December 15, 2008

Belly Laughs

I found this little piece of humour in one of our many local magazines and have to share. There is no author or reference of any kind to the person who wrote this funny piece so I can't give them kudos, but maybe it will give you a good laugh as it did to me.

Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.
3. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their coffee addiction, switch to espresso.
5. In the memo field of all your cheques, write "for marijuana".
6. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
9. Sing along at the opera.
10. Five days in advance, tell your friends that you can't attend their party because you have a headache.
11. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!".
12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives! They're loose!".
13. Tell your children over dinner "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
14. (For men) Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
Admit is friggin funny.
Happy Monday!


Michelle said...

That's funny! I must admit that I have a co-worker who switches the coffee to decaf on her boss when she's mad at him. Makes us laugh!

Jen said...

yup, that is pretty funny.

Missy said...

These are great! Made me laugh. :)

Allison said...

This was my first visit to your blog - I really enjoyed my time here - I am adding you to my favorites.

This post made me laugh out loud. Thanks - I needed that with all the holiday stress!