry will do the badonkadonk, run away together and make beautiful babies.
Have I gone too far?

Lets look at that picture again.
Hubba Hubba.

Considering the pomp and circumstance of the entire event, I would have liked to see a bigger bouquet.  Couldn't they have splurged for a few more flowers?
By the way, my bouquet was also white and green.

Dear Barbara Walters.  Please retire.

Church choirs always make me tear up.
And trumpets.

And knowing that Princess Diana wasn't there to share in this perfect day contributed to my high consumption of chocolate.

But I am sure she saw it all.
And was very proud of the man her boy has become.

{Thanks Google for the images}


Karen said...

Oh my god, Vik you are so hysterical!! "I would totally do her"...not at all too far and also far too funny...you made me laugh out loud at 10 pm on a Friday night which isn't easy to do

Heatherlyn said...

There are certainly a lot of striking similarities between your wedding dress and hers. More confirmation of your good taste. :)

I think Fergie's daughters dress that way because they've been raised by their mother. She's sort of like that, too. The hat is UNREAL.

Making It Work Mom said...

I also had a similar dress!!! Too funny. I kept thinking how Diana must have been so proud of both her boys. They were so great today.

Harry just oozes charm.

Foursons said...

Best.Post.Ever. EVER.

Elaine A. said...

Harry is pretty hunky.

And those girls looked AWFUL. You can tell by the look on their father's face. Oy.

And YOU are quite the princess yourself. :)

dana said...

I also thought that the bouquet was a little..small...
and PS. I liked your look better ;)

The Maven said...

I did not watch. I did not care at all about the royal wedding - until I saw your hilarious post. And, frankly, yours is all the recap I needed.

PS: I would totally do Pippa, too. Wowza!

Jenners said...

She totally stole your dress! Hated her veil. Loved Pippa! Harry is cute but Lord oh lord poor Williams receding hairline and impending baldness. It really drags him down. Those hats are ridiculous!!!!

Diva Latina said...

You stole my next blog entry ... and it was a good one!