Yo.

Dude, I am still alive.

Fo realz.

I am alive as in breathing alive, not climbing up a mountain singing "hallelujah" alive, but whatever.

Basically, I am existing.

Don't say "aw" and "you poor thing", because, honestly, I think existing is friggin awesome right now.

I have recently come to terms with the fact that my life as a mother is changing.

My children have all entered into different phases of their lives and now Mommy has to catch up and just deal with it.

They don't need me as much.

They don't like me very much.

In fact, there are many times they hate me.

And instead of doing the ugly cry in the corner, I am learning (slowly) to just suck it up.

But fuck it is hard.

To all of you peeps who have infants and toddlers, enjoy every second, because when they get to their tween years it is a whole new game.

Its a shitty game where the rules change constantly and you have to find a way to stay ahead of your independent, stubborn, smart opponents (aka your children) before they kick your ass.

Shes not a tween yet, but acts like one

While dealing with this new change, I am also realizing that I have lost myself.

My life has been lived for my babies over the last 12 years and now (at times) they hate me and...well....that's hard for me because theyaremylife.

In my mind I am thinking......

"I have done everything for them and they don't even appreciate it?

Have I screwed up as a parent because they still hate me after all I do for them?

Is it hormones?

Am I a wimp?

I need to get a life."

But then I hug and kiss them and tell them I love them anyways and pray to God that they grow up healthy and happy because their parents adore them

Its a never ending battle in my head, which is probably why I'm a mental mess.

So where does that leave blogging?

I mean, its rare that I can take a photo of my kids without them covering their faces or running the other way.

I could write about all the reasons they hate me today or what caused the fist fight at 7am, but that might get boring......or not.....

I could write about all of the pretty crafts I make and house redecorating I do, but.....hahahahahahahaha......it doesn't happen.

I have irritable bowel syndrome that makes eating anything other than applesauce a huge pain in my ass....literally.

Stay tuned.

Maybe soon I will write about shit my big kids are doing.

Or Ike and Duke the horses and Jersey the dog.

Or poop soup, because that's one of my favourite topics.

What's new with you?

Old School Blogging

Confession.
I'm lacking blog-writing motivation, so when I saw this, I jumped right on it.
For all of you newbies, blogging used to be all light and fluffy. There wasn't much talk about deep, thought provoking, therapeutic nonsense like there is now.
That is probably why I am unable to put together a post lately. Because I have nothing deep to talk about.
I have a dog that eats his own poop, a tween who hates me a lot of the time and live in weather too cold to even step outside my house.
So, unless you want me to cry on your shoulder, its best I just stay quiet.......until now.

Here goes.....

What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Dexter. Actually, it is the only thing hubby and I have watched for the last few months and I know, for sure, that we will both need a very high dosage of happy pills when we are finished.

Lets talk about how awesome that show is.

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
This morning to take out the recycling.
My boogers froze in 0.3 seconds. It is mid March and it is -20 something (Celsius).

Hold me.
I need warmth.

What is on the walls of the room you are in?
There are two sconces, a TV and a couple pictures.
Oh yeah, I cant forget the boogers. This kid likes to wipe her boogers on the walls.

One day I will think it is funny, right?

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Oh, man. The things I could do with the money.  I would probably buy a lakefront home and a new (non-minivan) vehicle.   Travel.   Buy a lifetime supply of animal crackers and Blistex.
I'm a simple person.
I don't need much.

Tell me something about you that most people don’t know.
I think I can finish word search puzzles faster than anyone else in the Universe. Its a special, unique talent of mine, and one day, maybe there will be a contest. It would be awesome if the prize was a few million dollars so I could buy the stuff above.

Who made the last incoming call on your phone? My Mama

If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?
I would have our basement finished.
Then I would hire a landscaper to design beautiful gardens around the property.
Then I would have a pool installed.
And have someone  finish the window coverings throughout the house.
Another reason I need $$$$$$$$

What was the last thing you bought?
Groceries. Because my children are bottomless pits.................

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
I vomited a bit in my mouth just thinking about both of them. I cant even handle the merry go round and swing rides at theme parks.

