April 12, 2011

Me, myself and I.

This is what happens when you have children.
You lose sleep.
Your hormones go wild.
You cry alot.
You love madly.
You lose everything stored in your brain for the last 20 something years, and only store information relating to poop and lack of sleep.
Every bit of your life revolves around your lovely little family.
Then, as your children get older and take advantage of all you do for them, you realize there is more to life.
For years, you have doted on your perfect babies.
You have loved every inch of them and done everything they have needed.

And during that time you have lost yourself.
You forget the person you were before they swept you off of your feet.
You are unsure of what truly makes you happy.  JUST you.  Not with your children.  Just you.

Or maybe it is just me.

I am going to counselling to find myself again.
Crazy huh?
I know I love chocolate and I know that I hate coffee.
I know I love photography, gossip magazines and I know I hate emptying the dishwasher.

But I don't know who I am anymore because I have only been a Mother and a Wife.
Not just Momma.

Here is to another journey.
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9 comments:

Jenn said...

Beautiful post-absolutely love it! I saved it as a favorite in my google reader so I can find it easily :)

OneMommy said...

I don't find it crazy to have to find yourself once they grow up. I never saw myself as a SAHM, and now that I am one, I often wonder where the "me" is in this adventure. I spend the day thinking of poop and playing princesses and in the evening, when they're asleep, there is laundry and dishes... I'm not sure who I will be when they go to school, and it is a scary thought!

John Deere Mom said...

I think you are very strong, brave, and ambitious. I hope the counseling helps you find you...and that things get better. I don't like the momma is broken label. :(

Gigi said...

I know how you feel and I'm glad you are doing something about it now. I know that when my little bird flies the nest for college (next year?!?!) I'm going to be totally lost. Despite the fact that right this very minute I'm ready to kick him OUT of the nest......

Emily said...

What's crazy is that you HATE coffee. Mind boggling!

Making It Work Mom said...

I think it is so smart to do this. I think so often as mommys we just accept that this is all there is and after they leave we kind of just shrug our shoulders and say oh well. I love love love my children, but my husband and I have big plans for when they leave!

Elaine A. said...

Good luck girl. I'm sure you'll find the "you" you are looking for. Let us know how it goes, k? xoxo

Krista said...

The last month of my life has been THIS. I've been telling myself that going back to therapy is the way to go because now, I'm just not ME. I'm the scrambling, short-tempered, do everything for everyone mom instead of the laid back, let it roll of your shoulders and enjoy life gal I used to be. You're not crazy at all, in fact, I applaud you for going out to find YOU again!
Good luck! and THANK YOU!

maren said...

Thanks for sharing! I appreciate this post and your willingness to share. Often as a mom I wonder how everyone has it together and feel the same way you've described. It's nice to know I'm not alone.