Random

Word up, peeps.
Its Friday and you know what that means?
Random nonsense.
My favourite kind of stuff because then I don't have to get all creative and make collage thingies that no one sees.
Geesh, I didn't think it was that bad.

Anyways, I am still thawing out after our week of -30 temperatures and snow dumps.
You know its bad when Jersey the dog doesn't even try to run away.
And its really bad when he pisses on the deck because he cant stand the thought of venturing out into deep snow.
Jerk.

So, lets get at it, shall we?
*I recently purchased a hair straightener iron thingy, but am too scared to use it, because I think this might happen.


*I have grieved the end of Breaking Bad and am now addicted to Dexter. The sister annoys me and is too skinny, but I enjoy the weirdness of Dexter. I also like that he kills bad people.

*Dear Courtney Cox. What happened to your face?

 

*Our heating bill was over $1000 this month.  So, we have been trying to warm the house with our wood burning fireplace to cut back on the cost.  I have been starting fires all week with paper and kindling.  Then yesterday I found hubby's fire starter logs. 

Now that I know I am a Girl Scout, my next goal is to build a shelter out of palm leaves and coconuts.

 

*This is my daughter.  She is obsessed with the movie "Frozen" and watches YouTube constantly.  Apparently she learned the words.......

 

Lung Cancer Bites

Brace yourselves.
Here we go again.

Remember?
It is Lung Cancer Awareness Month.
I am going to keep talking about it until everyone knows all about it...
...how it affects those who love the people who get the horrible, horrible disease...
...how it completely, totally sucks ass.

Excuse my language.

My children, in their young, short lives have experienced loss more than most adults four times their age.  We have had the "Doctors couldn't make him better" discussion so often that they can now predict exactly what will be said.
They seem to understand death, heaven and angels, but it doesn't make the pain any less...ummm...painful.

So I had this idea.
I would get my kids to talk about it.
I wanted their own words.
I wanted to see if I could talk about it without getting all verklempt.  And, as you can see from these videos, we are all dealing with this grief crap very differently.....

....humour......


....and complete sadness with some anger added in....


And then there is me who still imagines her Daddy's voice....his smell....his raspy laugh and sometimes "speak before you think" humour. There is me who still thinks he is away and will be back for Christmas.
I call it denial.
It's working for me so far.

Don't smoke please.
Don't allow smoking in your house.
Inform everyone you know that lung cancer is a monster who takes away the best people ever from their young grandchildren.   My apologies for the depressing stuff lately.....just trying to get the message across. Group hug. Smooches.

Fifty Shades of Husband and Jersey the Dog. Totally doesnt make any sense, but made me giggle.

 My husband pretends to not be an animal lover, but he is not a very good pretender.
He is not a cat person and tells me everyday as they sleep on our porch, climb our trees and poop in our flower gardens.
He would be totally OK if they disappeared, but I didn't tell you that.

Speaking of the MC {many cats}.
They have decided that it is very enjoyable to jump in the vehicle anytime we open the door{s}.
The other day I drove down the street only to discover two felines sitting in the seat behind me ready to go for a journey.
I thought about driving to the local pet store, dropping them off and taking off like some sort of bad-ass criminal....but I didn't.
Because I love cats.
Ahem.

Anyways, back to the husband.
If I gave him an ultimatum to choose between Jersey the dog and me, I am sure he would choose the dog.
I took Princess to dance class the other evening and came home to a beeping answering machine.
This is what was on it.


*FYI...when referring to "the Colonel", he means Kentucky Fried Chicken.*I promise.  No more dog posts for awhile.

Crap I Have Learned Recently

*sometimes it is OK to remember the days before I was a parent. And miss them.
*rabbits can run really fast when a black cat named Blackie is chasing them
*cats can run really fast just a few days after giving birth
*it is possible to sleep without sleeping pills after relying on them for 2 years.  Imagine that.
*Finding Nemo is still an amazing movie to see at the theatre
*Ike the horse enjoys pissing in his stall, when I am in it with him
*horse urine does not make your skin softer
*sweaty camel toes at the gym make me vomit a little in my mouth
*my daughter wants to be a rock star

*and so do my boys

*my family thinks the toilet paper rolls magically replace themselves
*explaining breastfeeding to a four year old is difficult
*watching hours and hours of Intervention never gets boring
*and Dirty Jobs
*purchasing Halloween candy 1.5 months early is not smart when trying to lose weight
*it is very hard for me to keep my mouth shut when witnessing a fellow gym "lady" smoking after just working out minutes before *writers block is hard when wanting to write

........to be continued...........

Sometimes photos can be misleading. Especially when they feature my children.

I bet when you look at these photos, you think...
calm...

quiet...

peaceful...

tranquil...

serene...

But I am going to ruin it for you and show you this.
{skip to 0.30 seconds}

You're welcome.

A tour of my mudroom/foyer thingy. My children. And poop. All in one post.

Wassup Dawgs??!!
That's me pretending to be cool, but it really sounded horrible right?

This week, Kelly is showcasing foyers and because I like to be unique, I am interpreting "foyer" as "mud room".
They are the same thing right?

