A tour of my mudroom/foyer thingy. My children. And poop. All in one post.

Wassup Dawgs??!!
That's me pretending to be cool, but it really sounded horrible right?

This week, Kelly is showcasing foyers and because I like to be unique, I am interpreting "foyer" as "mud room".
They are the same thing right?

Anyways, here is a very quick tour that I give you myself with alot of "um"s, "whatever"s and "I don't know"s thrown in just for shits and giggles.

I used to dream about being a journalist on the local news, but now I am convinced that I would have gotten fired after saying "um" 17392759834678942679 times in the first 2 minutes.
Apparently I am not all that great at public speaking.
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I knew that in Grade 5 when I had to present a science project with my best friend on hamster mazes and I nearly pooped my pants.
And then when I did a speech on Cancer and almost vomited all over the chalkboard.
And the time I sang oTannenbaum in front of the school during the Christmas concert and had to clench my bum cheeks to hold in the poop soup.
Did I just say that?

Where was I?
Oh yeah....the tour......



Annnnnd.....on a completely unrelated note.
I tried to take photos of my children all dressed up the other day because it doesn't happen very often.
This is what I got.
I would say they provide an accurate depiction of my children's personalities, and how they feel about having their photo taken.


They are still freakishly good looking, even with a mouthful of food, tongue hanging out and while cleaning horse crap out of their shoes.
These beautiful creatures entered the world from my womanly parts.
It amazes me every single day.

To see more foyers, check out Kelly's link up here.
For more photostory stuff, go see the worlds bestest photographer here.


Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

This list might make me look like a weirdo, but I am not. Unless you count that time I wore two different shoes to the salon.

Confession time.
I don't read very much.

But I like to read.

Especially People magazine, because holding on to worthless information about Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan is about all my brain can take right now.

But...

I went to Cuba recently and had an entire week without television and Internet...and children to interrupt me.  I met up with the lawn chair and beach every day to read this book.

Columbine. 

I know what you're thinking.
Why on earth would you read such a horrific story while lying on the beach? 
Well, I will tell you.
Because true stories intrigue me.  Human behaviour intrigues me.
That's why.

I finished the book that week and loved every single page.  I highly recommend it.  If you are interested in learning about human behaviour and why sick people do unthinkable things, that is. If not, then that is A-OK with me.

At this very moment I am in the middle of this book.  Written by a fellow blogger {who experienced the tragic loss of his wife just one day after she gave birth to their daughter}, who I stalk daily, this book is touching, tragic, uplifting and I am loving every single word.
I am not just saying that because I stalk him.
But, like I said, I am intrigued by true stories and..well...I feel like I know him.
This book is his story about the loss of his wife and dealing with his grief while raising their daughter Maddy.

Read it.  Now.  Have tissues handy.  And then hug your spouse and kids.

*Books on my READ SOON list

Stiff.  Because this stuff fascinates me.  And I like the title. 

A New Kind of Monster.  Because I am fascinated by big wig military psychopathic serial killers who think they are above the law.  And I want to know how this sicko thought he could get away with it all.
Because looking at his face gives me the heebie jeebies and the fact that no one knew about his secret life just..well....I just dont get it.
Doesn't he scare you?


The Story of Edgar Sawtelle


Cinderella Ate My Daughter
My three old daughter is obsessed with princesses, high heel shoes, pwetty dresses and makeup.  She has two older brothers and a mother who lives in jeans, sweatshirts and running shoes.
Human behaviour.
Fascinating.

The Horse Boy


And just for fun and pure entertainment, I will definitely be reading this book when it is released in two years. I like to plan ahead.
Roses and Thorns


Check out what others are reading here. *I'm posting this early so check the link on Friday or just go say hi to Kelly and congratulate her on her new baby Hollis. k thanks bye

Mothers Day Gift Ideas Courtesy of Moi.

Mothers Day is coming up.
I am a Mother.
Many of the wonderful, spectacular, fantabulous humans who read this blog are Mothers.
So, I am going to be all nice and do some shopping for you.
Without actually purchasing the stuff.

And after reading this, all of you can get out your credit cards, click on the links below and purchase at least one of these fabulous items for me your Mother.

If I your Mother had one of these machines, she could pretty much create anything.  Vinyl cutouts and labels, tshirt decals, scrap booking layouts.  The possibilities are endless which makes the high price totally worth it.
And Mothers deserve something that is worth alot of $$$$ because they spend their lives cleaning up poop, vacuuming crumbs, preparing meals, chauffeuring the kidlets to endless programs, clipping toenails, refereeing fights.
You get the gist.

