That moment when I had a moment

Oh, Hi.
Remember me?  I'm the gal who started this ol' blog with the intent of documenting the moments in my family's lives, venting about those memorable moments and, well, crap..........life has just gotten in the way.

Is blogging a dying breed?
Are people just using facebook/instagram/twitter now?  Fill me in so I can keep up with the cool peeps.

Today as I sat here on the computer registering my kids for summer camp, something led me back here.  Maybe that means I am not ready to close this thing down.  Maybe I still have stuff to say.

Deep thoughts.......
Random thoughts.....

Who knows?

First lets talk about me.
HA
God, I am funny.

I have a freckle/mole thing on my body that I had to get checked out.
P.S.  Whenever I say "mole" I think of this scene.

On the way to see my doc I had a moment.
A moment that made me think about how things can change in a second.
I mean, if this "moley moley moley" turns out to be something not so great, my life will change instantly.  If it's nothing, that's frickin awesome, but I need to smarten my ass up. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff all of the time.

I mean, holy crap.  I am 39 years old.  My children are healthy, happy and thriving.  They are growing more independent by the day and before I know it, they will be packing their bags and heading out into the real world.

I need to snap out of my "holyshitmykidsarelazy" mood and breathe in this time.

That was my moment.

And then I came home and Febreze-d their stinky shoes without cursing once.

Random

Word up, peeps.
Its Friday and you know what that means?
Random nonsense.
My favourite kind of stuff because then I don't have to get all creative and make collage thingies that no one sees.
Geesh, I didn't think it was that bad.

Anyways, I am still thawing out after our week of -30 temperatures and snow dumps.
You know its bad when Jersey the dog doesn't even try to run away.
And its really bad when he pisses on the deck because he cant stand the thought of venturing out into deep snow.
Jerk.

So, lets get at it, shall we?
*I recently purchased a hair straightener iron thingy, but am too scared to use it, because I think this might happen.


*I have grieved the end of Breaking Bad and am now addicted to Dexter. The sister annoys me and is too skinny, but I enjoy the weirdness of Dexter. I also like that he kills bad people.

*Dear Courtney Cox. What happened to your face?

 

*Our heating bill was over $1000 this month.  So, we have been trying to warm the house with our wood burning fireplace to cut back on the cost.  I have been starting fires all week with paper and kindling.  Then yesterday I found hubby's fire starter logs. 

Now that I know I am a Girl Scout, my next goal is to build a shelter out of palm leaves and coconuts.

 

*This is my daughter.  She is obsessed with the movie "Frozen" and watches YouTube constantly.  Apparently she learned the words.......

 

Stuff

I have owned my Nikon DSLR for a few years now and finally opened the Owners Manual on Tuesday.  I have come to the conclusion that I will never understand aperture, f-stop or depth of field.
And to be honest, I don't know if I want to because, then, I would put too much pressure on myself and freak out and do the ugly cry....over a photograph.
No thanks.
Stress sucks balls.

On another note, I discovered that the reason some of my photos weren't clear was because I had the VR {vibration reduction} turned off.  And, I also discovered the Movie mode.

Doh.

Anyways, that has nothing to do with this post.

Firstly, I took yearly photos of my beloved babies wearing their Daddy's shirt and Mommy's apron.

They are good looking peeps, aren't they?
All was going superbly until Jersey the dog wanted in on the photo session.

He knows how to make it memorable.

Secondly, husband and I have had many difficult discussions this week about life, money, family....and the possibility of a big move out west.
No final decisions yet, but I am one step closer to a nervous breakdown thank you very much.
Pass the booze.

Thirdly, this picture of my toothless 5 year old.
Best. Ever.
Tell me you didn't smile....or giggle......


Fourthly, today, during the school assembly,  I had that moment.
That moment when I realized this is the last year I will ever have a child in Kindergarten. *sniff*

Fifthly, we have major construction on our country road.
My boys are loving the mud and dirt and machinery and mud and mud and mud.


Sixthly, Barbara Walters needs to retire....yesterday.

And, last, but certainly not least.
This video about poop.
You're welcome.

Happy weekend y'all.

 

Oh, hi.

Currently I am sitting here looking outside my front windows, which just a few weeks ago was a beautiful view of farmers fields.
Now, my view is loaders, excavators, bulldozers, dump trucks and porta pottys.

This makes me very sad.
Life as my family knows it will never be the same when the construction here is finished.
*sniff

So, lets talk random stuff to make me feel better, k?
I enjoy random nonsense.
I enjoy nonsense, actually.

But, anyways..............

--Yesterday I noticed that I have two major wrinkles between my eyebrows.  This tells me a few things.

