September 01, 2010

A Letter to John Mayer

Dear John Mayer

I was there. I was at your Toronto concert on August 11. I saw your tattoo with my name on it. I saw the picture of me you had taped to your heart.
How sweet.
 

But you didn't talk to me.
Or invite me backstage.
Not even a wave.
Or a wink.

Nothing.

You just played some of my favourite songs ever as if I wasn't around. Like you didn't even write them for me.

Pfft.

I talked to my husband and he says it is OK if you come to our house for dinner. He also said it is OK if you come to our house to clean it, because it is one of  Momma's fantasies. But I am just not sure if you have forgotten about me or you are playing hard to get.

I know there is Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson and all of those other rich, powerful, beautiful celebrities with perfect faces and drop dead gorgeous bodies.

But they aren't me.

They don't know every single word to all of your songs.
They don't read your blog....obsessively.

They don't accept your mistakes.
They don't like it when you wear pink bandannas around your head.
They don't enjoy it when you wear outfits like this.
But me?  I don't judge.  I accept you for who you are and you completely ignored me.  I realize you were busy and had alot on your mind....maybe you were being a bit shy or playing hard to get.  But I didn't want much.  Just a "hello" would have been nice.

And accepting my offer to come clean my house would have been even better.

Maybe next time you're in Toronto??????
Love,


This post was inspired by MamaKat's weekly prompts. Go here to see other completed assignments.

10 comments:

Everyday Goddess said...

so i guess you wouldn't mind if he showed up to clean your house wearing that awesome ding sling?

;)

Jenners said...

Jeez ... he gets your name as a tattoo and then blows you off like that? What a jerk!

Jen said...

How rude!

;)

ournextchapters.com said...

What a tease! lol

Diane said...

The jerk!

Bluegrass Daddy said...

Hmmm,
Blogs about your hubby get 30 comments. Blogs about John Mayer....5? I think your wasting your time on that loser. Plus, hubby wouldn't be caught dead in any of that apparel. Looks like you'd be better off focusing on someone who really appreciates you than this walking fashion faux pas..

Momma@Live. Laugh. Pull your hair out said...

Dear Bluegrass Daddy
I sense a bit of jealousy. No worries. Hubby is still #1 in my eyes! Love Momma

Stephanie said...

Yowza! I coulda done without the photo of his junk, but I'll be OK... I hope he reads your post. :oP

Elaine A. said...

He's so in his own world. Especially wearing that horrible neon green thing. I mean, REALLY? OY!

Hilary Lane said...

I was with you until the banana hammock. :-)