Yo.

Dude, I am still alive.

Fo realz.

I am alive as in breathing alive, not climbing up a mountain singing "hallelujah" alive, but whatever.

Basically, I am existing.

Don't say "aw" and "you poor thing", because, honestly, I think existing is friggin awesome right now.

I have recently come to terms with the fact that my life as a mother is changing.

My children have all entered into different phases of their lives and now Mommy has to catch up and just deal with it.

They don't need me as much.

They don't like me very much.

In fact, there are many times they hate me.

And instead of doing the ugly cry in the corner, I am learning (slowly) to just suck it up.

But fuck it is hard.

To all of you peeps who have infants and toddlers, enjoy every second, because when they get to their tween years it is a whole new game.

Its a shitty game where the rules change constantly and you have to find a way to stay ahead of your independent, stubborn, smart opponents (aka your children) before they kick your ass.

Shes not a tween yet, but acts like one

While dealing with this new change, I am also realizing that I have lost myself.

My life has been lived for my babies over the last 12 years and now (at times) they hate me and...well....that's hard for me because theyaremylife.

In my mind I am thinking......

"I have done everything for them and they don't even appreciate it?

Have I screwed up as a parent because they still hate me after all I do for them?

Is it hormones?

Am I a wimp?

I need to get a life."

But then I hug and kiss them and tell them I love them anyways and pray to God that they grow up healthy and happy because their parents adore them

Its a never ending battle in my head, which is probably why I'm a mental mess.

So where does that leave blogging?

I mean, its rare that I can take a photo of my kids without them covering their faces or running the other way.

I could write about all the reasons they hate me today or what caused the fist fight at 7am, but that might get boring......or not.....

I could write about all of the pretty crafts I make and house redecorating I do, but.....hahahahahahahaha......it doesn't happen.

I have irritable bowel syndrome that makes eating anything other than applesauce a huge pain in my ass....literally.

Stay tuned.

Maybe soon I will write about shit my big kids are doing.

Or Ike and Duke the horses and Jersey the dog.

Or poop soup, because that's one of my favourite topics.

What's new with you?

Miss me, miss me, now you gotta kiss me.

That's right, peeps.
I am back to the blogosphere after a temporary hiatus.
Lets make out.

I don't really know how to explain my vacation except, well, I just lost interest.
And life got in the way.
And I just didn't feel the need to talk about myself anymore, because I am slightly boring and have no life.
True story.

But, after getting countless emails from my loyal peeps wondering if I died on my trip to Florida or if Jersey the dog ate my computer, I am here to tell you I am still alive.

And, as of this very second, I am feeling the urge to get back on here.
You can all rejoice.
And sing Hallelujah.

hugsandsmooches

20 ways to embarrass your children

Being a parent is all sorts of awesome when you can embarrass the poop out of your kids.

I figure since they have spent the last 10 years embarrassing me, the least I can do is get them back.

And now that they are getting older and more aware of what others think, I am having a ball testing their limits.

It doesn't take much to create some red cheeks and hear the words "Stop embarrassing me", but, in some weird way I find it therapeutic to laugh at myself and create uncomfortable situations for my children.

Reason number 79579467 my children will need therapy.

1.Dance to Rihanna while driving your mini van in traffic.

2.Pretend to pick your nose while driving.

3.Sing very loud while listening to Lady Gaga with the windows open while driving in traffic.

4.Better yet, sing in an opera voice.

5.Sing in an opera voice when your children have friends over.

6.Or head bang.

7.Dance.  Any kind of dance you do will embarrass your children because they think you are old and have no rhythm.  Little do they know that you used to get all groovy and stuff on the dance floor at all the cool clubs.

8.Use the word "groovy" while chatting with their friends.

9.Tell all of your friends and blog readers about the time your kid crapped on the neighbours lawn.

10.Or the time he peed in the driveway and you took pictures.

11.Or the time he overdosed on cough syrup.

12.Kiss your spouse.  They hate that.