Silhouette

What Mother doesn't love jewellery?  And better yet, you can purchase it with their children's names/birthstones or any other meaningful saying.
I want one.
I mean..umm....it is the perfect gift.

Vintage Pearl

Camera bags are my newest obsession.  And when they are stylish, it makes me feel all tingly inside.
Just sayin'.
So if you bought me the Mothers in your life an Epiphanie bag, I know you might...OK definitely would make their day perfect.
Add in a sappy card and you are in the Will for sure.

Sorry, this picture sucks. Go to the website and tell them Momma sent you.  When they ask who Momma is, tell them that I am their biggest fan and they should send me a bag because I tell everyone I know about them.  Please and thank you.
Epiphanie

If we didn't have to purchase groceries and clothing for our children, this would be my number one splurge.
As well as every other item in this post.
But anyways, I am hoping to get into photography more and every picture I see edited using this program is a beauty.
I just wish you could bring an expert home to teach you how to use it!
So buy this for a Mother who loves taking pictures.  And throw in a class that teaches the program.

Lightroom

Add in a fancy shmancy camera strap for their fancy shmancy DSLR and you might just be their favourite person in the Universe.
But I am sure you already are.
This would just solidify the relationship.

Camera Strap

Other great gift ideas for the Mothers in your life
An endless supply of chocolate and pretty flowers
A magic potion to make cellulite disappear
A private dance lesson with Maksim
Or just hugs, kisses and unconditional love because that is what she wants the most.
A "Thank You for all of the work you do to make my life better" would be nice too.And World Peace.That isnt too much to ask for is it?????

Happy Shopping!

Go here to see MANY more gift ideas for the Mothers and Fathers in your life!

Fall Decor and a Confession

I will confess.
I am not a big fall decorator.
Christmas, yes. Fall, not so much.
But I will show what I do anyways.
Don't laugh.
Don't judge.
I am still a good person.

Anything my children make is displayed in some way. Just like these fall candles. And yes, we have lit them many times at the dinner table and nothing has blown up so I would say their craft was a huge success.

Orange balls and gourds. My children picked out the gourds so they are funny shaped and "warty" looking but that's ok. I am not picky.
Fall leaves and gourds. I buy the cheap fall leaves on sticks and just "stick" them throughout the house. Don't laugh.
Pumpkins scattered throughout my family room. I couldn't resist them and the price was reasonable.
Fireplace mantle. Two bunches of orange flowers with orange ribbon. Scattered gourds and leaves on sticks.
Closeup on the mantle.
More balls. I like balls. Hmph.

Wreath on the door. I was too cheap to buy one so I made my own. Just call me Martha.
Our many pumpkins outside at the door. Behind them is a huge planter with burgundy mums but they are starting to look...well....not so good.
There you have it my friends. That is the extent of my fall decorating. Stay tuned for Christmas.......

Go here to see much better fall decorating ideas than mine.

Baby Gear Must Haves and Don't Needs

After carrying and birthing three children, I consider myself a Goddess.
After raising three bratty monsters and still having a bit of my sanity left, I consider myself a Saint.

I admit that while pregnant and anxiously awaiting the arrival of my angels, I got somewhat carried away in all of the baby sections at the stores.
Magazines tell you what you must have so they must be right.
Television shows have some cool stuff so I ahd to have it all.
My children would not be deprived of any baby gear.

Well.....

I have learned alot.

Alot of the "stuff" did not get used by us. Sure, everyone is different but I will just let you in on what we liked...and didnt like.

In no particular order, and thanks to Yahoo Images, here we go. Strap into your high tech computer chair and read away.

Fisher Price Aquarium was used by all three children. Each one loved it! I, myself do not enjoy changing the batteries so it has hung on Princess' crib for months not able to work.

Why buy a high chair that takes up space when you can strap one of these on your chair and include your child at the dinner table? It is also easy to clean and easy to travel with.
I admit it. I fell into the baby-wearing phase for my third child and bought three carriers. One like this and two sling "things". I used them about 3 times.
Pack and Play. Best baby item EVER!
Playmat. These got me through the first few months. Really. Plop your baby down and they are entertained for a few minutes while you get dinner ready.
Bouncy chairs. Ok, this may be the best baby invention ever. All three of my kids spent hours and hours in these.
Bassinet. Waste of money. None of my kids would dare sleep in it.
Sleep positioner. Never used it. But I spent $20 on one that had cutesy designs on it.
Boppy. I never used it for breastfeeding. But I did use it to prop them up under their playmat.
Drumroll please.......

ba dum dum dum......

