June 25, 2009

Help Wanted

Tantrum Diffuser/Behaviour Therapist/Tantrum Putter-Outer

  • Required to work 7 days a week

  • 24 hours a day

  • Must be willing to be on call at all times and must be able to come to tantrum-ing child wherever he/she may be

  • Skills required-patience, good communication skills with young children, consistency, kind, loving demeanor at all times

  • Duties include-diffusing tantrums in 5 year old boys who don't get gum at the grocery store, toys at any place that sells toys and trampolines at Walmart. It would also be beneficial if you have experience dealing with 7 year olds who have an attitude and use bad language on occasion. And.... 14 month old girls who enjoy eating anything and freak out when it is taken away.

  • Pay cannot be negotiated because I don't have any money to give you, but maybe a chocolate bar every once in awhile. And a pat on the back. And a thank you.

  • Anything you can do to keep my children in line will be much appreciated.

  • Because Momma is tired

And because I am such a wonderful kiss butt student I have a few interviews to share that I have done in the past. I tried to do another one but my children had no interest and let me know how horrible I am at it.

One day they will regret saying that because I am the next Katie Couric/ Baba Wawa (aka Barbara Walters). Look out network news. Momma will be applying to your Help Wanted ads soon.

Anyways, here are a few interviews I have done in the past.

With Messy.

With Studley.


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Red Neck Diva said...

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i hopr you find mine as entertaining

Kiki (G.G.) said...

Great ad. When someone answers it, please send him/her my way. Visiting from Mama Kat's. Have a wonderful day and take care.

CJ said...

When I was attending a workshop (when I was a teacher) a child psychologist lead a discussion on extreme behaviors like tantrums. He suggested that when the child is NOT having a tantrum, set up a video camera or a tape recorder and tell the child you want him/her to have a tantrum so you can show your doctor, mother, neighbor (anyone) what the tantrums are like. Of course, the child cannot go into a tantrum at will, so just leave the tape recorder there and tell the child it's all ready for the next tantrum. If one comes along tell the child you are glad they are having the tantrum so you can complete the tape. Of course, this baffles the child and since they are getting a calm response, rather than seeing you upset, then the tantrum isn't accomplishing what the child wants. The psychologist said it stopped almost every child from having tantrums again. If by chance, you do catch a tantrum on video and the tantrums don't stop, showing it to the child when he/she is not upset may work. Of course this may or may not work with your child and I am not a therapist so you can try it at your own risk, or reject this idea completely. Dr. Phil suggests putting the child in a room with no toys or other fun things until the tantrum passes. Problem is, who has an empty room set aside just for this purpose?) Good luck.

(I'm sponsoring my first GIVEAWAY. Come visit for the details.).

Jenn said...

That's fantastic! I could use one of those (or just someone to unload the dishwasher). I gave you an award on my blog yesterday!

Chelsea said...

Very funny. I took a wanted ad out today as well and you know what just like you I am pretty sure I won't get anyone cause I was offering no pay but at leaset one hour off a week. I figured I accept it so should someone else. LOL

Patrice said...

Hope you find someone and if you do, please send them my way on their day off (if any days off are permitted)!!

Kekibird said...

Hhahahaah! Love that you are a "good" student and posted extra with the interviews.

Amy said...

When you find that person please let me know where because I could use one too. Oh the joys of parenthood.

Trudy said...

Very cute..I love the interviews, especially Studley's!

Erin said...

Ohhh I would love to see the applicants for this one! I am just now dealing with those tantrums when you take something from my 10 months old. The 2 year old...yeah well he's been throwing himself dramatically on the floor for tantrums for a LONG time now!

Angela said...

Oh if you find someone to do this for just a chocolate bar and a pat on the back then you have witnessed a miracle and you must share the angel with me for my 4yr old and 7yr old boys!! BECAUSE THIS MOMMA IS TIRED TOO!!

Foursons said...

Great ad. I would love to let someone else handle that job at my house!

Jessica said...

Sounds like we all need someone to come in and live our lives for us while we...do who knows what! :) I have the same problem. Let me know if you find someone.

Heatherlyn said...

Oh, I want one of those at my house. If you have too many qualified applicants let the ones you have to turn down know that we are accepting resumes over here!

monica said...

Great Ad! Tantrums aren't they the best...I deal with them also just 3 year old ones!