13.Yell "I love you" as loud as you can when you drop them off at school.

14.Leave love notes in their lunch bag.

15.Call them "sweetheart", "honey", "pookie wookie" in front of others.

16.Talk about your..umm...success or no success in the washroom with family members

17.Toot and then blame it on them. 

18.Use the word "dweeb".

19. Or say "Wassup Dawg?" with your pants low riding when they enter the room with their buddies.

20.Create a blog.

You're welcome.

I Likey

My new blog design!
I have been feeling the itch for a big change for awhile.
I internally fought with myself because one part of me wanted to stop the blog and another part of me wanted to take it in a new direction.
But I had no idea what "new direction" to take it.
And, honestly, I still don't.
So, for now I will love up my new blog created by my wonderfully talented sister in law and write when I feel like writing. Feel free to tell me what direction to take this blog.
Photography?
Parenting crap?
Crafty crud?  Please say no because I don't have a crafty bone in my body.
Fashion?  BAHAHAHAHAHA

As you can see I am very limited in my talents.
But I am double jointed in all of my joints.
*ahem*
That's a talent right?

Thank you to my sister from another mister for taking the time and using your talents on this little piece of my life.  My fingers are crossed that the change will get my creative juices flowing again.

Psst....she has a blog too.  Go check it out.

So Random.

Random. That's me. Full of it actually.

Random thoughts roaming through my mushy Mommy brain. All of the time.

I mean, I am a stay at home mom so the majority of my thoughts involve cooking, cleaning, poop and vomit.

Random huh?

Man, I miss the days of commuting, listening to my tunes in the vehicle and having uninterrupted meal times.

Ok...not really.

Well, maybe just a little bit.

*When my youngest child dumped a bag of milk on the kitchen floor, I convinced myself that after 6 years, being a stay at home mom is not for me. But when she fell and ran to Mommy with her arms out wide, I realized how lucky I am to be the one she runs to.

*As I was cleaning up the milk and wondering who thought to put it in a bag, I remembered that it is a Canadian thing. Now if only a Canadian could invent an "unspillable" bagged-milk-pitcher. And then send me one.

*While trying on clothing in a clothing store and {finally} fitting into a size medium, I did a happy dance. In the change room. In front of Princess. In front of the mirror. Wearing a black dress and white ankle socks.

*Maybe there were a few tears too. Maybe.

*Farmville on Facebook. I don't get the fascination. Unless you're 10.

*I understand Adam Lambert wants to stand out and get some attention, but cant he tone it down just a little bit?

*Dear Children. I understand you love horses but pretending you are a horse and galloping throughout our house every single day is really annoying. Love Mom.

*I want a pretty camera strap like this one

*I was recently informed about an article in the New York Times. This article basically slams Mommy Bloggers and implies that our children are neglected because we are too busy blogging. I could get all angry and ticked off about it but instead I will say this. Mothers deserve to have a hobby. Mothers deserve to have something that is all theirs. Mothers deserve to have "me time". If blogging is the hobby that women want, then let them do it.

Does the article slam Mothers who work outside of the home? No. It doesn't criticize Mothers who join a gym, or a book club, or any other "hobby" that takes them away from their children.

I started blogging as a way to keep my sanity in this world known as Stay at Home-Ville. I started blogging because I enjoy expressing myself through words and pictures. I started blogging as a way to document my life...my children's life...so that if I am not around, my children know what their Mommy was like.

And how much she loved them.
Neglect? I don't think so.

Power to the People

Hey you!

Yes you!

It is Aloha Friday and that means it is time for me to ask you a question......

or two......or three.

I aim to please. I appreciate my followers.

Even if I bribed you to get here.

And offered you prizes or money or chocolate.

I still love you.

And want to make you happy.

So tell me......

What do you like to read about when you visit someone's blog?

What do you like to see when you get there?

Pictures?

Recipes?

Giveaways?

Stories?

Tell me what keeps you interested.

Because I want to know.

Thanks muchly.