May 02, 2012

My Therapy

grief/grēf/
Noun:
1.Deep sorrow, esp. that caused by someone's death.

If I was a definition creator, I would define grief as "the biggest, largest bag of suckage ever".
But I'm not, so,  instead I will just continue grieving with deep sorrow and pain.
While I grieve the loss of my Daddy, I am trying my hardest to not completely lose my shit.
And it is here at my home that I am finding the most comfort in this entire "bag of suckage" that is my life.

Funny how that happens huh?
When my dad was sick, the only place he wanted to be was at home because it brought him comfort.
He felt safe.

And now, my therapy is at my home.
My therapy is being with my children.
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My therapy is watching my innocent children live their lives before totally understanding grief and how crippling it is.
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My therapy is being outdoors with my hair unkempt and my zits exposed for the bugs and critters to see.
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My therapy is listening to Studley snore because that means he is still breathing.
And it reminds me to breathe.
Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.
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My therapy is hanging out with these two.
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My therapy is planning my vegetable garden.
I just know that spending hours tending to my lettuce, carrots, peppers and tomatoes will calm me and ease my pain.
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My therapy is home.
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Just like it was for my Dad.
 








7 comments:

Foursons said...

I'm glad you have a place to go to for relief. I actually had to see a therapist to get through the grief. It was crippling.

Anonymous said...

OMG Who is the hotty in the rubber boots in the Barn door. You go girl!

Tanya said...

i'm so sorry for your loss....beautiful post....

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Children have a way of lifting the spirits. Hope you continue to find solace in the little things.

Pat said...

I'm very sorry for your loss. It's nice that you can find solace in the same way your father did.

Jan n Jer said...

Sorry for your loss! Life can really hurt sometimes! Glad you have found comfort in the simple things in life. Good post n photos too! Keep the faith!

Jenners said...

There is nothing like loss to help you appreciate all that you do have and how precious these moments are and our children are. Hold them close. Be in the moment and appreciate all that you still have with you. Hugs to you.