January 11, 2012

Parenting Crap

I bitch alot about this parenting career I chose 10 years ago.
I had everything planned.
I would cuddle my baby.
Sing to him/her.
Dress him/her in nice clothes.
Enjoy every second.

Then my children got older and more demanding.
And they even figured out how to talk back.
And get dirty.
They found many ways to embarrass me. {have I ever told you about the time my kid crapped on our neighbours front lawn?}
To test me.
To make me cry.

How dare they, after all of the loving and cuddling I had given them since their birth?

But the reality is that I love being a parent and would do it all again in a second if I didn't hate being pregnant so much.  I would be just like that Duggar lady if I didnt blow up like a balloon and get acne on every inch of my body.  I would pop those suckers out if my bowels wouldnt bung up for weeks at a time and I didnt pee every 20 minutes all night long.  I would birth 20 children if we had a TV show and made millions of dollars to actually support the little buggers.

Ok.  Not really.
But it sounded good, right?

Why do I love being a parent so much?

Ummm....... I am thinking.........
....really hard.
Hang on. It will come to me.......

*I enjoy cleaning my house 15 times a day
*Laundry is one of my hobbies
*Opening toy packages is fun
*Wiping kids asses makes me smile
*I enjoy being broke
*Cooking grilled cheese is one of my specialties
*Mini vans are sexy
* I LOVE putting Lego together
...and playing Princess every second of the day
*I don't mind being unappreciated


*Kids are cute {especially mine}
*Watching them accomplish new things and hit new milestones every day is the best feeling in the world
*Hugs and kisses are my favourite
*Witnessing the little humans I helped create grow up into independent, smart, good looking,  bigger humans is the greatest reward to all of my hard work

Don't tell them, but I really do love playing Lego and Princesses.  As long as I can put the stickers on the creations and be Belle.
But I really friggin hate the laundry. 
Mama’s Losin’ It


Jen said...

Being a parent is awesome, hard but awesome.

Heather said...

Agree with it all, except for the Legos. I never really did like those stupid blocks.

Elaine A. said...

I just got a minivan, did you see? And I needed the space so badly for the kids and all our crap that I find my husband CRAZY sexy for finally buying the damn thing!!

And also, yes, all this...

FourJedis said...

I am so RELIEVED that my child is not the only child who crapped in a neighbor's yard... hopefully yours wasn't right when you moved in there like ours so that they the neighbors knew that you had redeeming qualities! In a 15 hour span, my child drank from a puddle in the street, which resulted in salmonella, keeping him out of school for 3 weeks, crapped in the neighbor's yard, and then cut a reverse mohawk hairdo. BUT... I wouldn't have it any other way (we could do without salmonella though). Happy Parenting!! :)

Betsy said...

Parenting is the best and worst job ever. Sometimes I'd like to quit but most times I wouldn't change a thing.

Jenners said...

I've often thought that parenting would be easier if I'd been lobotomized first. Then the mundane and repetitive aspects and playing below my age level would be fun instead of eye-gouging out boring. : )

Megan said...

Belle is definitely the best. Good call.

Stacey said...

Hahaha This was awesome! I hate legos too. There's not even a small part of me that likes them. And I get tired of stepping on them. We have 7 children and laundry is the bane of my existence. They really need to invent self-cleaning clothing.

Alison said...

I loved this post! Except for the Lego part-have you ever stepped on one of those suckers on the stairs in the middle of the night? I hid the Legos in the attic after that. And Belle is definitely the best. :)

Wombat Central said...

Yep. Hardest job, but the best one.

I love playing Legos, too. I could skip the Polly Pockets, but we do what we have to do, right? ;)

Diane said...

I just snorted...snorted! when I read the small print about the crapping in the neighbor's yard! I FEEL your pain!

But the pain is worth it. Plus it makes for great blog fodder. ;)

Galit Breen said...

I hear you, sister- laundry bad, Belle good! :)

{Love the photos! They're perfect!}

Michelle said...

Love your post! I feel like laundry wasn't too bad, then my kids hit high school and I don't know if it's because I am now washing adult sized laundry instead of little bitty toddler clothes, but my weekly laundry is actually better described as daily. And the unmatched socks...I'm positive all the socks I can't find are under their beds but I'm too worn out to check. And they are wearing socks, so something must be balancing out!

Anonymous said...

Now that we're all snorting, do you have a Kleenex?

Seriously though, this post is awesome. My very favorite part of the day is when my twins wake up from nap time. The grumpy screams, the crappy diapers, and the challenge of who to choose to get milk first. Oh, motherhood, we adore thee!