May 30, 2013

I'm awesome.

I am back.
I took a little blog hiatus, and, have to admit I survived without it.
Mentally, it was good for me.
I mean, really.  This thing is a hobby and I shouldn't feel pressure to write when I'm not in the mood.

And I wasn't in the mood.
And I was busy.

So there.

My returning gift to you is telling you why I am awesome.
You're welcome.

I am awesome because......

*I am able to blog, converse with my 9 year old and watch Dateline at the same time.  Doing it right now, folks.  Like a boss.

*I successfully hide food from my children and have the uncanny ability to eat it right in front of them without them catching on.

*I wipe girl-child's face with my own spit on my hand.  Don't say gross.  You have done it too.

*I know everything about every celebrity because I have an addiction to gossip magazines that are quickly putting us into debt.  Don't judge.  At least I admit my issues.

Not like Amanda Bynes.

*I try my hardest not to NOT sweat the small stuff.  Life is short.  Life sucks sometimes.  Life is a privilege.  Before we know it we will all be pushing up daisies, so lets just try to get through this short time on earth happy.

*My kids are never late for appointments, school, sports and other random happenings.  They might show up with snotty noses and messy clothes, but they aren't late!

*I birthed three children.
Nuff said.

*I remember all the lyrics of random 1980's songs

*Im not afraid to sing opera with my windows down while sitting at a red light.
My kids love it.

*I burp like no one else.
It's one of my {many} talents.

*Level 242 on Candy Crush.
I am there.
You're jealous, right?

*I rub cream on my dog's butthole using a Ziploc bag as my glove because he licks it until it is raw.

*I know all of the lines in Dirty Dancing

*and Pretty Woman

*I say Thank You  4386486 times a day, even when it isn't necessary
Wanna hang out?


Amy McMean said...

Wow! I'm only at level 65..........and it's driving me insane. Awesome post

Anonymous said...

Being on time to things is something to be applauded alone. I can't stand when people are late!

Dyanne @ I Want Backsies said...

I do the food thing, too, although my kids are now 14 and 17 and are getting wise to my ways (and my hiding places).

And I'm on level 103 on that stupid, addictive, awesome Candy Crush. I bow to you.

Mama Melch said...

I too am a champ at remembering random lyrics and out belching my 3 brothers. Great list and reminders.

Kelsey Homolka said...

Welcome and glad you're back! I laughed at the things you do, I tend to do some of the same things too!

LisaS said...

Oh the food hiding thing! Gotta laugh!


Gigi said...

Welcome back. And yes, without a doubt, you are awesome.

And no, you shouldn't feel pressure to write here. It's a hobby...not a job.

Yolanda Ronaldo said...

Level freaking 242 on candy crush?! Man you are like 219 levels ahead of me. You are seriously awesome.

Rick said...

Got here via 'Carefree Jewelry By Lisa' (don't ask). Had a chuckle or 2 reading some of your posts. Our dogs have 1 thing in common - although our dog's bh isn't in that condition because she licks it raw but because she can't lick it to keep it clean (she's getting on and arthritis prevents her from reaching - I know - too much info ;>)

Anyway - nice to meetcha.

jo@blog-diggidy said...

WOW! You are awesome!! LOL, I am stuck at stinking level 30 somethingorother because I insist on having at least 2 stars before moving on...What? No, I'm not aside, my daughter is proud when she burps, too. ;)

Stacey @ Chasing Cloud 9 said...

I hide food from my kids too...but the older they get the smarter they get. They have discovered a couple of my many hiding places :(