Anyways, here is a very quick tour that I give you myself with alot of "um"s, "whatever"s and "I don't know"s thrown in just for shits and giggles.

I used to dream about being a journalist on the local news, but now I am convinced that I would have gotten fired after saying "um" 17392759834678942679 times in the first 2 minutes.
Apparently I am not all that great at public speaking.
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I knew that in Grade 5 when I had to present a science project with my best friend on hamster mazes and I nearly pooped my pants.
And then when I did a speech on Cancer and almost vomited all over the chalkboard.
And the time I sang oTannenbaum in front of the school during the Christmas concert and had to clench my bum cheeks to hold in the poop soup.
Did I just say that?

Where was I?
Oh yeah....the tour......



Annnnnd.....on a completely unrelated note.
I tried to take photos of my children all dressed up the other day because it doesn't happen very often.
This is what I got.
I would say they provide an accurate depiction of my children's personalities, and how they feel about having their photo taken.


They are still freakishly good looking, even with a mouthful of food, tongue hanging out and while cleaning horse crap out of their shoes.
These beautiful creatures entered the world from my womanly parts.
It amazes me every single day.

To see more foyers, check out Kelly's link up here.
For more photostory stuff, go see the worlds bestest photographer here.


Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

A Conversation with my 4 Year Old

"Tomorrow you have an appointment at the dentist."
"Why?"
"So she can clean your teeth and make sure you dont have any cavities."
"Why?"
"Because that is what dentists do."
"Why?"
"Because the stars are in the sky."
"Huh?"

"I wish I had a pretty pink dress like you, Princess"
"Why?"
"Because I like pink."
"Why?"
"Because pickles are green."
"Huh?"

"Mom, can you play Play Doh wif me?"
"Sure, as soon as I am finished folding laundry."
"Why?"
"Because it needs to be folded so I can put the wet clothes in the dryer."
"Why?"
"Because flowers are pretty."
"Huh?"

Does anyone else want to scream after these conversations?
Do you think it is fun to give answers that make absolutely no sense?
Am I a horrible parent?
I thought so.
Maybe I should teach her the correct words to this song.....but I love to hear her make up her own.
I am going to Hell.


Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

I Vlogged!!!!!!!!!!!! About my closet!!!!!!!!

Only my sister in law can convince me to vlog.
Once upon a time, I swore I would never do it, but for her, no problem.
Except I am not on camera.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Yes, I am a Nervous Nelly.
A Shy Sally.
Don't judge.
It isn't easy being all Oprah-like on camera, especially when you arent making a gazillion dollars.

So, here it is.
A tour of my closet.
You can now sleep better at night knowing where Momma gets dressed....and Mr. Momma.
You can also be thankful that you have much more fashion sense than me.
If sweatshirts and jeans were the hottest trend out there, everyone would want to be just like me.

But, they aren't, so I will just continue living my life out of style.
Until I win a gazillion dollars so I can afford a stylist, like Oprah.
But I guess I would have to be on camera like Oprah too......
No thanks.


And just for fun, I have given you a video of Princess' closet.
Don't judge the messy.

Randomness

Hi.
Prepare yourselves.
I am PMSing big time.
You might want to sit down.

*I am frustrated. Frustrated at myself for being frustrated because I said I wouldn't be this way. I started this blog as a way to document our lives. As a way to express myself through words and photos. But I feel like I am currently stale. My readership isn't growing and I find myself getting upset about this.

Frustrating.

I enjoy comments. I enjoy knowing that people love or hate my stuff. Criticism or appreciation. I just need to know that it is all being read or I might just go private.

Bitchy of me? Maybe.
Remember, I am PMSing........

Lets move on.

*A conversation with my daughter.
"Mom,I have to go poo again"
"Oh no, do you have an upset tummy?"
"No. I have an upset bum."

*Random pic of daughter and I coming out of a poo-smelling Porta-potty, just because we are talking about bums and poop.

You're welcome.
*Speaking of poop, oldest child recently said his speech in front of his class.  $10 to the person who guesses the topic....or maybe just a shoutout on the blog.  I had an upset tummy all day because it totally brought me back to my childhood speech days.
I hated standing in front of the class.
My husband, on the other hand, always won speech competitions.
Jerk.


*Middle child was sick with anxiety and stress for 2 weeks leading up to a math test.
Test results.....second highest mark in class.

*Heard this song recently.
I remembered every single word and sang along to it just like I did as a teen.
Rock on.


Then I felt the need to hear this song.
I still love it.
You should too.


And this one.
Party on Dude.


*I have been exercising more.  Even running.
Every muscle/tissue/ligament/bone in my body hurts.
I'm old.

*When I go the gym,I always choose locker #69.
Lets discuss this weird behaviour of mine.

*Random picture of Smokey the barn cat just because I enjoy her.


That's it.
That's all.That's all I've got

I love watching my children be happy. Even if it puts us in the Poor House

Messy is a typical 10 year old boy.
He enjoys video games, the computer, sleeping in, the History Channel,  junk food and being as lazy as he possibly can.
The kid actually tried to quit his chores because he didn't like them.
Serious.

