January 16, 2012

20 ways to embarrass your children

Being a parent is all sorts of awesome when you can embarrass the poop out of your kids.
I figure since they have spent the last 10 years embarrassing me, the least I can do is get them back.
And now that they are getting older and more aware of what others think, I am having a ball testing their limits.
It doesn't take much to create some red cheeks and hear the words "Stop embarrassing me", but, in some weird way I find it therapeutic to laugh at myself and create uncomfortable situations for my children.
Reason number 79579467 my children will need therapy.

1.Dance to Rihanna while driving your mini van in traffic.
2.Pretend to pick your nose while driving.
3.Sing very loud while listening to Lady Gaga with the windows open while driving in traffic.
4.Better yet, sing in an opera voice.
5.Sing in an opera voice when your children have friends over.
6.Or head bang.
7.Dance.  Any kind of dance you do will embarrass your children because they think you are old and have no rhythm.  Little do they know that you used to get all groovy and stuff on the dance floor at all the cool clubs.
8.Use the word "groovy" while chatting with their friends.
9.Tell all of your friends and blog readers about the time your kid crapped on the neighbours lawn.
10.Or the time he peed in the driveway and you took pictures.
11.Or the time he overdosed on cough syrup.
12.Kiss your spouse.  They hate that.
13.Yell "I love you" as loud as you can when you drop them off at school.
14.Leave love notes in their lunch bag.
15.Call them "sweetheart", "honey", "pookie wookie" in front of others.
16.Talk about your..umm...success or no success in the washroom with family members
17.Toot and then blame it on them. 
18.Use the word "dweeb".
19. Or say "Wassup Dawg?" with your pants low riding when they enter the room with their buddies.
20.Create a blog.

You're welcome.


Gigi said...

:-) I may have used a couple of these in my time....of course, now I find that my mere existence is embarrassment enough.

OneMommy said...

So going to have to remember these when mine get older.
My daughter already doesn't let me sing... LOL. I will definitely be making use of the ones ivolving singing when her friends are over...

Jenners said...

My son stopped hugging me at the bus stop this year. I suspect I shall begin yelling "love you honeybun" tomorrow to keep up with you!