1.  I am old.
2.  I obviously use my "angry face" alot.

--I got stung the other day.  I cursed and yelled at the jerk who stung me as if it was a human being who just stole my purse.

I probably used my angry face, too.

--30 seconds after getting stung, as I was walking into the house, there was a snake sunning itself on the doormat.

I shrieked.
And probably used my angry face.

--My daughter hates chocolate.  I am starting to wonder if maybe she isn't mine.

--My current favourite song thanks to Ellen Degeneres who showed it yesterday.

Like, seriously.
I cannot stop watching the video, and singing along.....
....and saying "ring ding ding ding deding" in my highest voice.

Nonsense is fun.

Happy Random Friday, peeps!

I like saying the word nifty.

Blow Me.
I don't use the phrase often, but think that should change immediately just because it is so funny and ridiculous.
And if Pink sounds cool singing it, then I should probably sound a tad nifty saying it.

"Hi Vikki. How are you?"
"Blow me"

"Hey Vikki, you look mighty fantabulous today in those comfy pants and that ripped sweatshirt."
"Blow me"

"Your dog is hurt again?"
"Blow me"

"Isn't it wonderful walking through the mall making your way through the Christmas season crowds?"
"Blow me"

"Don't you love it when you order three items online and only 2 get shipped?"
"Blow me"

"Mom, I need new indoor shoes.
I lost my gloves.
My snow pants are too small.
I hate this dinner.
It's 9pm and I have homework."
"Blow me"

I feel so much better now.

Lung Cancer Bites

Brace yourselves.
Here we go again.

Remember?
It is Lung Cancer Awareness Month.
I am going to keep talking about it until everyone knows all about it...
...how it affects those who love the people who get the horrible, horrible disease...
...how it completely, totally sucks ass.

Excuse my language.

My children, in their young, short lives have experienced loss more than most adults four times their age.  We have had the "Doctors couldn't make him better" discussion so often that they can now predict exactly what will be said.
They seem to understand death, heaven and angels, but it doesn't make the pain any less...ummm...painful.

So I had this idea.
I would get my kids to talk about it.
I wanted their own words.
I wanted to see if I could talk about it without getting all verklempt.  And, as you can see from these videos, we are all dealing with this grief crap very differently.....

....humour......


....and complete sadness with some anger added in....


And then there is me who still imagines her Daddy's voice....his smell....his raspy laugh and sometimes "speak before you think" humour. There is me who still thinks he is away and will be back for Christmas.
I call it denial.
It's working for me so far.

Don't smoke please.
Don't allow smoking in your house.
Inform everyone you know that lung cancer is a monster who takes away the best people ever from their young grandchildren.   My apologies for the depressing stuff lately.....just trying to get the message across. Group hug. Smooches.

Fifty Shades of Husband and Jersey the Dog. Totally doesnt make any sense, but made me giggle.

 My husband pretends to not be an animal lover, but he is not a very good pretender.
He is not a cat person and tells me everyday as they sleep on our porch, climb our trees and poop in our flower gardens.
He would be totally OK if they disappeared, but I didn't tell you that.

Speaking of the MC {many cats}.
They have decided that it is very enjoyable to jump in the vehicle anytime we open the door{s}.
The other day I drove down the street only to discover two felines sitting in the seat behind me ready to go for a journey.
I thought about driving to the local pet store, dropping them off and taking off like some sort of bad-ass criminal....but I didn't.
Because I love cats.
Ahem.

Anyways, back to the husband.
If I gave him an ultimatum to choose between Jersey the dog and me, I am sure he would choose the dog.
I took Princess to dance class the other evening and came home to a beeping answering machine.
This is what was on it.


*FYI...when referring to "the Colonel", he means Kentucky Fried Chicken.*I promise.  No more dog posts for awhile.

Crap I Have Learned Recently

*sometimes it is OK to remember the days before I was a parent. And miss them.
*rabbits can run really fast when a black cat named Blackie is chasing them
*cats can run really fast just a few days after giving birth
*it is possible to sleep without sleeping pills after relying on them for 2 years.  Imagine that.
*Finding Nemo is still an amazing movie to see at the theatre
*Ike the horse enjoys pissing in his stall, when I am in it with him
*horse urine does not make your skin softer
*sweaty camel toes at the gym make me vomit a little in my mouth
*my daughter wants to be a rock star

*and so do my boys

*my family thinks the toilet paper rolls magically replace themselves
*explaining breastfeeding to a four year old is difficult
*watching hours and hours of Intervention never gets boring
*and Dirty Jobs
*purchasing Halloween candy 1.5 months early is not smart when trying to lose weight
*it is very hard for me to keep my mouth shut when witnessing a fellow gym "lady" smoking after just working out minutes before *writers block is hard when wanting to write

........to be continued...........

