This is me trying to enjoy the little things in the midst of craptastic weather.

I am trying my hardest to enjoy small things as March enters with a big, fat, snowy roar.
I gave myself a little pep talk......ummmm....OK....I told myself to snap the F$%^ out of my funk and open my eyes up to all that is wonderful and sparkly and unicorn-ish and rainbow-y.
Then I ate a few {hundred} animal crackers because I am so addicted to them.

So, lets enjoy the small things, shall we?
Like animal crackers.
They are small and cute and oh so effing yummy.

I also enjoy watching Jersey the dog run outside in the snow.
It's snowy and -20 something, but he is completely happy running and jumping and burying his face in the powdery stuff I hate so much.

Less carbs make me feel better.

I think I have finally figured out that carbs and my body do not get along.

Bread makes me feel crappy.

Breadless sandwiches are deelish.

Less dairy.

Less carbs.

No soda.

No processed crap.

Give me a pat on the back for making this huge lifestyle change.

Jared Leto.

Hes kinda small....and pretty.

And he thanks his mom in his Oscar acceptance speech.

Thumbs up for pretty boys who love their Mama.

One of my perfect children is trying out for the school basketball team.

The same child who screamed at day camp, skating lessons, swimming lessons, babysitting, first day of school.

The same child who has anxiety months before any event or special occasion.

If he makes the team, I will certainly do the ugly cry.

And I will probably hug the coach and love him forever for giving my kid the self esteem he needs to love himself as much as I do.

Today I went to the dentist.

I had no cavities.

No tumours on my sinuses or jaw.

No bone wear.

No gum disease.

And I didn't gag while getting xrays.

Yay, me!

Spring is soon.

Amen, hallelujah.

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Have You Ever?

Dude, we are in the midst of a very cold and snowy Hell.
The snow just wont stop.
The cold wont go away.
I need a haircut.  I need my gray hair coloured.  I need colour in my skin.  I need groceries.  I need fresh air.  I NEED WINTER TO BE OVER goshdarndangit.

But it sure is pretty.......


Have you ever wished for less snow/cold/wind?


Have you ever watched your children build snow forts and remember doing the same as a child?


Have you ever felt sorry for the trees?


Have you ever wondered if your skin will look like this in 50-60 years?


Have you ever rubbed your horse's ears because they are just so damn cute?


Have you ever wished your dog wouldn't fetch his ball so you could go in the house where its warm?

Is it snowy there? Cold? Wanna move to the south with me???

Jersey the {Typical} GSD

The other day as I watched my dog wander across the road after yelling "No" 2979385794367 times, shaking the treat bag, turning on the vacuum, stomping my feet and almost doing the ugly cry in our driveway while wearing my pyjamas, I had a thought.

OK, I had a few thoughts.

But the thought I want to talk about here is this......

......Jersey the dog is too smart for me.


I mean, really.  If a scary woman was yelling at me to "come", when all I really want to do is check out the fun smells across the road, I would run the other way.

And that is what he did.
Because he wanted to.
Because he knew that there really was no way that I could stop him.

I'm pretty sure he laughed at me as he ran in the field to eat bunny shit.
Whatever.


So I went to the store looking for "Pet Containment Systems" because I just cant do the ugly cry in my driveway anymore over this animal who constantly wins. Guys, guess what?????
Every photo on every box was a German Shepherd!!!!!!!!!! FML.

I had another thought......
....Jersey the dog might just be a typical German Shepherd.

For months I have been convinced he suffered PTSD because of coccidia/a kick from a horse/cutting his paw open/a whack to the eye from a tree branch....but, nope.
He fits in with the description of the breed.

Highly active indoors
Highly active outdoors
Highly vigorous and energetic
Highly dominant to strange dogs
Moderately dominant to familiar people
Highly territorial
Low sociability with strangers
Highly protective
Brilliant



People, I need a dumb dog.
One who listens to me when I call because he wants a treat or a pat on the head.
One who is too afraid to venture out into the world because he loves me so much he would never want to leave.
One who prefers belly rubs to playing fetch 6 hours a day.

But instead, I have Jersey. 
The dog who constantly tests my sanity. The dog who is allergic to poultry.
The dog who protects my daughter from the blow dryer because he thinks it is a gun.
The dog who herds Cindy the horse into the barn.
The dog who toboggans.


I guess I will keep him, but maybe I could get a little Shih Tzu or something too.
Oh, wait, Jersey might eat it......


