October 16, 2009

Helicopter Parents

Helicopter parent
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Helicopter parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not.




I have been thinking.


Can you see the smoke?




I recently heard this term and was fascinated. Not because I love the word "hover" but because I am amazed that there are parents like this.




I am a parent.


I am a parent who loves my children more than anything else in this universe.


But I am not a helicopter parent.




I am a parent who will do anything for her children.


But intruding on their development and their growing independence is not something I do.


I want my children to face obstacles. I want my children to learn how to deal with those obstacles. I want my children to understand that the world is not a perfect place and sometimes it really sucks.




Are you a helicopter parent?


Be honest. I don't judge.


An Island Life






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25 comments:

Ave said...

I don't have children yet.

Andrea said...

I don't think so. I'm pretty easy going and like to be involved my son's education, checking his homework or helping if he asks, attending PTO meetings and being room mother, but I don't interfere.

Auntie E said...

No I certainly am not. My daughter think I am though, I hoover over her all the time in her mind..lol.

WackyMummy said...

I don't know yet. I'm basically lazy... fundamentally so..... so I probably won't.... because that would entail getting off my butt and intervening. And that's just too much effort for me. ;)

Kimi said...

I'm borderline helicopter. I used to be worse. We are talking like a Blackhawk cruising overhead, but my hubby has gotten me to relax my hovering for the most part.

Staci said...

I am NOT, but my good friend is! It drives me CRAZY! The child cannot sneeze with out his mom being RIGHT there!! To each their own though!

pam said...

Maybe more so with the younger kids, but they do need to make their own mistakes...part of growing up, I guess.

Clara said...

My daughter is all grown up with her own kids. I wasn't a helicopter parent. I was quite a bit more easy going. We did have rules, but within those boundaries she had the freedom to do what she wanted. And she's turned out to be a wonderful woman, wife, mother, and teacher. I couldn't be more proud of her.

Otter Thomas said...

I came over after reading your guest post at Buried with Children. There a way too many helicopter parents. I don't like them and I hope I never even resemble on in any way. I think it is much better to let your kid face somethings on their own because they is going to have to do that someday anyway. You might as well let them start before they leave home.

TheAngelForever said...

As a teacher I remember helicopter parents all too well. I work hard not to be one of THOSE parents. Of course, when it comes to certain things I am a little more in your face - like making sure my son's PT and OT sessions are actually being done. I can't be there, but want to hear reports and follow up suggestions for home. I don't think that makes me a helicopter parent, just concerned.

sunshine said...

how funny!
I called my parents that towards my brother...
I have an 8 month old, so I am... because he is just a baby!

Brandi said...

Not yet I don't think...but my daughter is only 8 months old...

Tam said...

I guess I am at a lose of how parents can hover at Schools. Because here...you can't get to the front door for nothing. To get a meeting with a Teacher is practically an act of congress. Here parents can not walk kids to classes. We are not encouraged to email the teachers but to call the office and they will leave a note in the teachers box.

I however do think parents should be concerned about what is going on in the classroom....you know be up to date on things. I don't think that is hovering.

I think there needs to be a better definition of hovering. Hovering..HMM still pondering that!

Molly Doe said...

Nope, not. But I have encountered helicopter parents. My favorite was the mom who came in with her daughter for the job interview. Asked questions about the job (how much does it pay, what are the responsibilities, are the coworkers nice?), told her daughter how to fill out the application. I believe she even called in when her daughter didn't get the job.

These helicopter parents? Not doing their children favors.

JamericanSpice said...

No. I'm normal parent.

blueviolet said...

I have had times when I was, yes. But not anymore.

Vicki said...

I think I might be a bit of a helicopter parent. But I think that's because I'm a bit of a control freak. It's very probably to my children's detriment though and I should find ways to avoid doing it!

Synergy Girl said...

No..infact, maybe I could use a few perpellars (wow..that doesn't look right...) in my parenting sometimes I think...but I DO have four kids...so I give myself a little credit...

Foursons said...

Hmmmm...if I say I don't know that probably means I am doesn't it? I'm involved and if there is an issue my kids aren't mature enough to handle and need help expressing themselves then I will step in. I also check their backpacks daily and make sure everything is in it that they need for the next day. I should probably teach them to do that on their own, but I would hate for them to be unprepared because they forgot something.

golden girl said...

in some ways i guess i am a helicopter parent. i hover in terms of his safety, and safety concerns. i don't hover when he is learning valuable lessons or facing obstacles. aloha and take care.

Joy said...

Nope, never was. Just wasn't my style, I guess.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

What a great post. I'm so NOT a helicopter parent. I'm like, the opposite. What does that make me? A hot air balloon parent?

CynthiaK said...

You know, I would not consider myself one but I have close friends who are most definitely them. And they're rubbing off, mostly because I sometimes feel as though I'm not as good a parent because they're so much more "in tune" (I use the word loosely) with their kids.

But, when all is said and done, I think my kids have benefitted more from my letting them have their independence, especially in school. I hope I can keep it up as things get more challenging for them.

Thanks for stopping by Crumbs earlier! Nice to find another Ontario mom of three in the bunch!

John Deere Mom said...

I am not a helicopter parent, but BOY have I met some at parent/teacher conferences! ;)

Jenners said...

I don't think I am but I am an involved parent!