That moment when I had a moment

Oh, Hi.
Remember me?  I'm the gal who started this ol' blog with the intent of documenting the moments in my family's lives, venting about those memorable moments and, well, crap..........life has just gotten in the way.

Is blogging a dying breed?
Are people just using facebook/instagram/twitter now?  Fill me in so I can keep up with the cool peeps.

Today as I sat here on the computer registering my kids for summer camp, something led me back here.  Maybe that means I am not ready to close this thing down.  Maybe I still have stuff to say.

Deep thoughts.......
Random thoughts.....

Who knows?

First lets talk about me.
HA
God, I am funny.

I have a freckle/mole thing on my body that I had to get checked out.
P.S.  Whenever I say "mole" I think of this scene.

On the way to see my doc I had a moment.
A moment that made me think about how things can change in a second.
I mean, if this "moley moley moley" turns out to be something not so great, my life will change instantly.  If it's nothing, that's frickin awesome, but I need to smarten my ass up. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff all of the time.

I mean, holy crap.  I am 39 years old.  My children are healthy, happy and thriving.  They are growing more independent by the day and before I know it, they will be packing their bags and heading out into the real world.

I need to snap out of my "holyshitmykidsarelazy" mood and breathe in this time.

That was my moment.

And then I came home and Febreze-d their stinky shoes without cursing once.

Yo.

Dude, I am still alive.

Fo realz.

I am alive as in breathing alive, not climbing up a mountain singing "hallelujah" alive, but whatever.

Basically, I am existing.

Don't say "aw" and "you poor thing", because, honestly, I think existing is friggin awesome right now.

I have recently come to terms with the fact that my life as a mother is changing.

My children have all entered into different phases of their lives and now Mommy has to catch up and just deal with it.

They don't need me as much.

They don't like me very much.

In fact, there are many times they hate me.

And instead of doing the ugly cry in the corner, I am learning (slowly) to just suck it up.

But fuck it is hard.

To all of you peeps who have infants and toddlers, enjoy every second, because when they get to their tween years it is a whole new game.

Its a shitty game where the rules change constantly and you have to find a way to stay ahead of your independent, stubborn, smart opponents (aka your children) before they kick your ass.

Shes not a tween yet, but acts like one

While dealing with this new change, I am also realizing that I have lost myself.

My life has been lived for my babies over the last 12 years and now (at times) they hate me and...well....that's hard for me because theyaremylife.

In my mind I am thinking......

"I have done everything for them and they don't even appreciate it?

Have I screwed up as a parent because they still hate me after all I do for them?

Is it hormones?

Am I a wimp?

I need to get a life."

But then I hug and kiss them and tell them I love them anyways and pray to God that they grow up healthy and happy because their parents adore them

Its a never ending battle in my head, which is probably why I'm a mental mess.

So where does that leave blogging?

I mean, its rare that I can take a photo of my kids without them covering their faces or running the other way.

I could write about all the reasons they hate me today or what caused the fist fight at 7am, but that might get boring......or not.....

I could write about all of the pretty crafts I make and house redecorating I do, but.....hahahahahahahaha......it doesn't happen.

I have irritable bowel syndrome that makes eating anything other than applesauce a huge pain in my ass....literally.

Stay tuned.

Maybe soon I will write about shit my big kids are doing.

Or Ike and Duke the horses and Jersey the dog.

Or poop soup, because that's one of my favourite topics.

What's new with you?

Random

The last few days can just go bite it.
The weather.
My lumpy, bumpy body in a bathing suit.
My children growing up.
I want to go back to summer 2010 please and thank you.

*Today it was so cold and windy and snowy that I could only see a few feet in front of my vehicle. As I drove my shitmobile to do groceries I was wondering why the hell I was driving to the grocery store on such a craptastic day. I mean, really, we couldve survived 24 more hours without some raspberries and hummus.

It was a stupid idea.
Except I really wanted hummus.

*This

*The boys told me they don't believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa/Tooth Fairy and I almost did the ugly cry.  I have dreaded this day since 2002, and, then, in a casual conversation it came up.

Like I said.
Lets go back to 2010.

*Sometimes I feel guilty when the horses are outside in the cold.  But then I see them run and play and then they run away from me when I come to the barn door which tells me they are happy.
Happy horses make me happy.

*While at the waterpark the other day when I looked all lumpy, bumpy and cottage-cheesey, I glanced at my three babies and noticed something.
They aren't babies anymore and it makes me sad.

