March 29, 2012

Me. Coffee. Whiskey.

Aside from the fact that I talk about poop and boogers, I feel like you don't know much about me.
Is that intentional?
Of course I don't share my deep dark secrets, but I really am an open book.
If you want to know something about me,I will probably give you a very honest, descriptive answer when you ask.
But,I rarely just start gabbing about me.

I just really hate talking about myself.
And I am kinda boring.
OK, really boring.

So if you want to talk about my many pairs of jeans and the Ellen show, I am totally with you......but if you want me to discuss politics and religion, it just wont happen.
I am boring that way.


Mama Kat wanted to know all about my love affair with coffee.
The truth is I hate the stuff.
It is muddy hot, water that tastes like dirt.

*Drinks are not meant to be hot.
Only soup.
And I like even the worst flavours of soup a bazillion times better than coffee.

*Hot stuff is meant to be ingested with utensils.
It seems very silly to me that you would put your mouth up to a hot mug to swallow hot, muddy water.
It seems very silly to me to take 20 minutes to have one drink when I can down my whiskey.

*Coffee gives you raunchy breath and a horrible aftertaste. Whiskey does not.
Ew. Gross. Gag.

*Coffee gives you the poops.
I do not need any help in that department, thank you very much.

*It takes time to make a cup of java.
It takes 3 seconds to pour some whiskey.

Shall I go on?????

{Disclaimer: Say no to whiskey....and coffee}


thepsychobabble said...

I drink my coffee as a way to justify fancy flavored creamers.

OneMommy said...

Not a coffee drinker myself. You're right about the breath - hate when my husband has coffee breath. LOL. But whiskey.. that's something I remember being not so bad...

mommatojoa said...

I only drink coffee with lots of sweetener lol.

Jen said...

I don't care what you say, I will always love coffee.

And you know, coffee can be drunk cold. Actually that is how I like it.

Andrea said...

I felt the same way about coffee until I had to get up a go before 7am everymorning.

Sadie Dear said...

I have to say, in coffee's defense, that you can make it taste better by adding things to it! Whiskey always tastes raunchy, if you ask me. Nevertheless? You succeeded in making me laugh! =)

Gigi said...

As someone who is addicted....I mean loves coffee; I will say it is an acquired taste. And it's calorie-free if you drink it black.

Jenners said...

I thought the same thing about coffee … until I tried the Starbucks thing with peppermint and chocolate and whipped cream. It was more like dessert than coffee!!!