     

Favourite Photos of 2013. We spell "favourite" with a "u" here in Canada.

OK, I am not going to lie, but getting back into this blogging thing is kinda like...ummm...hard.
I mean, what do I write about?
What do people want to read?
How can I stay authentic to myself while making everyone happy?
The stress is creating zits and pimples on my middle age face.

*snort*

That is hilarious because I always have zits on my face.
Just breathing causes my skin to break out, but whatever.
Maybe one day I will talk about zits....
....and poop....
....and maybe other gross bodily functions because that stuff is hilarious.

But today I am sharing my favourite photos of 2013.
Just because.

Sooooooo I went through the few thousand photos I took last year and picked out my very favourite from each month.
It was hard.
Not because all my photos were wonderful, but because each photo reminded me of the exact moment I took it.
Each moment=my life.
I cherish the moments/people/animals/memories even if some of them were horrible.
I don't care what anyone says.
There is nothing I treasure more than my photo,s and,  if you're one of those people who takes a picture and never prints it, shame on you.  One day you will regret it and so will those younger than you who want to know all about the moments in your life.
Deep thoughts.
You're welcome.

So here goes.....

Jersey the Dog.
Still alive after his many health and behavioural issues.
Actually, I think this photo was taken before the memorable corgi attack at the pet store.

My baby girl who still looked like my baby.
Something happened throughout the rest of the year.
She grew up.
*sniff*

Saying goodbye to my Daddy's beloved motorcycle with a gazillion photos.
"Biker Bob" as he was known in his biking circle of friends, loved this bike and had many plans for his retirement with this beauty and his Biker Babe {aka my Mommy}.
Enough about that because it makes me sad.

A moment between my oldest boy child and Duke the horse.
I remember this exact moment and the joy he felt as he led Duke up and down the driveway all by himself.

Middle child.
He is handsome.

My baby brother became a Daddy.
I fell in love with my niece.

My son with his 97 year old Great Grandfather.
The Great Grandfather who still packages up cookies and candy for the kids every time they visit.
The Great Grandfather who loves his Great Grandchildren more than anything. My kids only living Grandfather.

My life in one picture.

The first day of school.
There were no tears. There was no stress. Only excitement about the year ahead.
My heart was happy.....because they were.

We have a patch of trees out in the horse pasture that I love alot.
One day I plan on having a pretty sitting area there so I can sit with my girly drink and bon bons and just hang out with the equines.

Disneyworld.
Just making more memories.
This memory included some moans and groans and "Mom, you're taking too many pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

This is my niece whom I fell in love with in June.
In December, I loved her even more.

And, just because I like to change things up once in awhile, I am throwing in one more photo.
I tagged along on my hubby's business trip to Alberta and fell in love with the province.

Dear Lake Louise.
You're pretty.
But cold.
I would've stayed longer if I wore better shoes.
And wasn't afraid of bears eating me.
Love Vikki
Happy 2014!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

A Story About Jersey the Dog

I am pretty sure that German Shepherds are smarter than humans.
This is one of the reasons why Jersey and I have...umm....difficult moments.

Because I am used to dumb dogs.
I enjoy dogs who are low on the IQ scale.
Studley was dumb.........

Anyways, something happened today that confirmed Jersey's high intelligence.

Yes, he gets his ball when I ask him to.
Yes, he goes to his food dish when I ask him if he wants some food.
Yes, he goes to the van when I ask him if he wants to go for a car ride.
But, this?
This was different.

Jersey and I were playing ball.

He loves to play ball, and, I love to wear him out so he conks out for a few hours.
Everyone ends up happy.

Yay for tired dogs!

Somehow, Jersey's ball ended up in the kids sandbox.
I don't know how it happened, but I am absolutely, positively sure it had nothing to do with my awesome throw.
Hmph.

His ball was dirty.
He wasn't happy.
He looked at me with total disgust.
I am pretty sure he was calling me the "b" word in his head.

So, I waited.
...and waited.
Until he finally picked it up quickly and dropped it on the grass before glaring at me again with his "You suck" eyes.

Whatever.

I sat down with my camera close by.
And, the brilliant canine did this.



Holy crap, guys.
He laid on the grass and pushed the ball with his nose.....over and over again.
Then he pawed it.....obsessively, until the ball was almost clean.

Ehrmagerd!

He cleaned his own fricking ball, and then brought it to me with his "Don't mess up the next throw, biotch" look.
And I didn't.