And then I thought about the fact that I carried each of them inside my imperfect body.....
 and how perfect all three of them are....
 and that maybe its OK my body doesn't look like a supermodel.....
....because my body made this.

And that's all that matters.

Wow.
That was deep.


Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

Stuff I Learned in February

You might be surprised to read this, but, I don't know everything.
I know, I know.  Its shocking, but it is very true and I am realizing this more and more as I get older and my children grow.
I mean, just in the month of February I learned alot of crap.

I learned that a humidifier in my bedroom is exactly what I need to stop my cough at night. I was convinced I was dying of some incurable lung disease, but, nope....it is just dry in the house.

I learned that Mother Nature is a big, fat bitch.

(not my picture, but I like it)

I learned that Rita dies in the TV show, Dexter and I couldn't sleep for days because I was so upset about it.

(this is Rita and Dexter)
I learned that my daughter can sing "Let it Go" 297539796734967496 times and still not be tired of it.


I learned that Ike and Duke will be the stars at the local Maple Syrup Festival in March.  Go see them.....and the maple syrup stuff too.................

I learned that one of my kids has a hot chocolate addiction.

I  learned that I still have MAJOR body image issues in a bathing suit and am now searching for a swimsuit that hides all my lumps and bumps.  Help a girl out, will ya?

I also learned that taking my kids to an indoor water park is exhausting and takes me two days to recuperate.

I am a crotchety old lady with lumps and bumps and a nighttime cough.

My hubby is a lucky man.

Bring on March!

Mama Kat is cool

10

January 31, 2004, my second born came into this world in a huge rush.
He entered this life with such speed that the doctor missed it.
And since that day, this perfect creation has continued to live by his own schedule.
I love this kid so effing much that it hurts.

I could tell you everything I love about him, but that would take until next month, so, instead read this interview.
It's funny because he hated it so much.............

"Matthew, can I ask you a few questions?"
"No"
"It won't take long, I promise"
"OHHHHHH MOM, I HATE THESE THINGS!!!!!!"
"One day, you will thank me for doing all of this"
"No I won't"

"Whats your favourite colour?"
"Green" "TV Show" "Rick's Restoration. "Do you mean American Restoration?" "No" "Movie?"
"I don't know"
"Food?"
"Spaghetti and Hamburger Helper"
"Number?"
"1111"
"Why?"
"Because its all ones"

"If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?"
"Under the Sea"

"Who is the Prime Minister of Canada?"
"Marack Obama"
"President of the United States?"
"Marack Obama"
"Wow, he must be a busy guy"
"What makes you happy?"
"Going to sleep"
"Mad?"
"When Nicholas calls me names"
"Sad"
"When Nicholas copies me in a girl voice"

"Tell me one good thing about Dad"
"He buys me Tim Hortons hot chocolate"
"Tell me one good thing about Mom"
"She makes me Hamburger Helper"

"How tall do you think you will grow?"
6 foot 3

"Where will you go on your first date?"
"This is dumb"
"WHERE?????????????"
"A restaurant"
"What will you do there?"
"Give her a smooch"

"Who and what would you take with you if you were stranded on a desert island?"
"Food, water and Dad, because Dad knows about most stuff"

"Are you going to have kids one day?"
"Sure. Maybe 1"

"What do you own right now that you will keep forever?"
"A picture of my family"
"Why?"
"So I have memories"

"What kind of car will you drive when you're a grown up?"
"A Ford Super duty Diesel Doctor"
"Is that real?"
"YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What part of being a grown up are you looking forward to the most?
"Being able to tell people what to do"

"What part are you a little afraid of?"
"Paying bills"

"Are we done now?"
"Yeah"   Happy birthday to my headstrong, handsome, smart, funny, athletic, affectionate 10 year old. *sniff*

Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

I am a parenting failure and Cindy is horny.

Sometimes I don't enjoy this whole parenting thing.
Sometimes I remember my life before children, when I could come home from work, eat dinner in front of the TV, watch my shows and go to bed without being responsible for anyone but myself.
It seems so easy now, even though I thought my life was stressful at the time.

This weekend one of my {headstrong, speakbeforethinkingwithoutanyconcernforfeelings} informed me that all of his friends' Moms bake homemade stuff whenever he is there for a play date.  He always gets to eat banana bread or something yummy for dessert when visiting.  He also let me know that his friend's Moms are "always happy" and "in a good mood".

That's not all.

Apparently every other family does fun stuff every single weekend and our family never does any fun stuff and he doesn't think that is fair.  He thinks that every weekend our family of 5 needs to head north to go skiing, or go bowling, or tubing, or to the movies, or rock climbing, or to a hotel.

