December 18, 2008

Letters to Santa

Dear Santa,

For Fristmas I want a mote contol monster truck, a mote contol dinosaur and a mote contol car. Oh yeah, and some gum, and some candy. I eat alot of it and when mommy says "no more" I wait until she is in a different room and then climb up to get some. She doesnt even notice when I have about six pieces in my mouth or look like a chipmunk because my mouth is full of candy. It would also be nice if you made my big brother disappear. He is a friggin dammit head. That's all.


Dear Santa,

For Christmas I would like 6 Webkinz. Not one or even two but 6 please. I wont be happy unless I have 6. I would also like it if you brought me a new mommy because my mom is mean and doesnt let me do all of the things I would like to do. So what if I want to eat peanut butter out of the jar or butter by the spoonful. There is nothing wrong with that. Oh yeah, I would also like it if you made my little brother disappear. He is a stupid moron.


Dear Santa,

For Christmas I would like my teeth that have been keeping me (and mommy) up at night to pop through and cause no more pain. I would also like it if Mommy would stop talking in that high pitched squeaky voice when she talks to me. I dont understand why mommies think that that is the way babies should be spoken to. Like, really. I would also like it if you could bring me alot of paper and boxes because I love to play with (and eat) them. It is so much fun. And could you please tell my mom to stop pulling the pieces out of my mouth and ruining all of my enjoyment? She wants me to learn how to chew but wont let me practice with paper in my mouth. One more thing. Could you please find a way to make my brothers be quiet because they are loud and always fight and call eachother bad names? My house would be alot more peaceful without them running around and yelling all of the time. If you cant do that, maybe you can just write them a note and tell them you wont come back next year if they behave like they have been this year. Thanks muchly.


Dear Santa,

Hi buddy. Just wanted to send you a quick note to let you know what I want for Christmas this year. I would like any meat or cheese product because I eat alot of the stuff. Any kind of red meat is preferred. I would also like any item that is sold at Bass Pro Shop. I dont hunt and rarely fish. Heck, I dont even own a boat but the fish sculptures and wilderness artwork is right up my alley. My wife wouldnt mind one bit if we had a fish sculpture hanging over our couch. She thinks it would look cool. Thanks a million

Busy aka Mr. Momma

Dear Santa,

Hi big guy. Momma here. I will keep this short and sweet. For Christmas can you make me look like Angelina Jolie? Much appreciated.


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Tracey said...

Hmmmm. Those all sound like feasible wishes. I see no problem with Santa being able to fulfill them all...

Allison said...

This made me laugh