But, I am thinking about teaching him how to do my laundry.  Linking up with DudeMom
and

Stuff

I have owned my Nikon DSLR for a few years now and finally opened the Owners Manual on Tuesday.  I have come to the conclusion that I will never understand aperture, f-stop or depth of field.
And to be honest, I don't know if I want to because, then, I would put too much pressure on myself and freak out and do the ugly cry....over a photograph.
No thanks.
Stress sucks balls.

On another note, I discovered that the reason some of my photos weren't clear was because I had the VR {vibration reduction} turned off.  And, I also discovered the Movie mode.

Doh.

Anyways, that has nothing to do with this post.

Firstly, I took yearly photos of my beloved babies wearing their Daddy's shirt and Mommy's apron.

They are good looking peeps, aren't they?
All was going superbly until Jersey the dog wanted in on the photo session.

He knows how to make it memorable.

Secondly, husband and I have had many difficult discussions this week about life, money, family....and the possibility of a big move out west.
No final decisions yet, but I am one step closer to a nervous breakdown thank you very much.
Pass the booze.

Thirdly, this picture of my toothless 5 year old.
Best. Ever.
Tell me you didn't smile....or giggle......


Fourthly, today, during the school assembly,  I had that moment.
That moment when I realized this is the last year I will ever have a child in Kindergarten. *sniff*

Fifthly, we have major construction on our country road.
My boys are loving the mud and dirt and machinery and mud and mud and mud.


Sixthly, Barbara Walters needs to retire....yesterday.

And, last, but certainly not least.
This video about poop.
You're welcome.

Happy weekend y'all.

 

This Dog

So, Jersey the dog turned 1 in August.
Actually, he turned one on August one.
And my husband bought him gifts.
True story.

I think his gift should have been us still owning him after all of the grief he has caused me, but, whatever.
He is loved.
Most of the time.

This dog loves his birthday Frisbee so much that he sleeps with it, if we let him.
I don't usually let him though, because he is very protective of it, and if a human goes near it when he has it, they might lose their fingers. Let me rephrase that. If I go near it when he has it, I come close to losing my fingers.
Hmph.

This dog eats flies.
And ants.
And any other moving bug.

This dog loves belly rubs.
Kisses and hugs from children.
And he loves chasing cats.
Speaking of cats.........two of our babies have disappeared. I am too distraught to talk about it, so lets move on, shall we?

This dog has big ears.
Large paws.
A long bushy tail.
And the longest tongue I have ever seen.

This dog loves to greet the construction workers on our road.
Except the construction workers are afraid of him and run back to their trucks when they see him coming. One day I might videotape it.
This dog is 1 year old. Full of energy. Happy. And loved.   Linking up with Tuesday Muse Sweet Shot Tuesday Wordful Wednesday and Rurality.

Best Moments of the Summer.....so far.

I wish I could tell you I am one of those parents who plans educational outings for her kids every day during summer holidays.
I wish I was crafty.
And fun.
And happy that my kids are home for nineeffingweeksstraight.

But I am not.

Let me rephrase that.

I love my kids.
I would be ecstatic to have my kids home every day if they didn't argue every .56 seconds.
But they do.
Which makes me want to drink 24/7 until I am so numb and out of it that I can sit in a lawn chair and giggle while they beat the crap out of each other.

FML.

Anyways........

we are 4 weeks into this Hell and there are a few memorable moments to share so far.

*Like the time daughter got 97428946967 mosquito bites and needed a constant high of Benadryl to stop the itch.

*Or the time our office/den wall looked like it was painted black overnight, but it was really just ants.


*Ohhhhh....there was the time we took Jersey the dog to the Holistic Vet and paid $314 for him to tell us to come back in three weeks.


*And the time I lost my shit on one of my kids because he was making the most annoying noises ever.   *That time Cindy the Pony came to live here and was thisclose to pooping on my foot. That was fun.

*There was also the day that Princess Kate had her baby boy and it totally brought me back to the day 11 years ago when we welcomed our 8+ pound little Prince.
Except I didn't have to greet the media and millions of excited humans 24 hours later looking all awesome with perfectly styled hair, a pretty polka dot dress, cute little empty uterus and blemish-free skin.
{Instead, I was still fat, full of zits, major bloated in the face, had unkempt hair and the darkest under eye circles known to exist.  Whatever}

Hmph.

And how is your summer going????