October 24, 2013

Today my kids fought. It is a usual event, but today they threw pizza pockets at eachother. Hold me.

Yo.
Guess what I just did?
I attempted to twerk in front of a mirror.
And it was not a pretty sight.

38.5 year old women who have birthed three children should never, ever twerk.

I am old.
And jiggly.

Group hug please.

*There is a stranger living in my house. 
OK, not really. 
The stranger is actually my husband who has been working for 3.5 weeks and only home to sleep.
Now, his schedule is back to normal and the family is readjusting to being "normal" again.

*Dear Children
This pisses me off.
And this too
Love Mom

*I think I hate Princess Kate.
Her flawless skin.
Her perfect hair.
Her classy wardrobe.
Her perfect body just weeks after having a baby.
Yep, I hate her.
 
I bet she even looks good twerking

*How I look when my kids eat the last cookie

*Dear New Parents
Having a new baby is wonderful isn't it?  I know it seems difficult at times, but, just wait until that beautiful, perfect lil' human gets older and the hormones take hold of their brain and body.  Sorry to rain on your parade, but enjoy the coos and smiles now, before they turn into anger/tears and rage.
Love V

Send me happy pills please.
And send some for my hormonal kid too.

Happy Friday y'all!!!
It's been a bad day.
Feel sorry for me, k?

Linking up with a few of my faves

A Rural Journal

Photobucket
The Pink Momma




13 comments:

LisaS said...

;)

Buttons said...

Sending Happy Pills but your humour has me in stitches every time you know you are truly happy at least in your head. B

Beth @ E. Lizard Breath Speaks said...

in Kate's defense or side thought, whatever (ha. ha!!) ... remember she has folks to help her be flawless. i bet several ones to help out. & help with the baby. ( :

W. Latane Barton said...

sweetie, if you think you are jiggly you should take a gander at me. Now, that's some jiggles.

Snap said...

hugs hugs and more hugs to you. jiggles -- you haven't seen me! hang in there -- more hugs to you!

Rose said...

Oh, gosh, you got me laughing...and then to read Latane's comment was the icing on the cake.

Elaine Alguire said...

I was at the park this morning with my WILD children and say some cute moms feeding their toddlers "puffs" and thought, "oh man, what I wouldn't give for those days back..." ;)

Barb said...

I have no idea what twerking is, but since I'm 30 years older than you, I'm not ever going there. I like to think we could all be Kate if we had staff - also there would be no toothpaste in the bowl and no dirty clothes. It would all be handled by someone else.

hula-la said...

Yes, laughter is the best medicine! So here's some good happy vibes being sent your way! And I don't twerk. As far as the little ones, go, my 3 are grown, and gone...and IT'S ALL GOOD! (even when they come back) It's ME time, they are getting older, but I REFUSE!!! ALOHA

Nancy Claeys said...

I have never seen that video so I don't know what twerking is really. Not sure I want to! :)

augcott said...

OMG
I just love your posts/blog.
You make me laugh out loud and I read and re-read your posts until my stomach hurts.
Your honesty and humor are delightful and refreshing!
Please don't stop!!!
:-D
PS I had to look up twerking!!!!
PPS I will never do that! People would beg me to stop!

MTWaggin said...

As usual, right there with you. Group hug! Your writing and what you photograph makes me chuckle even when it doesn't make you chuckle! See you are bringing happiness to someone!

Cyndy @ Back in the Bush said...

Is it ok if I feel sorry for you but laugh hysterically at the same time? Because this was funny, especially your face when the kids eat the last cookie.
My 12 year old recently ate the last of my Nutella. Girlfriend LICKED THE JAR CLEAN. My face looked just like that.