Ten years ago today I was at work.
Wearing green overalls.
Wearing my hair up in a ponytail because the child I was working with enjoyed pulling my hair.
Wearing a white tshirt.
I was pregnant.
I didn't hear the news until my lunch break because the family of the child who pulled my hair did not watch TV.
I was providing therapy to their gorgeous little boy who has autism
Teaching him how to play Mr. Potato Head
Print his letters
Ask for help using sign language
Use the potty
I was pregnant
And unaware that the world was in danger
Until I ate my lunch in my 1988 Mazda 323 in the parking lot of a Wendy's.
I ate a baked potato
I turned on the radio
I found out that the world was in danger
I was pregnant
and terrified.
What kind of world was I bringing my child into?
How would I keep him safe?
How would I hide my fears so he could grow up enjoying life without any fear?
10 years later, I think the world is a safer place.
And I think my almost 10 year old child is enjoying life without any fear.
Yet.
Where were you on that day?
Do you remember every little detail like I do?
4 comments:
I was also pregnant. My daughter was born 15 days later.
It was my mother in law's birthday. We drove in to visit her and when we walked in they were staring at the tv news in disbelief. She did not celebrate her birthday that day and has not celebrated her birthday on her actual birthday ever since.
I do not remember very many details of that particular day. What I remember now vividly are things that will never happen again since that day: like when I forgot my drivers license and had no other ID and the airline would still let me on a plane, or when there didn't use to be security at the airport other than a metal detector and anyone could wait at the terminal to see a plane off or welcome a passenger home. Yeah, I remember those moments with vivid clarity because they belong to a world my daughter, who was born 15 days after 9/11, will never know.
I remember. Oh, how I remember. My son was in 2nd grade - a baby really. And how in the world was I to explain to him what he was seeing on the television? How was I to keep him safe?
I remember the shock and disbelief. I remember the amazement that a group of people could hate us so much to do such a thing. I remember the fear.
The fear that still lingers.
Me and my one year old son were watching his favorite cartoon on tv, which was my normal day. I never got to watch grown up television. My Mom called me and told me to turn on the news and I turned it on just as the second plane hit. I was in total shock at the disregard for human life these terrorist had. I was still suffering from post partum anxiety and this just made me want to wrap my house in a bubble and never leave it again.
What a time to be pregnant! My sister-in-law was too and I remember talking about how scary it was to bring a child into the world at such a scary and uncertain time.
And I'd not seen that particular photo before. It just rips me apart.
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