Sometimes photos can be misleading. Especially when they feature my children.

I bet when you look at these photos, you think...
calm...

quiet...

peaceful...

tranquil...

serene...

But I am going to ruin it for you and show you this.
{skip to 0.30 seconds}

You're welcome.

Equine Bug Spray

I don't know about where you live, but the bugs up here in the Far North are bad in the summer.
Just ask Ike and Duke who almost kick the barn door open when we are bringing them inside for the afternoon.
I don't blame them.
Bugs are jerks.

I know, if they could talk, they would tell me how much they appreciate it when I bring them inside away from the jerks {bugs}.
But they are too busy pushing me out of the way so they can get in their stalls under the ceiling fans.
Ike and Duke enjoy ceiling fans blowing cool air on their tushies.

And so do I.
But that's not what this post is about.

This is a helpful post.
One where I share my knowledge of all things rural, because I am now a country girl surrounded by bugs, rodents, snakes and big huge horses.
Go ahead. Be jealous of the life I live in rubber boots and aprons.
Be jealous of the variety of scents I get to inhale every day.
Be jealous of my rural knowledge.*cough*

OK, my hubby is the expert.
I am just here trying to survive through it all.
And pretend I actually know what the hell I am doing, when, in reality I don't have a friggin clue.

Dear Therapist. I live in the country, but really don't know how to survive. I just pretend and hope that I don't get eaten by coyotes. Love Momma.

Anyways.....I digress....as usual.

This helpful post is about bug spray.
Bug spray for horses, actually.Up until now, it has been my hubby's secret recipe.
But now after some pleading, he has agreed to share it with the world.Even though he will not receive any sort of compensation.Except "thanks dear"."Youre the best, dear."
Anyways.....this bug spray helps  when we remember to use it....
{"we" means "I", but who cares}

1 part vinegar
1 part mouthwash (we use Scope)
1 part Skin So Soft bath oil (Avon sells it)
1 part water
Pour each into a spray bottle and shake well.

Sing this song while you re doing it


Then spray on to the horses.
They will love you forever.
And will smell good too.
Thanks to my husband.

A tour of my mudroom/foyer thingy. My children. And poop. All in one post.

Wassup Dawgs??!!
That's me pretending to be cool, but it really sounded horrible right?

This week, Kelly is showcasing foyers and because I like to be unique, I am interpreting "foyer" as "mud room".
They are the same thing right?

Anyways, here is a very quick tour that I give you myself with alot of "um"s, "whatever"s and "I don't know"s thrown in just for shits and giggles.

I used to dream about being a journalist on the local news, but now I am convinced that I would have gotten fired after saying "um" 17392759834678942679 times in the first 2 minutes.
Apparently I am not all that great at public speaking.
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I knew that in Grade 5 when I had to present a science project with my best friend on hamster mazes and I nearly pooped my pants.
And then when I did a speech on Cancer and almost vomited all over the chalkboard.
And the time I sang oTannenbaum in front of the school during the Christmas concert and had to clench my bum cheeks to hold in the poop soup.
Did I just say that?

Where was I?
Oh yeah....the tour......



Annnnnd.....on a completely unrelated note.
I tried to take photos of my children all dressed up the other day because it doesn't happen very often.
This is what I got.
I would say they provide an accurate depiction of my children's personalities, and how they feel about having their photo taken.


They are still freakishly good looking, even with a mouthful of food, tongue hanging out and while cleaning horse crap out of their shoes.
These beautiful creatures entered the world from my womanly parts.
It amazes me every single day.

To see more foyers, check out Kelly's link up here.
For more photostory stuff, go see the worlds bestest photographer here.


Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

A Conversation with my 4 Year Old

"Tomorrow you have an appointment at the dentist."
"Why?"
"So she can clean your teeth and make sure you dont have any cavities."
"Why?"
"Because that is what dentists do."
"Why?"
"Because the stars are in the sky."
"Huh?"

"I wish I had a pretty pink dress like you, Princess"
"Why?"
"Because I like pink."
"Why?"
"Because pickles are green."
"Huh?"

"Mom, can you play Play Doh wif me?"
"Sure, as soon as I am finished folding laundry."
"Why?"
"Because it needs to be folded so I can put the wet clothes in the dryer."
"Why?"
"Because flowers are pretty."
"Huh?"

Does anyone else want to scream after these conversations?
Do you think it is fun to give answers that make absolutely no sense?
Am I a horrible parent?
I thought so.
Maybe I should teach her the correct words to this song.....but I love to hear her make up her own.
I am going to Hell.


Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

I Vlogged!!!!!!!!!!!! About my closet!!!!!!!!

