April 03, 2016

Dear Men. Im sorry. I still like you.

I had the flu during Easter.  Not just any flu.  The near death, shoot me now to put me out of my misery kind of flu.

I didn't know if I was going to survive to write another blog post.  
But I am still here.
And here is a blog post.

You're welcome.

Confession.  I have no idea what to write about.  

I mean, I could write about my adventures dating at 40 years old, but it might deter any of you from leaving your house.  Ever.

Its all good though, because I am learning about the opposite sex.  And it is entertaining.................

Most men do not know how to be on their own.  They need companionship. They need to feel wanted at all times.  They need attention.  Any kind of attention if you know what I mean.  If men are left alone, it gives them too much time to think.  Men thinking causes depression. When men are depressed, they look for attention so they don't have to think anymore.  When looking for attention, they grab on to anything they can and change who they are to keep that person around

Its a vicious cycle that someone needs to find a cure for.  Can someone invent a pill to give to men as soon as their relationship ends so they can not find a woman until they are normal human beings again?

Men at my age have baggage.  Some have just a carry on full of baggage.  Some have multiple, very large suitcases full of heavy baggage.  Some think they don't have any, but, I quickly learn that they need a storage unit for the amount of baggage that travels with them.  Fun times. I feel like a baggage investigator........

*How many kids do they have?  How many women have these kids?
*Are they recently out of a marriage?
*Is their separation amicable?
*Were they arrested recently...or ever?
*Are they close to their family?
*Do they have a job?  What kind of job? 
*Do they own a home/rent an apartment alone/live with mom and dad?  
*Does their ex have a new spouse?  Is he/she psychotic?
*Is this guy dating multiple women at once?
*Does he have friends?
*Does he get jealous easily?

I am the most non-judgmental, open minded human being you will ever know, but if I have to deal with excessive loads of baggage, I will run as fast as I can in the other direction.  

Dear Men.  Get your shit together before looking for a woman who has her shit together. 

OK, hang on.  

I am not saying I don't have baggage.  I do not trust easily and it will take a unique human being for me to completely trust again.   My self confidence could use some work.  The life I planned on living with the person I planned on living it with is no longer a possibility, so I have to climb back up and put myself on a pedestal.  Working on it.  

The difference is I know this.  I am not pretending to not have baggage.  I am not chasing men trying to find anyone I can "settle" with.  I am focusing on becoming happy alone.  If, after that, someone comes around and I want to add them to my already happy life, perfect.

In the meantime, Ill be a hermit and not leave my house.


Gigi said...

Very healthy, Vikki. A lot of women think they can't be happy alone.

P Mann said...

Amen! I always said to my friends if it didn't work out with my partner of 22 years I would be very happy with my friends, child and pets. The goal is to be happy and healthy first. Then welcome an equal partner into your's and the lives you share with others in your circle. For many it is a knee jerk response, must not be alone! Terrified, needy creatures... Wishing you happy days ahead. Yes it sucks going it alone but if you cultivate a great support group around you, you will thrive. But you already know this so you are well ahead of the trembling mass. Patty/NS

Suzie Que said...

Once you reach our age, baggage with anyone is almost a given! I was single (give or take a few stupid relationships here or there) until I was 35...and I didn't 'settle', either! Dating can be so discouraging but it can also be a LOT of fun. I wish you much luck in navigating this part of your journey. I have had many, many lonely weekends and dinners by myself in my life. The most I can say is that it made me a much more fearless person. Resist the urge to retreat if you have it. I found that people really LOVE bothering the woman in a restaurant eating alone. :)