(Thanks Google Images)

If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?
This is a tough one. I would like to talk to my boyfriend, John Mayer and ask him why he is such a douchebag to all of those pretty gals. I would like to talk to the Dexter guy and convince him to bring the show back to TV. I would also like to talk to the Breaking Bad dude to tell him I miss him.
I'm such a dork.

Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
 Gap. It would be even better if I was a size or two smaller..........

Is the glass half empty or half full?
Sadly, I admit I am a glass half empty kinda gal. This needs to change. Or I need to up my happy pills.

What’s the farthest-away place you’ve been?
Geesh....I'm awful at geography. I am in Ontario, Canada.
I have been to Jamaica, Cuba, Las Vegas, British Columbia. Which place is the farthest?
"Farthest" is a weird word, isn't it? Say it a few times..........

What’s under your bed?
Dust and dog hair.
Don't judge.

What is your favorite time of the day?
The moment the kids get on the school bus and I get to eat my breakfast in peace.

What Inspires You?
This is a deep question which means I am unable to answer it at this time. Come back to me when I am inspired to write about it.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Peace out.
Word to your Motha.

Tidbits. Mostly me whining, but sometimes it is necessary.

* Yesterday was a PA Day. My kids fought all day.
* They also wanted me to watch them bounce balls, ride scooters, draw, colour,  buy them expensive shoes, dance, exercise and go sledding when all I wanted to do was go to bed.
* I am in the midst of the winter blues.
* Jersey the dog was a bad boy. We have to make some difficult decisions.
* I miss my Daddy.
* I sliced my finger with a knife the other day.
* And then again yesterday.
* A new cat or two has showed up in our barn. We think one might be Blackie who went missing over a year ago.
* And the other one looks like the baby daddy to the many kittens birthed in our barn.
* I purchased Project Life stuff so I can start a new beginning in how I "scrapbook" our memories.
* I think my happy pills need to be increased.
* Lets have a group hug. Tell me everything is going to be OK.


This a Duke the horse.
He enjoys rolling in the snow.
And eating.
And smelling Cindy the girl horse's bum.

Random Photos. Random Crap.

Howdy doody!
Guess what time it is?
Are you ready?
Hold on to your granny panties, because it is time for random crap.

EEP!
The excitement is too much for you to handle, isn't it?

This week has been pretty uneventful.
Hubby is still working non-human hours, so, it's just me and the kids....and Jersey the dog....and the horses.....and.....umm, you get the jist.

Last week I told you I was addicted to Breaking Bad, but I forgot to mention my other favourite show.
Catfish. OHMYGAWD, people. You must watch it.
Then you must question and be suspicious of anyone on the computer because they are probably not who you think they are.
I mean, for all you know I could be a 67 year old single man who lives in Tokyo.
It freaks my freak out to see how dumb people are.
They love people they have never met in person. They send these people money and naked photos.
Cuh-razy.


Dear Child of Mine
When I asked if your pregnant supply teacher was young, you told me no.  Then you said she was about my age.
Ouch.
Love Mom


This is what I want to do when my favourite song comes on.
Ok, I totally do that.

Oldest son is almost 12 and I am pretty sure that hormones are taking over his body.
This scares me.
This makes me want to run away for a few years.
I am thinking about starting a support group for parents of children going through puberty.
I will serve alcohol and bon bons.
Who is in?


There was a snake in my grandma's basement on Thanksgiving day.
I peed my pants a little when my brave Uncle brought it upstairs to show everyone.
Dear Grandma.
I love you, but I will never, ever go in your basement again.
Love Vikki


November is coming up soon.
Stuff happening in November.
My 13th wedding anniversary.
Trip to Disney.
Lung Cancer Awareness Month. Learn about it. Then we can talk about it, because it is an evil monster that needs to be cured.

My Daddy's tree.

I miss him.

Linking up with a few of my favourites
A Rural Journal
Cecily
and 

Random Photos. Random Words. And people without teeth.

I am thinking of turning this blog into some sort of random nonsense kinda place, because, well, that's all I write about.
This could mean a few things.
My life is so boring that I really have nothing to talk about.
Um...yeah....that's all I can think of.