Only my sister in law can convince me to vlog.
Once upon a time, I swore I would never do it, but for her, no problem.
Except I am not on camera.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Yes, I am a Nervous Nelly.
A Shy Sally.
Don't judge.
It isn't easy being all Oprah-like on camera, especially when you arent making a gazillion dollars.

So, here it is.
A tour of my closet.
You can now sleep better at night knowing where Momma gets dressed....and Mr. Momma.
You can also be thankful that you have much more fashion sense than me.
If sweatshirts and jeans were the hottest trend out there, everyone would want to be just like me.

But, they aren't, so I will just continue living my life out of style.
Until I win a gazillion dollars so I can afford a stylist, like Oprah.
But I guess I would have to be on camera like Oprah too......
No thanks.


And just for fun, I have given you a video of Princess' closet.
Don't judge the messy.

Mom

{Brace yourselves....this is gonna be mushy}
There are not enough words to describe how I feel about my Momma.

I have been sitting here trying to find the perfect way to talk about her on this special day, but...... I am having a hard time putting it all out there because of what our family has experienced over the last little while.
Her love and devotion for my Daddy as he went through a horrific time over the last year.
Her bravery as she fought every single day to get him healthy again.
Her commitment towards, not only her immediate family, but also towards her friends and acquaintances even when she was experiencing the toughest time of her life.

I am positive there is no woman stronger...
...braver...
...full of more love...
...devotion.

She is my Hero.

My new goal in this short, fragile life is to live with as much authenticity and bravery as my Mom.

And I fear that it is unachievable.
But I will try.

Even as our family travels this journey without my Daddy, I know my Mommy will make it through it all just fine.
Because she is strong...
...brave...
perfect in every way.




For my Mommy......

{Told ya.  Totally mushy.} Happy Mothers Day!!!!

A True Story.

I was remembering a time I was at a house party thrown by someone I had never met, but he knew who I was there with, so it was totally ok. I think. Anyways, I was remembering a bunch of us went out for a fancy dinner before going to the party and I had a baked potato with sour cream.

Except I think the sour cream had been sitting in a warm room for approximately 6 months before they served it to well paying stupid people like me.

Fast forward a few hours later as we sat at this party.
The rumbly in my tumbly began and I just ignored it hoping that it would just go away.
It didnt.
I waddled my way to the bathroom hoping I didnt poop my pants on the way and found about 7 people waiting in line.
CHATUGSVXHJVHNVHYDFYUFDGUJBJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever pooped your pants as an adult?
I wasthisclose until I completely ran in as soon as the door opened and before anyone could stop me.

It was kinda like this scene.
Except the toilet flushed {Thank goodness}.
And there were 7 very angry people standing there when I opened the door.

True story.
It was horrifying at the time.
Now.....frickin hilarious.

Watching this clip is what brought me to a full on belly laugh after 3 weeks of sadness.
Thank you Dumb and Dumber.

Lets discuss.
Share your poop soup stories so I can laugh some more.
Please.
And thank you.


*Psst...tomorrow I am doing a Random Tuesday post. Get yours together and you can link up with me here.

Randomness

Hi.
Prepare yourselves.
I am PMSing big time.
You might want to sit down.

*I am frustrated. Frustrated at myself for being frustrated because I said I wouldn't be this way. I started this blog as a way to document our lives. As a way to express myself through words and photos. But I feel like I am currently stale. My readership isn't growing and I find myself getting upset about this.

Frustrating.

I enjoy comments. I enjoy knowing that people love or hate my stuff. Criticism or appreciation. I just need to know that it is all being read or I might just go private.

Bitchy of me? Maybe.
Remember, I am PMSing........

Lets move on.

*A conversation with my daughter.
"Mom,I have to go poo again"
"Oh no, do you have an upset tummy?"
"No. I have an upset bum."

*Random pic of daughter and I coming out of a poo-smelling Porta-potty, just because we are talking about bums and poop.

You're welcome.
*Speaking of poop, oldest child recently said his speech in front of his class.  $10 to the person who guesses the topic....or maybe just a shoutout on the blog.  I had an upset tummy all day because it totally brought me back to my childhood speech days.
I hated standing in front of the class.
My husband, on the other hand, always won speech competitions.
Jerk.


*Middle child was sick with anxiety and stress for 2 weeks leading up to a math test.
Test results.....second highest mark in class.

*Heard this song recently.
I remembered every single word and sang along to it just like I did as a teen.
Rock on.


Then I felt the need to hear this song.
I still love it.
You should too.


And this one.
Party on Dude.


*I have been exercising more.  Even running.
Every muscle/tissue/ligament/bone in my body hurts.
I'm old.

*When I go the gym,I always choose locker #69.
Lets discuss this weird behaviour of mine.

*Random picture of Smokey the barn cat just because I enjoy her.


That's it.
That's all.That's all I've got