August 10, 2011

Parenting Advice Needed. Thanks Muchly.

Day Camp.

The boys have done it all.  The money we have spent on sports and activities for our children makes me want to scream.  The fact that they hate it all makes me want to do the ugly cry, sit in a corner and rock back and forth.

The boys do not enjoy any sort of organized activity.  They do not enjoy any sort of team sport.  They hate it all.

For years, middle child cried, screamed and held on to my leg whenever he had to participate in an activity.
The moments watching him lay on the ice crying for 30 minutes still gives me the shakes.
And the many times he sounded like a tortured animal in the swimming pool still brings tears to my eyes.


Now they just flat out refuse to join any sort of..well..anything, and it upsets me.

The exercise.
The socialization.
The time away from the TV and computer.
The time listening to someone other than their Mom and Dad.
The friends they could make.
The possibility of becoming a rich, famous star so they could buy their Momma a new car.
Or house.
And the fact that I know that they would both excel if they just tried...and stuck with it.

The swimming is a non negotiable.  They know that it is something they have to continue until they grow gills but the rest....I just don't know what to do.

Do I wait until they find something themselves?
Do I force the issue and continue to spend loads of $$$ on things they hate?

Help a Momma out here.


Foursons said...

Honestly? My first gut reaction is enjoy it! We are so busy driving from one activity to another and I wish mine were not interested in everything. Yes it's expensive, but it is also time consuming. Let them enjoy being kids and hanging out at home using their imaginations and exploring their world close to home. There will come a time when they don't want to be home anymore. And school will provide the socialization and other adult time they need.

*Desi* said...

I agree, school will give them the socialization! so just being kids isn't a bad idea!!
But if you really want them into activities, I have a couple friends with boys who don't really like to do a whole lot but they both LOVE gymnastics!! In our area most places like that will let you do a trial class just to see how it goes! Good luck, and have fun!! :)

Gigi said...

It's not a requirement for your kids to be in organized sports. If your kids aren't interested right now, count your blessings. If, though, you want them to do "something" look at other options outside of sports(theater, photography, etc).

Karen said...

What about something like the 4-H club? I'm not sure what the local chapter would be called but maybe if you google it, it would lead to something local. Your boys are so interested in agricultural, outdoorsy, messy stuff they might actually really like it!

Should you force the activities? No. My mother nags me all the time to get Paige (9) involved in something but Paige has a debilitating bathroom phobia (clogging, overflowing, anxiety that leads to diarrhea which of course leads to clogging, overflowing, etc). She (my mother) pushes me to enroll her in "something" because if we cater to it, it will only get worse. Of course my mother can say that-she's not the one here with Paige in the mornings as she spends an hour on the toilet stressed out about going to her "fun filled" day!!

Your kids are so very fortunate that they get to grow up out in the country. That is education enough for them...imagine how hard their bodies and their imaginations are working!

OneMommy said...

I'd say save your money and let them figure out for themselves what, if anything, they want to do. I was loving my daughter in gymnastics, especially since I had taken it for years and year, but the minute she wasn't having fun we decided she'd finish the session we had paid for and then take her out of it. She is much happier and I don't have to listen to her whine and complain about classes. One day she'll pick something else to do. Or not.

Heatherlyn said...

It's expensive but maybe they'd like to compete with horseback riding? You already have some horses. Although I don't know if they are the jumping competing types of horses.

The fact is you can't make kids do what they don't want to.

Maybe skiing? Is there anywhere nearby to ski? Most kids think it is fun, and not necessarily a team sport. But you can compete.

Most of my kids really enjoy their extra activities. But I do know that you can't really make a kid do something that they really don't want to do!

Well, you CAN make them. But who wants to make a kid be on a team sport they don't enjoy?