July 30, 2012

Parenting Problems

My kids would fight over the air they breathe if they could find a way.
They are special.
"I was breathing the air first."
"I was using that air before you."
It's really kind of funny for anyone who doesn't live with them 24/7.
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One time I will videotape it without them noticing and post it here for you all to see, because it really is a talent of theirs.
I am convinced that they will each run their own successful business because they are excellent at debating/arguing/proving themselves right/not listening to anyone else.

Yay kids.
Please buy me a lakefront cottage when you are rich and successful.
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Anyways, I have a problem with this parenting nonsense and was hoping that maybe you could help a tired, old girl out.
The boys are two years apart.
Actually 1 year, 11 months, 2 weeks apart if we want to be specific.
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They are both at the age of having friends over to "hang out"
Hang out=play on the computer, eat every single snack in the cupboards, drink an insane amount of juice and make a huge mess.
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This is all fine with me, except for one thing.
8 year old wants to play with 10 year old and his buddies when they are over.
10 year old wants 8 year old to stay as far away as possible.
Fighting happens.
Mean words are exchanged.
Tears flow.
My tears, actually.

Because I understand both sides and am failing huge as a parent because I cant get them to find their happy place and all just get along.
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I have used the famous Rodney King quote {"Cant we all just get along?} so often that the boys actually say "NO" before I spew it out of my mouth now.

So, I have to ask.
How the heck do I solve this parenting problem without drinking in my bathroom?
Don't tell me to play with the 8 year old to keep him busy because he wont do it.
Mom is not fun when there are boys in the house to play with.
And don't tell me to get 8 year old to invite his friend over at the same time because it doesn't always happen.
I try, though. 
I even yell out my window, begging any living creature to come to my house to entertain 8 year old boy with big brother attachment issues.
But we live in the country, and the only creatures that hear me are the coyotes.

Thank you muchly for your suggestions.
I owe you each $100 for therapy.
Group hug.
 

4 comments:

Gigi said...

Oh bless your sweet, little heart. I have no advice (I only had the one, you know). So I'm sending copious amounts of wine and hugs. It will get better....eventually.

Hadiyah said...

My kids are ages 5 & 6 and they are always fighting. I hear them saying "I hate you" to each other at least 10 times a day.

Ugh, if you have any luck with your boys, please share because sometimes I really feel at a total loss.

:-/

AmbyLand said...

I say if its something you really want to crack down on, Sit them down and explain that every time they argue you will take something away. and then take something away. if they argue about a game take it away. Friends=no friends over for a month. this is what I do. My kiddos are not the same age but the principal is the same. I believe it is our job to teach them how to be nice even when there are problems. How to fight nice. And how to get along. My parents failed at this so I have spent years thinking about it. It is very important to me. Your home is your soft place to fall, we need our family.
I mean all of this seriously and as nice as possible.
Amber

Heatherlyn said...

I have this issue sometimes. What I do is talk to big sister beforehand and threaten her ... j/k, I don't threaten her. But I do tell her that I expect her to be nice and include little sister in the fun she is having with friends and tell her that if she can't do that she won't be allowed to have friends over. And then I talk to little sister beforehand and tell her that she is to leave big sister alone because everyone is entitled to alone time with their friends. And then it sort of works out.

Interesting, the girls that are 22 months apart don't have this issue. They either play together OR little sister doesn't even attempt to join in the fun. I've been really surprised by this.

But we do have lots of talks at our house both about how it is important to give siblings space and how it is important to include siblings as friends.

It's a tough issue when siblings really want their space but don't want to give space.