February 06, 2013

10 Reasons You Should be Glad I Didnt Blog in my Twenties

1.  I would have bitched about college nonsense.  The girls downstairs using too much hairspray.  The girls downstairs leaving the bathroom in a disgusting mess.  The prof who took a mark off because I spelled one word wrong.  The liquor store was sold out of my favourite cooler.

Totally world-ending stuff, right?

2.  I would have complained about parents not knowing what they are doing...before I was a parent and realized that I don't have an effing clue what I am doing!!!!
I would never let my kids play with toy guns.  Or video games.  Or Princess toys.
They would only be allowed to watch TV for 30 minutes a day.
Never would they eat crap like Pop Tarts and hot dogs on a stick.
I would totally be the best parent ever.


3.  Titanic is the BEST MOVIE EVER MADE! {its what I thought at the time}

I would probably tell you about seeing it in the theatres 5+ times.
Which I did.
Because I'm a dork.

4.  My wedding.  Oh God.  It gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about all of the money we spent, the stress it caused...for one perfect day.

5. I would have whined about being fat.  When, really, I was a skinny bitch.

6.  There would have been more photos like this.
Lets all take a moment and say "WTFwereyouthinkingwearingglasseslikethat????"
7.  Pregnancy. You would have heard about constipation, muscle spasms, discharge, insomnia and all of the other reasons I hated being pregnant.
8.  Labour and Delivery.  You would have heard all about mucous plugs, the doctor with the huge sausage fingers, the nurse who scorned me for cursing during contractions and my husband who had a spray bottle to keep himself from passing out.
Fun times.
9.  Poutine.  I discovered it in the college cafeteria and ate it every single day for lunch.  I would have wrote about it every day because I was so madly in love with it.
Still am.
10. Totally would have vlogged myself rocking out to this song.
Maybe the entire album because I love it so much.
I am even considering vlogging myself headbanging to it next week, just to prove that I can still rock it like a 20 year old.
Or not.
Is headbanging a cool thing to do now?
Gawd, Im old.
This was fun.
I have so many more.
I am sure MamaKat was cool in her 20s.


Anonymous said...

lol Love it! I loved that whole album too. Still do. :) Stopping by from Mama Kat's

Anonymous said...

LOL for real; fashion back then left so much to be desired!

OneMommy said...

Oh, now how did I forget about all that stupid dorm drama??? I must have blocked it from my mind.

Yes, the world is glad I didn't blog in my 20's, too.
Stopping by from Mama Kat's.

Mama Melch said...

Did you have a smoke machine at your wedding?? Great post!
Stopping over from Mama Kat's.

Gigi said...

You've just made me feel really, really old. Since that song came out when I was almost 30!

But, I can relate. You wouldn't have wanted to see me blogging in my twenties either.

Anonymous said...

Ah hahahahahaha, coming up for air, ha! I hated being preggers. There, I said it. You are a brave girl getting there more than once. I wimped out, once only. Thanks for the memories. Patty/BC

Anonymous said...

Great post! Stopping by from MamaKat's!

Robbie K said...

I had to google Poutine but it sounds fantastic and addicting!