March 27, 2009

Public Reliever

No, it is not a new movie coming to movie theatres.

Or a new novel about to be published.

The Public Reliever was my son.

Rowdy to be more specific.

A few years ago the boys would always wait at the end of our suburban court for their Daddy to come home from work. Messy would ride his bicycle (with training wheels) and Rowdy would pedal his blue and green tricycle to the end of the street. Then the two of them would sit on the Old Lady's front lawn and wait.

While waiting, they would check out Old Lady's marigold garden. Then they would check out her planters full of fake silk flowers. Then they would circle her driveway riding their bikes..... which ended abruptly after Rowdy ran into her pretty white planter making a black tire mark along the side.


Accidents happen.

Tricycles can get going pretty fast when moving in a circular a 3 year old.

One day when I went outside for the umpteenth time to make sure that Old Lady had not kidnapped my boys and cooked them up for dinner, I noticed something.

Something odd.

Rowdy was bending over.

His pants were around his ankles.

I was worried. So I ran down to see if everything was ok.

"I had to go poo"

"YOU WHAT??????????"

"I had to go poo Mommy"

My 3 year old child had pulled his pants down and did his business on Old Lady's grass!!!!!!

I had a moment.

A moment when many thoughts went through my head.

Firstly, I was hoping that no one witnessed what happened. It was in the middle of the day during the week so I was hopeful that everyone was at work or school.

Secondly, I was proud of my boy. We had been struggling to get him to do his business in the potty without success. He had no interest and preferred to move his bowels in his Scooby Doo underwear. So when he had the feeling and knew to pull down his pants, I was quite happy.

Maybe this was the beginning of something great.

Thirdly, am I going to have to clean up human poop off Old Lady's grass???? Nope. It landed in his pants.....and shoes.

Fourthly, do not laugh.

Fifthly, do not cry.

So while I pushed his tricycle and he waddled home, I explained that it is not ok to do private stuff out in public. If he needs to do his business than he needs to go to a bathroom.

"But dogs do it."

"And cats do it"


Now if he could just observe and imitate more socially appropriate human skills.

*Donations will be accepted for future therapy bills for Rowdy because once he sees that his mother posted about this incident, he will need it.

*Rowdy only did that once. Honest.

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Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure after he had to walk home with the remnants in his pants and shoes that he was convinced the toilet was the better way to go. ;)

John Deere Mom said...

OMG I can't believe he actually pooped! That is hysterical!!

Jen said...

this is just too funny. I am thankful that I have only had to deal with the peeing in public and not the pooing.

Jenny said...

LOL, that is so funny. I have only had to deal with the peeing in the front yard, to which I just said that is a back yard thing not a front yard thing.

Heatherlyn said...

I would have been so embarrased!!! But we each have a different learning curve, right?

I'm The Momma, That's Why! said...

Oh my - world fail me!

It is a good story to bring up - like maybe at his Graduation party!

Hillori said...

You are too funny!! he may need therapy, but so do we as moms!! :-)