May 04, 2009

Not me! Monday!

After a long break due to Mr. Stellan not feeling the greatest, Not Me! Monday is back.

I am not giddy with excitement about this. Nope. Not at all.

I absolutely have not done anything that I regret or am not proud of during this hiatus. Every moment of my life is perfect and I would not make any move if it could possibly be discussed in a post like this.
Umm....yeah, right.

I did not put my hair gel/cream stuff on my toothbrush and actually put it in my mouth before noticing it wasn't toothpaste. Just because the tubes look almost identical doesn't mean I am that clueless. Geesh.

I did not drive to my old house the other night after an appointment and wonder why there was a boat parked in my driveway. I did not figure it out just before pulling in. I haven't lived there for almost a year but can you imagine if I walked up to the door and walked in??? Yikes!

I did not kick my children out of the house to go run laps outside the other day. Just because they drive me nuts in the house and are constantly running/jumping/wrestling/kicking/punching/screaming does not mean that they need to run laps.

I did not sing "Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes" in an opera voice the other morning just to grab Princess' attention so she would stay still on the change table. She did not look at me weird at all.

When yelling...err....speaking loudly to one of my children I do not always start with the beginning syllable of the other children's names. "M{essy}- Rowdy". It does not make me laugh. Especially when I am trying to discipline.

I did not dream that I looked like
this in a bikini. I should be dreaming about how to effectively discipline my children. Or World Peace. Or how to avoid getting Swine Flu.

I do not secretly hope that a video camera-making company designs a video camera that makes me look like
Heidi Klum....or Valerie Bertinelli in a bikini. Seriously Momma. Get a life.

Princess did not walk halfway across the room this weekend
. She is too young to walk. How is this happening? My baby is growing up. Pass me a tissue please. And a drink. And some chocolate.

Happy Monday Everyone!

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Allison said...

Let me know if the video camera ever exists!

Tiffany @ Paging Doctor Mommy said...

FABULOUS Not Me post! This was my first visit to your blog, but I have a feeling I will be back again and again!

Heatherlyn said...

Wow. That's amazing that you drove to the wrong house!

Whenever I dream of how I look in a bikini it is ALWAYS with better boobs than I actually have!

Your baby is walking?!! You are entitled to chocolate for the rest of the year! They grow up too too quickly!

Jen said...

Singing in a Opera voice is the best way to sing. I do it all the time.

H.K. said...

Great post to start off the week!

Dawn said...

Loved your Not Me's!

I don't kick my kids out to ride their bikes up and down the sidewalk everyday. I sit on a blanket and read my book and watch. Nice break!


Anonymous said...

Wonderful Not Mes.
Opera voice is something I do quite often. It is meant to be hilarious and hides the fact that my regular singing voice is really not all that bad in comparison.

Jeanette said...

Love your post!! I can TOTALLY relate to the yelling.. ehumm... talking loudly part!!! I have four boys so I usually go through two or three before I get to the ACTUAL child I am attempting to correct!! :)

First time to visit - will be back!!

Jeanette said...

CORRECTION - I actually have 5 boys as of 3 weeks ago!!! I can't believe I left him out!! lol

BlogBaby said...

Thank heaven's you didn't actually go in! You could have been shot or worse yet...they could have been naked!!!

Super funny!


Anonymous said...

Fantastic Job! Bravo!! Bravo!! Encore!!

I did NOT just do my first Not me! Monday! Post!! Nope, not at all!!

Scuba Girl said...

My dad used to run through all 8 other kids' names before he got to the one in trouble. We used to laugh at him. Huh. Ever since my #2 (of 4) was born, I've been doing the same thing. What goes around.....

And please share the drinks. And the chocolate

Twisted Cinderella said...

I sing to get Princess Magpie's attention on the change table too.