Anyways, one of the few things that gets him excited and on his feet is horses.
Duke, to be specific.
He loves Duke.
And Duke loves him.
Duke doesn't love me, but that is OK because I like Ike better anyways.

Na Na Na Na poo poo!

Anyways, Messy has it in his head that he is going to "show" Duke at local fairs.
My interpretation of "showing a horse"
*purchasing a very expensive horse trailer to transport horse to local fair
*paying for expensive fuel to take expensive horse trailer and horse to local fair
*grooming to make the horse shiny and beautiful
*dressing horse in expensive "show" bling bling
*praying that the horse behaves and doesn't trample anyone
*walking/running with them in a circle
*going home with a ribbon....or nothing

Whatever.
I love my kid and whatever makes him smile, makes me smile.

Being around Dukers makes him happy.

And maybe...just maybe, one day he will win a ton of money so we can afford his expensive hobbies.

I am old. Just ask my children.

Remember when you were young and knew everything about everything and thought your parents were old, didn't know anything and were out of touch with what is cool?
Yeah, I have hit the olddontknowanythingoutoftouchwithwhatiscool stage and it is great fun being made fun of by my children.
Apparently the song "Sexy and I know it" is the best song ever. To me, it just looks like a bunch of party animals shaking their jewels.    

And this is a pretty good song too but is getting "old" don't ya know? To me, this guy has a really annoying voice after you hear it over and over again.
 Apparently it is cool for 7 year olds to wear droopy pants with plaid boxers hanging out at the top. And it is funny to see how many gummies you can stick in your mouth before Mom notices. Farting is a skill. And belching is great fun while sitting at the dinner table. Wearing gloves and hats is totally for little kids.......until they have to stand outside to wait for the bus.  Calling each other a "bastard bitch" makes sense. Teaching your sister to say the a-word makes all of your friends laugh. Signing out a super cross magazine from the school library because there are pictures of women in bikinis is totally fine....for a 7 year old. Giving the argument that it is OK to stay up until 930pm on a school night because then you will love me tomorrow makes total sense...to a 9 year old.  I am still baffled.  Minecraft is the greatest game ever invented and all 9 year old children should be allowed to sit at the computer for 24 hours at a time building crap out of bricks.If 9 year old children are not allowed to do this, then apparently their Mother is old, mean and are not allowing their children to learn valuable skills.Because maybe they will be designers, architects or high paid engineers when they grow up. A pretty genius attempt at convincing the Mother that she knows nothing.Except I know something. I need the computer to blog.

A {very} short story and a video.

Tomorrow my life changes.

Peace Out.

Parenting Advice Needed. Thanks Muchly.

Hockey.
Soccer.
Karate.
Baseball/T-ball.
Skateboarding.
Cooking.
Swimming.
Day Camp.
Basketball.

The boys have done it all.  The money we have spent on sports and activities for our children makes me want to scream.  The fact that they hate it all makes me want to do the ugly cry, sit in a corner and rock back and forth.

The boys do not enjoy any sort of organized activity.  They do not enjoy any sort of team sport.  They hate it all.

For years, middle child cried, screamed and held on to my leg whenever he had to participate in an activity.
The moments watching him lay on the ice crying for 30 minutes still gives me the shakes.
And the many times he sounded like a tortured animal in the swimming pool still brings tears to my eyes.

-2007-

Now they just flat out refuse to join any sort of..well..anything, and it upsets me.

The exercise.
The socialization.
The time away from the TV and computer.
The time listening to someone other than their Mom and Dad.
The friends they could make.
The possibility of becoming a rich, famous star so they could buy their Momma a new car.
Or house.
And the fact that I know that they would both excel if they just tried...and stuck with it.

The swimming is a non negotiable.  They know that it is something they have to continue until they grow gills but the rest....I just don't know what to do.

Do I wait until they find something themselves?
Do I force the issue and continue to spend loads of $$$ on things they hate?

Help a Momma out here.

Ciao Clyde.

We used to have a bunny. His name was Clyde and we all loved him dearly. One night many years ago, our little family of four took a trip to the pet store just for an outing.
They had a cage with two adorable lop-eared bunnies given up because the owner passed away.
I was in love.
Then we brought them home and I realized, that, like my children, bunnies were alot of work.
And they stunk.

But we stuck to our responsibilities and loved them even though they were messy and stinky.
I still have my kids too.
I deserve an award.

Clyde's sister, Bonnie passed away unexpectedly a few years ago, but Clyde, even though he was broken hearted and lonely, kept kicking. Literally.

Until last week when his old body got tired and he went to Bunny Heaven to be with his sister.
*sniff*

The children were upset. They planned a memorial service. I videotaped it.
They don't look too upset in the video, but they were. Take my word.
They.Did.The.Ugly.Cry
More than once.
Honest.
  

Go here for more WW stuff

I am Canadian

...and I am so very proud.
Watch this video, then tell me you want to be a Canadian too.



Happy Birthday to my country...my home.