May 26, 2009

The Survivor Diet- My thoughts


I miss having perky boobs.

I miss having a waistline.

Since I miss my perky boobs and my waistline so much I am thinking of going on the Survivor Diet. This involves travelling to an island with minimal supplies.
Photo courtesy of Photobucket

A deserted island with bathroom facilities is a must. Running water is also a must.

And electricity.

I did not say I was going to rough it, I just said I was going on the diet.

I will be on a tropical island with lots of fruit trees and edible berry bushes. There will be copious amounts of clean water to drink.

There will be no chocolate.

Or cookies.

*gasp* Take a deep breath Momma.

Yes, it will be difficult but I feel that it is what I have to do to get my body back. I cannot live anywhere close to sugar.....bad sugar. I cannot have access to stores or restaurants.

I will swim in the ocean that is blocked off from all sea mammals. No big fish, snakes, sharks, crocs or eels can come within a mile of my swimming area please and thank you.

Because if they do come near me I may just have a heart attack...or get eaten and the entire experience will be pointless.

I will jog on the beach. Ok, who am I kidding...... I will walk. Alot.

I will spend my days in the water and in the sand getting all pretty and healthy. I will read gossip magazines and maybe even a novel or two. I will listen to my music. Bluegrass music will not exist on this island.

I will not eat chocolate. Or cookies. Or anything that is remotely unhealthy. I will be the picture of optimal health.

I will drink water because it is the only beverage available. No soda. No Kool Aid. No juice.


I will lose weight. I will get in shape.

I will come home, look at chocolate and have no desire to eat it.

I will only eat salads and fish, and all the good stuff that people are supposed to eat.


And then I will get a boob job.

The End.

Yes, these thoughts actually do run through my mind. Now if only I can find someone who will let me stay on their well equipped island for free.

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Trudy said...

Send a postcard...LOL! I'm beginning to think that's what I need to do too.

sky girl said...

Sounds great. Honestly though I've often considered eating nothing but rice, beans & fish for the entire season of Survivor. Bet it would work.

Mariah said...

Yep...sounds like a winner. Let us know if it workds and have fun:)

Swoozie said...

Roughing it IS going on a diet! Good luck with your quest and be sure to let me know where this free island is......I'll be there.

Michelle said...

You aren't the only one who's had those thoughts before! I just didn't go quite into that level of detail. I will say that when you're away from sugar and don't eat it, it does become unappealing after awhile. And if you find that island... let me know. I'll join you. I'll even jog on the beach, promise!

Heatherlyn said...

Haha! Loved it. The only way I can keep my boobs at all is by eating lots of chocolate and ice-cream! And for perky? A really good bra!

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

When you find that island, let me know. I'll be glad to go there with you!

Jenners said...

I'll go with you ... but if you have brown hair and I mistake it for chocolate and try to bite your head off as I detox from chocolate withdrawal, I will not be responsible.

And I really need to do something about my flabby self.

This IS The Fun Part! said...

Sounds like there are several of us who want to join you on this quest. But I'm not going unless we can sleep indoors without bugs and with A/C!

I'll help catch and clean the fish if someone else will cook 'em!


Elaine A. said...

You and me both, friend, you and me both. Can't we have just a little chocolate though?