Basically he thinks money flies out of our asses.
And he has forgotten that we took him to Disney world two months ago and are taking him to Great Wolf Lodge in a few weeks.

I think he was trying to make me feel bad, and, in all honesty, I did for 0.3 seconds.  Not because he was right, but because he doesn't appreciate a damn thing we do for him.
He doesn't realize that my life is lived for him.
He doesn't realize that everything I do is to create the best life for him.
He doesn't remember the {many} times I bake banana bread, muffins, cupcakes, brownies and other treats because I know he loves them.
He doesn't think of the many times I rub his tummy because it is sore....
the times we have dance parties in the living room....
the times I AM in a good mood.
He cant appreciate all that he has because he is too busy thinking of everything he doesn't have.
My solution to this?
My first thought was eating myself into a chocolate coma so I could escape all of my "I am failing as a parent" feelings, but, eventually I would wake up.
Then I thought I could make him get a job so he could do all of those fun things that cost money, but, he is still too young.
So instead I am officially going on a baking and "good mood" strike.
And I am cancelling our trip to Great Wolf Lodge.

OK, not really, because I want to go.
I just have to figure out how to stay in a bad mood while there.
I need a group hug {and hard liquor} because this parenting thing is just a big wad of suckage right now.

In totally unrelated news, Cindy the pony is in heat and harassing Ike the gelding.
She's basically twerking in his face until he tries to mount her.
Then she kicks him.



And how was your weekend?  

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Sucker Punch

The other night I was trying to organize the thousands of photographs that were never put into photo albums and ended up being thrown into a box.

I have attachment issues with photographs.

Its one of my many issues.

While my children played around me, I sat on the basement {concrete} floor "Ooooo"ing and "Awwww"ing over my babies when they were actual, little tiny babies.

I called my kids over to look at pictures of themselves and all of their baby-ish perfection.

I showed them photos of their dad and I as young kids and adults before children.

They weren't interested.

I was a basket case.

I mean, what has happened??

They were just babies yesterday.

I was just a kid last week.

And now my {almost} 12 year old is deep thinking what he wants to be when he grows up.

My {almost} 10 year old wears a size 9.5 men's shoe.

And my {almost} 6 year old acts like she is 16.

Time.
One big, ginormous sucker punch to the face.
I have the wrinkles to prove it.

**Joining MamaKat this week.  I think she has missed me.**

Today my kids fought. It is a usual event, but today they threw pizza pockets at eachother. Hold me.

Yo.
Guess what I just did?
I attempted to twerk in front of a mirror.
And it was not a pretty sight.

38.5 year old women who have birthed three children should never, ever twerk.

I am old.
And jiggly.

Group hug please.

*There is a stranger living in my house. 
OK, not really. 
The stranger is actually my husband who has been working for 3.5 weeks and only home to sleep.
Now, his schedule is back to normal and the family is readjusting to being "normal" again.

*Dear Children
This pisses me off.
And this too
Love Mom

*I think I hate Princess Kate.
Her flawless skin.
Her perfect hair.
Her classy wardrobe.
Her perfect body just weeks after having a baby.
Yep, I hate her. I bet she even looks good twerking

*How I look when my kids eat the last cookie

*Dear New Parents
Having a new baby is wonderful isn't it?  I know it seems difficult at times, but, just wait until that beautiful, perfect lil' human gets older and the hormones take hold of their brain and body.  Sorry to rain on your parade, but enjoy the coos and smiles now, before they turn into anger/tears and rage.
Love V

Send me happy pills please.
And send some for my hormonal kid too.

Happy Friday y'all!!!
It's been a bad day.
Feel sorry for me, k?

Linking up with a few of my faves

A Rural Journal

Best Moments of the Summer.....so far.

I wish I could tell you I am one of those parents who plans educational outings for her kids every day during summer holidays.
I wish I was crafty.
And fun.
And happy that my kids are home for nineeffingweeksstraight.

But I am not.

Let me rephrase that.

I love my kids.
I would be ecstatic to have my kids home every day if they didn't argue every .56 seconds.
But they do.
Which makes me want to drink 24/7 until I am so numb and out of it that I can sit in a lawn chair and giggle while they beat the crap out of each other.

FML.

Anyways........

we are 4 weeks into this Hell and there are a few memorable moments to share so far.

*Like the time daughter got 97428946967 mosquito bites and needed a constant high of Benadryl to stop the itch.

