November 03, 2008

Dear Hospital BigWigs

I am writing this letter to offer a few ideas that I feel would be beneficial to your hospital as well as the community that you serve. Please take a few moments out of your busy schedule saving people's lives and delivering babies to read this as I feel you will not be disappointed.

As a member of the community and a mother of three young children, including two very active rambunctious boys I have been putting alot of thought into ways that young families can get the medical help they require on a regular basis.

Firstly, I have done some research and my data shows that the majority of your emergency room visitors are young parents with sick and/or injured children. These busy young parents who have 1, 2, 3 or more children to care for are spending hours and hours waiting in your emergency rooms while dealing with their sick and/or injured children as well as their siblings. This in turn has caused these parents to require extra medical care as they eventually require some psychological care.....creating more spending in the health care system that could be put to better use.

Secondly, your very skilled, busy doctors and nurses are spending more of their time dealing with very frustrated, tired and psychologically fragile parents because of these long wait times when they could be putting their skills to good use doing more paperwork and flirting with eachother.

Thirdly, my research has shown that the majority of your emergency room patients are young boys. Either as a result of accidents around the home or wrestling with their male sibling(s). There are endless possibilities to the injuries young boys come in with as they are very energetic and dont always have the proper outlets to wear off their energy, thus causing injuries. For example, just the other night, Halloween to be exact, I was dressing my daughter in her costume on our upper floor while my two boys waited downstairs to go trick or treating. In the 30 seconds that they were out of my sight, they decided to wrestle. After hearing a loud thump, I ran downstairs to find my oldest boy crawling up the stairs crying. When I bent down to see if he was ok, he blacked out and fell down those same stairs. It only took 30 seconds.

As a concerned citizen, I feel I have come up with the perfect solution. My solution is to build a small wing off to the side of the emergency room area strictly for young families who have 2+ boys. In this wing, there would be highly trained nurses and MANY skilled doctors waiting for the next male-related injury to arrive. In this area, there would be murals on the walls full of Superheroes and motor vehicles. There would also be exciting boy toys to keep them occupied while they waited. At the entrance to this wing there would be a swiper machine where parents would swipe their membership cards with all relevant information about their boy(s) and previous history of their past visits. That way you would not need triage nurses to ask a million questions before making the families wait 6 hours.

The wait time would be short because the doctors and nurses would be trained in non-flirting methods and there would be so many waiting and eager to treat the injured patients that they would practically argue over who gets the boy with the broken arm or who gets the boy who needs stitches.

Parents would not complain or ask for the gazillionth time how much longer it would be, so your skilled professionals wouldnt have to spend time and taxpayers money dealing with them.

Also, in this wing, there would be a childcare room with the best toys EVER so the siblings of these sick and/or injured boys would not have to sit on their parents knee or wander the halls while waiting the short wait time. They could spend that 1/2 hour playing with toys they have never seen and meeting new friends.

And, lastly, the province would save millions of dollars because these young parents would not require any psychological help to get them through the sick child-regular hospital visit phase of their life.



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