Are you ready for my favourite thing for new moms? It is a must have and I might even buy some when they are cheaper..........

SPANX!

Now go on over and see Kelly for more baby gear must haves and dont needs.

School Sucks

I have to admit that I did not enjoy school. I did well academically but I just didn't enjoy the social part of it. I was a shy kid. Not snobby...just shy.

I cant believe I am actually showing pictures of myself as a kid.

Someone better pay me some $$$$ for this.

Or send some chocolate.

Because this is something I swore I would never do.

It is one thing to post funny embarrassing pictures of my kids, but when it comes to myself, nope, no way. I just don't do it.

Until now.



Hold the laughter until you are finished please.



This is me. Grade 1. Approximately 28 years ago. *gasp* I remember this dress. It had a velvety texture on the outside and felt a little bit like sandpaper on the inside. But I thought it was fashionable so went uncomfortable just to look good.



Shall we look at those teeth? Yikes! I don't even know what to say except "thank you" to the Good Man above for fixing them as I got older. Geesh.

This is me. Grade 2. The teeth were improving. But my fashion taste....umm....not so much. I remember this outfit as well. What does that say about me for remembering my outfits from 27-28 years ago?? I cannot remember people I met in the last 10 minutes but I remember a tacky plaid outfit from 1983. Hmmm......... Grade 4. Yes, I remember this outfit. It was a dress. Tshirt material. I wore white nylons and black slip on shoes with it. One day that look will come back and I can say I started the trend.

Take a look at the teeth and say a big "Phew" with me.

"Phew"

Grade 6. I loved this hairstyle! I would feather my hair at the side and spray it so it would stay like that for the whole day. It never stayed. And my outfit. A pink buttoned shirt with funky pink belt and black leggings. Yes. I was cool.
Now lets take a look at this picture.

What isn't wrong with my outfit??

Oh, Dear Lord, I need to sit down. My hair is a disaster. A turtleneck under a "busy" sweater. An acid wash denim skirt. White nylons. I seemed to like them. Ankle socks over my nylons. And pink boat shoes.

No wonder I hated school so much.

Someone get me a drink.

And about 5 chocolate bars.

I need to go forget that I ever did this.

Go see Kelly for more. I am sure she had better taste in fashion than me.

If I were to have another baby and plan my own shower.......

...........which will never ever happen, because a) I am finished being pregnant and going through sleep withdrawal for months on end, and, b) I would never plan my own baby shower.

But...just in case pigs one day do fly and my plans get somewhat changed *gag*, this is how I would plan my day.

The theme for my shower would be an Alphabet theme, because...well...I don't really know. I just like it and the pink and blue thing is just old.

These (or something similar) would be sent out to all invited guests with cutesy words.

Martha Stewart would come over to plan the big day complete with all of her supplies, brain cells and skills. We would not discuss $$ because we all know how she deals with that. Instead she would offer all services and supplies free of charge because she is nice like that.

She would suggest alphabet blocks for the cake(s) and she would even make them and decorate them. That Martha is such a great lady.

She would go through the trouble of shopping for guest favours. You know what she would pick? Cute lil' stamps with each guests initials. And she would even wrap them up in her handmade paper. That Martha, I tell ya. She is one swell gal.
Alphabet cookies would be baked and decorated with all of my favourite things. Chocolate, candy, sprinkles....pretty much anything with sugar would do. We would have little finger sandwiches because they are the greatest food ever and some other unhealthy food items because I would be eating for two. Not because I enjoy unhealthy food. Geesh.
Instead of the silly game counting jelly beans and wrapping toilet paper around my belly, there would be a "Guess how many letters are in the pretty glass container". The winner would then get to take a home a pretty glass container with all of the letters. I know. I am too nice...errrr...I mean the person planning my shower is too nice. Think of all of the wonderful things you could do with small letters...approximately 89 of them. The list is endless.

An alphabet book would be created by all of the guests. Each guest could pick a letter and draw a picture of something that starts with that letter. They also could write a little note to the new baby (or me) on the other side. Everyone say it......."Awwwwwwwwww"
Decorations would be all things alphabet. Blocks. Letters hanging from the ceiling. Alphabet balloons. Little cutesy chalkboards with letters. Ooooo......I have so many ideas....that I would pass on to the lovely friend who was planning the shower of course.

And then I would have the baby. My baby would be brilliant because of all of the alphabet gifts that were given at the shower. That baby would grow up, find a great job and support his/her Momma.

The End.

Now that you have seen my beautiful shower, click here to view more.