April 17, 2013

Stuff I did on the one year anniversary of my daddy entering Heaven.

I had an entire post planned for this day.
But then I got tired of reading my stuff because I am just so flippin depressing and I'm tired of being depressing and all "woe is me".

My dad entered Heaven 365 days ago.
I haven't heard his raspy giggle in one year.
And it effing sucks.

It will always suck.
I will forever hate April {except for the days my loved ones were born}.

Did you know that Columbine happened in April?
The Boston Marathon bombing?
Waco Siege?
Oklahoma bombing?


My therapist wanted me to do something special today to keep my mind off the everything.
So I ate a huge bowl of Froot Loops.
I went shopping.
Out for lunch with husband.
Even thought about getting drunk.
But, instead I took my dusty DSLR outside for the first time in over 3 weeks.
I figured, that on this day of losing a life, I would capture new life.

And I found lots of it.
Green grass.
Amen, hallelujah.
I am 99.9% sure my therapist wanted me to get a massage or a pedicure, or even just a new hair do.
But this day?
I consider making it through without doing the ugly cry, a very huge success.

Rurality Blog Hop #10


Gigi said...

This post made me smile through the tears. Sending you hugs. I think your therapist would approve.

Adrienne said...

I spent two hours with my camera today doing exactly the same thing. I think I have 200 bud photos. A few swans, and the beginning of a sunset. Had to do the same to begin my way out of the shock from what's happened here (Boston) this week. I hope you found a bit of comfort. Hugs.

Buttons said...

Oh I think you did the perfect thing. I too know what that day feels like and it has been almost six years you have described it perfectly.
Enjoy those little things and know that that will get you through. Nothing wrong with crying as the years go past I find I cry less progress I think. Take your time. HUGS B

Anonymous said...

Taking a walk and creating these gorgeous photos was a great thing to do for you and in memory of your Dad ~ Sending you lots of healing hugs. Great post for Rurality ^_^

amanda said...

I appreciate the honesty in this post.
I feel the same about April.
You are leaps & bounds ahead of us in the spring department!
What a spring.. it's snowing sideways today & feels like January.
I believe I saw that you are in Ontario.. We're in northern Minnesota, but have a cabin way up 500 miles north into Ontario, to the end of the road & "Ontario's northernmost frontier." By the looks of your photos, I'm guessing you're nowhere near there. :)
New life - good stuff. I'm waiting as patiently as I can for it.

bettyl said...

Lovely photos. I'm sure your dad would have loved them.