*Or the time our office/den wall looked like it was painted black overnight, but it was really just ants.


*Ohhhhh....there was the time we took Jersey the dog to the Holistic Vet and paid $314 for him to tell us to come back in three weeks.


*And the time I lost my shit on one of my kids because he was making the most annoying noises ever.   *That time Cindy the Pony came to live here and was thisclose to pooping on my foot. That was fun.

*There was also the day that Princess Kate had her baby boy and it totally brought me back to the day 11 years ago when we welcomed our 8+ pound little Prince.
Except I didn't have to greet the media and millions of excited humans 24 hours later looking all awesome with perfectly styled hair, a pretty polka dot dress, cute little empty uterus and blemish-free skin.
{Instead, I was still fat, full of zits, major bloated in the face, had unkempt hair and the darkest under eye circles known to exist.  Whatever}

Hmph.

And how is your summer going????

Parenting is only for the tough. I am not tough. I am weak...and frustrated....ready to GTF outta here!

Man, oh man.  I am losing followers like crazy.
Maybe they think my dog is annoying.
Or hate Ike and Duke.
Maybe they don't know that I went to see Kenny Rogers this weekend.
If they knew that, I am sure they would all come crawling back wanting to know if the plastic surgery really did mess up his face. 
And, I would tell them yes.

But that isn't what this is about.
Lets discuss this cruel assignment called Parenting.
This long, mind sucking, body taking, confidence killing test. 
Ermegerd, it is killing me slowly.

We recently paid someone to work his ass off finishing a room in our basement.
A finished, private room with comfy furniture, tiled floor, an area rug, big TV, DVD player and video games.
All of this for our bratty, spoiled, unappreciative children because we thought it would be nice for them to have their own space to play with each other/friends. They told us they wanted it. And actually seemed excited.
We are total suckers.

They have never used it.
Not once.
And they don't plan on it.
Because they say it is scary.

I give up. Done. Finished. Thisclosetorunningaway.

Dear Followers.  Why are you leaving us?  We are fun.  And weird.  And love Photobooth.

Pass the booze.

"No offense Mom, but you have a huge zit on your chin."
"No offense Mom, but it looks like you ate a hippo for lunch."
"No offense Mom, but you embarrass me."
"No offense Mom, but you look like a hobo dressed like that."

Aren't {almost} 11 year old boys fun?

Excuse me while I go bang my head against the wall while rocking back and forth with my thumb in my mouth.

Mealtime Battles...or not.

Call me laid back or stupid, but I don't believe in battling my children for control.
Sure, there is much I can do to express my opinion and inform them of right and wrong, but I know that trying to control them will only end up in a blubbery mess.
blubbery mess=me in tears, children in tears, no one listening to each other

They are responsible for their decisions.
They are their own person.  Who am I to try to make them someone else? That is just a losing battle that will make my kids hate me. And me hate them.

I believe in consequences.
Everything leads up to a behaviour and from that behaviour a consequence occurs. Good or bad.

Does that make sense?

I am not going to get too behavioural here but this is really just a long way of saying that I do not force my children to eat every bite of their dinner if they choose not to eat it at that time.  I do not force my children to sit at the table until their plate is clean.  I do not sit at their side with a fork full of food trying to coerce them into eating it because then, um, who has the control?  I do not feed my children because they wont do it themselves.

I just inform them that if they decide not to eat it, than they are not allowed to have any dessert or treats.

I also inform them that their bedtime snack will be their dinner.

No battles.
Just matter of fact.
And they make the decision.
Notice she is bathed and in her nightie.
Eating lasagna.   I could say "BOOYAH" right now, but that would mean I think I won the non-existent battle. Mommy-1 Princess-0 *cough*

 

You know what would be great?

*If my children actually put their dirty clothes in the baskets instead of throwing them beside the basket...or in their closet...or under their bed....

*If my children did not spit gobs of toothpaste in the sink.....and then leave it there.

*If they would flush the damn toilet.

*If they would take the dog outside before he pisses on the floor.

*If they would remember we have a dishwasher.....and actually put their dirty dishes in it.

*If they wouldn't fight every 32 seconds.

*If Princess wouldn't tattletale every 47 seconds.

*If they would use stuff for the reason it was made, instead of taking it apart and leaving pieces in every corner of the house.

*If they wouldn't lock each other in the dog crate.
With a real lock.
And then tip it over.
And then scream....and yell....
....and call eachother bad names.
And then lose the key.


Just sayin'

Hosted by Cecily and Lolli  

A Night Owl