December 30, 2009

Resolutions that I probably wont keep but I am going to try so frickin hard!

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Nanny Goat in Panties
We have almost entered the Year 2010.

Freaky huh?
Wasnt the world supposed to end 10 years ago?

2010 will be the "Year of Momma". The year that I finally think of myself and do things to better my life and improve my mental state.

Not that I have mental issues. *twitch*

In the Year 2010 I will work my fat ass off to look like this

Which means I will also need alot of surgery, so I will be playing the lottery every week.




In the Year 2010, I will do more of this



And because I will be smiling more, I will invest in some teeth whitening services.





In the Year 2010, I will appreciate my children more. I say this every morning when I wake up but this time it is different. Really.





I will smile and appreciate my children even when they are fighting and calling eachother "friggin a-holes".





In 2010 I will do more of this




And I will smile while reading a juicy novel on the beach with my perfect bod.




In the Year 2010, I will learn how to take better pictures and uncovering the secret to convincing all three children to smile when they see the camera.

At the same time.




I would also like to learn how to better edit my pictures.




And win a trip somewhere pretty so I can spend a week taking pictures of pretty things. Just because.




In the Year 2010, I will eat less of this



And drink less of this


Ok, lets be honest here. Basically the Year 2010 will be the year that I starve myself while hiding out in my bedroom reading romance novels.




But I will be smiling with nice white teeth.




Happy Friggin New Year!







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15 comments:

Jen said...

I don't make resolutions b/c I never keep them. But I do wish you luck. :)

Foursons said...

Sounds like a good plan to me! Nora Roberts is my fave.

Heatherlyn said...

In 2010 I am not going to stop eating chocolate. I will never stop eating chocolate. So ... I will have to start to exercize 30 minutes a day 5 days a week. Even though I will never look like that girl in the bikini. Because I've had 5 babies. And laser removal surgery for stretch marks is way too expensive. And I'm not sold on the boob job thing. I could go for some teeth whitener though and a good book!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I resolve to NEVER resolve to eat less chocolate. Because that's just wrong!

Mrs. Lovely said...

Oh don't cut out chocolate, how will you survive?! ;)

Soliloquy said...

It's a cruel world that turns your body to pot while you selflessly raise children.

I want to look like that girl too. I'm thinking a tan might be a step in the right direction.... tan fat looks better than pale fat.

Tan also makes your teeth look whiter!!

June Freaking Cleaver said...

That girl in the pic doesn't even look like that girl in the pic...can you say Photoshop and airbrushing?

And life without chocolate? Hardly worth getting out of bed, if you ask me.

Lynsey said...

Hilarious! Best of luck to you. The world needs more smiling!

But it definitely needs less girls who look like that in a bikini, Photoshop or not. We should all resolve to lower our standards, then maybe I will still be considered attractive on some level. ;-)

Jessica said...

I could probably go for the teeth whitening as well. I've been thinking about it for so long that maybe I should just go for it! What'cha think?

Lidian said...

Those are good resolutions. I know that they are good because they made me so tired I am going to go hide in a corner with a magazine tented attractively over my head, to hide the fact that I am scarfing down Christmas chocolate for dinner..

LOL! Happy New Year!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

OMG - you crack me up! And good luck on the lottery followed by all that surgery. ACK!

Thanks for linking up over on NGIP and I hope you have an awesome 2010.

- Margaret

John Deere Mom said...

Love this!! But no chocolate or diet soda?! EEK!

WackyMummy said...

Happy friggin new year to you too!

(Love your new years plans.) ;)

Jenners said...

Sounds pretty good to me!!!

And re: the teeth whitening: A few weeks ago, the Little One got off the school bus, looked at me smiling at him and said "Your teeth look like they are rotten Mommy." So perhaps I should add this to my list as well. And for the record, they are a bit yellow but NOT ROTTEN!!!!!!!

lizgizzy said...

I love you list, especially the twitching part. I can totally relate.