September 03, 2009

Advice to an Uninformed Father

To the whiny little girls Dad at swimming lessons,

Hi there. Remember me? I am the mother of the two boys at swimming lessons who always sat on the bench beside you. You always brought your own lawnchair because, well, I guess youre too good for the public pool benches.

Anyways, I wanted to send you a quick letter offering you a piece of advice.

Hope you dont mind but I overheard a conversation you had with a fellow parent who nicely came up to your fancy lawnchair and interrupted your texting conversation with whomever it was that was more important than watching your girls.

I digress.

I overheard you congratulate the nice lady on her pregnancy.

Except she wasnt pregnant.

Just because she had a nice flowing sundress on does not mean she is pregnant. She is the mother of four girls and probably carries a bit of her weight in the tummy area and feels comfortable wearing sundresses instead of tight tshirts and shorts. NEVER, EVER mention a pregnancy unless the person tells you herself and you are 100% sure. It is an unwritten rule that apparently you missed out on because you were too busy with your Bl@ackberry.

Because of you, that poor Mom probably went home and ate 2 pounds of chocolate or has been starving herself and working out like crazy ever since.

Or, she is sitting in the corner in tears rocking back and forth, back and forth.

Shame on you Mister. Next time I see you, I will comment on how nice your toupee looks and see how you feel.

From Momma aka The mom on the bench beside you

*This post was inspired by MamaKat's prompts. Go see her for more*



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16 comments:

S Club Mama said...

I was at a garage sale a week after my son was born and the lady asked when I was due. I didn't even like it then. I sure as heck didn't like it after my first son was born either. I know I got it more than once.

Sorry, people, I don't lose weight easily...:(

Life with Kaishon said...

Oh my gosh! That poor lady : (!
I always like when people bring chairs to the pool! More room for me on my free bench : ) Great letter!

Foursons said...

What a jerk.

The Smiths said...

That was great!!! I love it!
Very well said!

That lady wasn't you was it? the "pregnant" one?

Heatherlyn said...

You did a great job writing that letter! You don't suppose that guy can blog from his blackberry and might see it? It would do him some good. :)

The Royal Family said...

oh my! How funny to overhear, I love your advice. My elderly neighbor that I speak of in my post told me i look like i'm carrying twins... hello what are you suppose to look like at 38weeks!!! LOL

Check out my peeping toms story: http://bzzagentroyalty.blogspot.com/2009/09/writters-workshop-peeping-toms.html

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The Buzz, Brandy

Jen said...

You tell him! This letter should be handed out to all men, they should memorize it and know.

Jennifer said...

You tell him! That poor lady.

Erin said...

That's horrible! Good piece of advice! Poor lady!

Jeanette said...

I thought everyone knew that rule. Never be the first to say pregnant (unless you yourself are the pregnant one).

Elaine A. said...

Men can be so clueless when it comes to this. I'm sorry if she felt badly just because he was stupid.

MommyBrain said...

Yah for you for standing up for that mama in the sundress. Really, what business does that jack-@%% have congratulating her in the first place? Oh how I hate parents who text at the playground or swim lessons ... it's like, give it a rest.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

The advice I give people about this is, you never assume a woman is pregnant unless you see a head protruding from between their legs.

Jessica said...

This happened to one of my coworkers, too. Ugh! I feel so bad for that lady and would sign the bottom of your letter right below your name if allowed!

Miss. Candy said...

Oh my gosh!!! How rude is that man! The texting gets out of hand, I have made pact with my kids that I will not text, email or talk on the cell at all while at their events. Work can take over at times, but THEY are what matters!! Cute post!!

Miss. Candy said...

Oh my gosh!!! How rude is that man! The texting gets out of hand, I have made pact with my kids that I will not text, email or talk on the cell at all while at their events. Work can take over at times, but THEY are what matters!! Cute post!!