An interview with Studley

Some Studley info.

9 year old black lab.

90lbs.

Best dog ever!

Momma: Studley, would you mind if I asked you a few questions?

Studley: Yawn

M: Why do you always run away when I let you outside to go to the bathroom?

S: Because it's fun.

M: Isn't it fun living at our house?

S: Most of the time, but I enjoy peeing and pooping on the neighbours lawns and smelling the other dog's bums. Fun times.

M: But I feed you. Cuddle you. Give you treats.

S: Yeah, but you don't let me smell your bum.

M: Ok, point taken. What is your favourite thing to do?

S: Besides running away and smelling other dog's bums, I like to eat and sleep.

M: Why do you always steal food off of the table and counter?

S: Duh. Why wouldnt I? Why do you guys leave it there?

M: What was your favourite food that you ate off the counter?

S: It has happened so many times, I forget. The raw chicken breasts. The loaves of bread. The platter of Christmas cookies. The plate of cupcakes. Mmmmmmm..........................

M: Do you like the new bed(s) we bought for you?

S: Yeah, but I would really enjoy a matching pillow to go with them.

M: Hahahaha. Funny dog you are.

S: Thanks. I try.

M: Why do you always lick your privates?

S: Because I can.

M: Do you know that you snore really loudly?

S: It doesn't bother me at all and if you were sleeping it shouldnt bother you at all.

M: You woke me up!

S: Sucks to be you.

M: What are you dreaming about when you kick and moan in your sleep?

S: That's private. Let a poor guy have some privacy. It's bad enough that I deal with 3 children poking and climbing on me all day. Can't I have some "me time". Geesh.

M: Sorry. Do you know that we all cuddle you because we love you so much?

S: Yes...and you should. I am a great dog. You couldnt live without me. I know. I will bless you with my presence for a few more years.....or until I find somewhere better.

M: Thanks.

S: Roof.