So, lets chat about Breaking Bad.
Holymotherofgoodpeople this show is effing amazing.
I now know why everyone talked about it for years when I didn't have Netflix and was too cheap to spend $8/month.
It wasn't until all of the hype about the finale, that I finally convinced myself to get it, and now I cannot stop watching it.
I want to watch it all day.
I want my children to go to bed at 630pm so I can watch it.
I want it to come back for 20 more seasons please and thank you.


My boys recently won more awards at school because they are the best kids to ever walk this Earth.
I took my good camera with my awesome zoom lens and this is the photo I got.
Apparently I embarrass them or something.


My daughter has no top teeth.
OK, she has a few, but not many in the front.
Please send the Tooth Fairy some $$$ as she is broke.
And send the poor kid some pudding and jello because she cant chew anything.


P.S. Don't ever google "People with no top teeth". I am scarred for life.

Dear Ellen DeGeneres
When I told my children you were 55 years old, they were shocked.  They thought you were 27, because you don't have any wrinkles or gray hairs and you dress cool and dance alot.  I think this is a sign that you should invite us to your show and maybe even to your house for some dinner and a board game.


This weekend is Thanksgiving for us wonderful peeps up here in Canada.
I am thankful for Ritz crackers.
Redken hair products.
Comfy pants.
Pumpkin scented candles.
And all that other mushy stuff.


Happy weekend y'all!

Follow me on Instagram.
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Facebook I'm too lazy to link, so check out the sidebar.

hugsand smooches


Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

Stuff

I have owned my Nikon DSLR for a few years now and finally opened the Owners Manual on Tuesday.  I have come to the conclusion that I will never understand aperture, f-stop or depth of field.
And to be honest, I don't know if I want to because, then, I would put too much pressure on myself and freak out and do the ugly cry....over a photograph.
No thanks.
Stress sucks balls.

On another note, I discovered that the reason some of my photos weren't clear was because I had the VR {vibration reduction} turned off.  And, I also discovered the Movie mode.

Doh.

Anyways, that has nothing to do with this post.

Firstly, I took yearly photos of my beloved babies wearing their Daddy's shirt and Mommy's apron.

They are good looking peeps, aren't they?
All was going superbly until Jersey the dog wanted in on the photo session.

He knows how to make it memorable.

Secondly, husband and I have had many difficult discussions this week about life, money, family....and the possibility of a big move out west.
No final decisions yet, but I am one step closer to a nervous breakdown thank you very much.
Pass the booze.

Thirdly, this picture of my toothless 5 year old.
Best. Ever.
Tell me you didn't smile....or giggle......


Fourthly, today, during the school assembly,  I had that moment.
That moment when I realized this is the last year I will ever have a child in Kindergarten. *sniff*

Fifthly, we have major construction on our country road.
My boys are loving the mud and dirt and machinery and mud and mud and mud.


Sixthly, Barbara Walters needs to retire....yesterday.

And, last, but certainly not least.
This video about poop.
You're welcome.

Happy weekend y'all.

 

A Hello with some Randmness Thrown In

Last week I sent my three babies off to school in their brand new clothes, with new backpacks that don't yet smell like stinky feet and months old milk.
I kissed one goodbye.
Waved goodbye to one.
Said "See Ya" to another.
And "I love you" to all three.

Then I turned around and walked to my mini van.....alone.
Wondering how the heck summer is over already
Wondering why my babies have to grow up so fast.
Wishing summer would last just a little while longer.

Grade 6.  Grade 4.  Senior Kindergarten.
Hold me.

 

I took most of the summer away from my blog.

Mostly because I was playing Candy Crush on the ipad and scanning Pinterest for clothing I will never buy.

Whatever.

 

Oh, and there was Duck Dynasty....

...and Honey Boo Boo.....

....and weekends away....

and Jersey the dog who takes up more time than my infant children ever did.

 

Hmph.

 

Anyways, I have to get back into the swing of things, so lets start with some randomness, shall we?

 

* Dear Miley Cyrus.

Where are your parents?

 

* Jersey the dog is allergic to poultry.

Do you know how many brands of dog food have chicken/turkey/byproduct crap in them?

Alot.

But, luckily we found {an expensive} one that is 80% seafood and 20% fruits and vegetables.

Thank gawwwwwd, because if I had to store raw fish in my freezer, I would have moved out.

 

* True story.

I neglected the garden all summer.

