August 13, 2009

Time Outs




Photo courtesy of Yahoo Images.



In my BP (Before Parenting) days I was a bit of an expert in behaviour. I took Psychology courses, Developmental courses, Behaviour Modification courses, worked closely with Psychologists and Behaviour Therapists. I even implemented many behaviour programs with young children having much success.



Then I had my own kids.



2 boys in less than 2 years.



All of my behaviour knowledge left my brain as soon as the babies exited my womb.



Or, my boys are just so unique that none of my knowledge applies to them. Yep, I think that's it.



I always wanted smart kids but now I am wishing they were just a tad "cognitively challenged" so some of my previously successful behaviour "programs" would work for them.



So Mamakat wants to know why my kids are in Time Outs. I am sure after I let everyone know, you will be wishing she did not ask.



Or you will want to send me a present in the form of alcohol, chocolate or a cage.



So let me fill you in on recent events that have occurred in Momma's home and why my children have been sent to a Time Out. Are you sitting down?





  • urinating in their Tonka dump truck


  • urinating on eachother


  • using the "A" word


  • the "F" word


  • calling me the "A" word


  • playing outside in the nude/flashing passing motorists


  • throwing a drinking glass across the room. Yes, it shattered. Everywhere.


  • looking up "Fat Ass" on the computer and giggling at what was found


  • hitting me


  • pushing me


  • hitting/pushing eachother


I like Rum and Vodka. Milk chocolate. Any kind of cage will do. Just make sure it locks.












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24 comments:

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Urine is sterile...I don't know why you are making such a big deal out of it!! ;)

Hallie

M. said...

Oh, this is funny!

Katie said...

I love the ducktape photo! Classic :)

Trudy said...

LOL, sound like boys to me!

I'll be on the lookout for a nice cage for you, with a double lock!

kisatrtle said...

OMG I laughed until my tea came out of my nose. I think your boys should get together with my kids and you and I should go for a drink.

WackyMummy said...

Love the photo.
Hmmmm... I got out the booze to send you, but two things happened: I ended up toasting your troubles and wishing you good fortune, and second, found out the post office won't send a glass of rum in the mail. Not even if I tape a cardboard top to it. Oh well. I tried. ;)

Kimberly said...

oh I could barely get past #2! wow, life with boys is certainly never dull!

Hillori said...

Tee-hee! It's funny because I'm reading it, not writing it! But you are blessed with the talent of laughing at it-at last they are days you won't forget!

Mom of Three said...

You know, until you have boys, you just can't relate. They sound like great fun (if they're not yours! lol). I think spa days should be automatically written into the mother-of-boys contract.

Foursons said...

Bahahahahahaha! Ya' know, all non-parents always KNOW how to best parent.

Love your boys- to pieces!

Foursons said...

Oh, and is the cage for you or them?

Jen said...

I am so loving this prompts it makes me feel better but at the same time worse b/c I know that I am in for it with all these boys. But you will help me through it right?

Bridgett said...

Whew!

That's all I can say!

June Freaking Cleaver said...

Imagine the things they will accomplish when they use their talents for good, and not evil!

Erin said...

That's hilarious! So...I have two boys in two years too...come on over now, we have Belgium chocolate!

Heatherlyn said...

Oh my. You also need some sort of computer filter system. :) Isn't it interesting how programs that work with other people don't necessarily work with our own kids?

That duck tape photo is so wonderful! I love it!

Chicago Mom said...

Oh. My. God. Your boys are lucky they are still alive! LOL (Visiting from Buried With Children - love your blog!)

Jody said...

BLICK!!! I am so sorry you have to clean up all that lovely urine.

Jody

shortmama said...

And this is why I thank God I have daughters!

April said...

We have had the urine in the big yellow tonka truck too. Fun times.

WhisperingWriter said...

LOL that picture is hilarious!!

Twisted Cinderella said...

Oh dear, it sounds like you have had quite a time of it!

cdefinbaugh said...

I am so happy to hear I am not the only one who spent money for an education in social work and years fixing other people's kids just to have my kids be Dr. Phil's poster children some days!! My son urinated on the decorative tree at the Olive Garden!!!

Jenners said...

Does it make me a bad mother that the photo just cracked me up?????

And I truly wonder how you survive with that kind of stuff happening!!! I'm glad I only have 1 boy!