So badly that the weeds grew taller than me.

And when the weeds got so tall, I was terrified to walk in it because I was convinced a snake was going to attack me.

 

*  Can we discuss this video and how perfectly, awesomely amazeballs it is?

I mean, really.
A cat in a shark suit.
On a roomba.
Following a duck.
There is nothing better.

I have a roomba.

My new goal in life is to dress Jersey the dog in a chicken/turkey costume and get him on the roomba. 
If it will hold 75 pounds.

*  Good looking couple alert.
Wowsers.

Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg.

* I officially declare this summer, The Summer I Wore Skinny Jeans.  Thats right.  I bit the bullet and squished my squishiness into skinny jeans without caring what others thought.   I am 38 years old and have birthed three large babies, damn it.  So what if I have some squish. 

* Dear Me.  Go to the gym.

* The Toronto International Film Festival is happening right this second.  Julia Roberts.  Matthew
McConaughey.  Brad Pitt.  Jennifer Garner.  Sandra Bullock.  They are all here.  I am 30 minutes away and have thought about driving there with my zoom lens.

But then I remember I can see them on TV or in People magazine anytime without the thousands of other humans pushing their way through with their zoom lenses.

Did you miss me?

Here for a good time.....not a long time.....

Sooooo.....things are still busy.
Like so busy I go the whole day without peeing.
So busy my garden looks like a weed garden.
This past weekend was the boys lacrosse championship weekend and we watched 8 games. 8 GAMES in a hot arena with sweaty tweens and waytoocompetitive parents.
Then there was soccer and dog training, a sick kid, the final week of school and a huge award for one of my kids.

I have so much to tell you.....when I have more time.

For now, lets share in some random crap.  I enjoy random crap.

1. Last year we brought a large piece of driftwood home from my family's lake shore property and plopped it into a large planter/garden thingy in front of our garage. This year, these beautiful violets have grown in front of it. We didn't plant them. This makes me happy.

True story. These are the healthiest flowers currently growing on our property. The other flowers I did plant.
Whatever.


2. Ike the horse did this. He is trouble.


3. My newest niece was born on June 20. She is perfection. It makes me very emotional just thinking about this little beauty because my little brother is a daddy. The kid who used to eat all of the cookies and steal the remote control from me now has a daughter. My brother is a daddy and his daddy isn't here to witness it.
Or maybe he can see everything and we just have to make sure his newest grandchild knows all about him. *sniff*


4. Jersey the dog might be starting a raw diet soon. Who would have thunk we would end up feeding our dominant/high prey drive/brilliantyetsobad dog raw chicken parts??!!!!!
Dear Jersey. Don't attack little animals, but go ahead and eat this raw animal meat.


5. These two offspring of mine fight constantly. It boggles my mind how two people who share very similar personalities can fight one minute and then play together the next like nothing happened.
This is them kicking grass because apparently that is fun to them.

Only 9 weeks until school starts............   *Prize for the person who knows who sings the song of the title of this post

Oh, hi. Remember Me????

Where do I start?
Ummm.....
....the last three weeks have been busy.

So busy, that I am actually looking forward to life slowing down.
To sitting....
...inhaling.....
...pausing.

What have I been up to?
Well.......

planning and hosting {with my Mommy} a baby shower for my sister in law.
Lessons learned...
it's alot of friggin work
and stress.
Pinterest is my best friend.


a girls-only weekend that took me out of my comfort zone and into moments I haven't experienced in years. 
It was nothing wild and crazy, but I was with girlfriends I have known for almost 30 years.
Girlfriends I drifted away from as we grew and discovered ourselves, and then recently reconnected with.
It felt weird.
And, oh so right.


a trip to Alberta.
Banff/Lake Louise/Calgary to be more specific.
Now added to my Bucket List........
visit every province in my beautiful country.
Holy balls, it was beautiful.


taking care of a dog.
A dog who licked his butt hole until it looked like hamburger meat.
A dog with an ear infection.
A dog who has a food allergy, and now has to eat Veterinarian-prescribed food at $127 a bag.


watching my children play soccer, lacrosse, gymnastics and love every second of swimming lessons.
Life is good.
So good that I want it to slow down so my babies stay young forever.




Bring on summer.