Stuff

I have owned my Nikon DSLR for a few years now and finally opened the Owners Manual on Tuesday.  I have come to the conclusion that I will never understand aperture, f-stop or depth of field.
And to be honest, I don't know if I want to because, then, I would put too much pressure on myself and freak out and do the ugly cry....over a photograph.
No thanks.
Stress sucks balls.

On another note, I discovered that the reason some of my photos weren't clear was because I had the VR {vibration reduction} turned off.  And, I also discovered the Movie mode.

Doh.

Anyways, that has nothing to do with this post.

Firstly, I took yearly photos of my beloved babies wearing their Daddy's shirt and Mommy's apron.

They are good looking peeps, aren't they?
All was going superbly until Jersey the dog wanted in on the photo session.

He knows how to make it memorable.

Secondly, husband and I have had many difficult discussions this week about life, money, family....and the possibility of a big move out west.
No final decisions yet, but I am one step closer to a nervous breakdown thank you very much.
Pass the booze.

Thirdly, this picture of my toothless 5 year old.
Best. Ever.
Tell me you didn't smile....or giggle......


Fourthly, today, during the school assembly,  I had that moment.
That moment when I realized this is the last year I will ever have a child in Kindergarten. *sniff*

Fifthly, we have major construction on our country road.
My boys are loving the mud and dirt and machinery and mud and mud and mud.


Sixthly, Barbara Walters needs to retire....yesterday.

And, last, but certainly not least.
This video about poop.
You're welcome.

Happy weekend y'all.

 

A tour of my mudroom/foyer thingy. My children. And poop. All in one post.

Wassup Dawgs??!!
That's me pretending to be cool, but it really sounded horrible right?

This week, Kelly is showcasing foyers and because I like to be unique, I am interpreting "foyer" as "mud room".
They are the same thing right?

Anyways, here is a very quick tour that I give you myself with alot of "um"s, "whatever"s and "I don't know"s thrown in just for shits and giggles.

I used to dream about being a journalist on the local news, but now I am convinced that I would have gotten fired after saying "um" 17392759834678942679 times in the first 2 minutes.
Apparently I am not all that great at public speaking.
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I knew that in Grade 5 when I had to present a science project with my best friend on hamster mazes and I nearly pooped my pants.
And then when I did a speech on Cancer and almost vomited all over the chalkboard.
And the time I sang oTannenbaum in front of the school during the Christmas concert and had to clench my bum cheeks to hold in the poop soup.
Did I just say that?

Where was I?
Oh yeah....the tour......



Annnnnd.....on a completely unrelated note.
I tried to take photos of my children all dressed up the other day because it doesn't happen very often.
This is what I got.
I would say they provide an accurate depiction of my children's personalities, and how they feel about having their photo taken.


They are still freakishly good looking, even with a mouthful of food, tongue hanging out and while cleaning horse crap out of their shoes.
These beautiful creatures entered the world from my womanly parts.
It amazes me every single day.

To see more foyers, check out Kelly's link up here.
For more photostory stuff, go see the worlds bestest photographer here.


Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

A True Story.

I was remembering a time I was at a house party thrown by someone I had never met, but he knew who I was there with, so it was totally ok. I think. Anyways, I was remembering a bunch of us went out for a fancy dinner before going to the party and I had a baked potato with sour cream.

Except I think the sour cream had been sitting in a warm room for approximately 6 months before they served it to well paying stupid people like me.

Fast forward a few hours later as we sat at this party.
The rumbly in my tumbly began and I just ignored it hoping that it would just go away.
It didnt.
I waddled my way to the bathroom hoping I didnt poop my pants on the way and found about 7 people waiting in line.
CHATUGSVXHJVHNVHYDFYUFDGUJBJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever pooped your pants as an adult?
I wasthisclose until I completely ran in as soon as the door opened and before anyone could stop me.

It was kinda like this scene.
Except the toilet flushed {Thank goodness}.
And there were 7 very angry people standing there when I opened the door.

True story.
It was horrifying at the time.
Now.....frickin hilarious.

Watching this clip is what brought me to a full on belly laugh after 3 weeks of sadness.
Thank you Dumb and Dumber.

Lets discuss.
Share your poop soup stories so I can laugh some more.
Please.
And thank you.


*Psst...tomorrow I am doing a Random Tuesday post. Get yours together and you can link up with me here.

Randomness

Hi.
Prepare yourselves.
I am PMSing big time.
You might want to sit down.

*I am frustrated. Frustrated at myself for being frustrated because I said I wouldn't be this way. I started this blog as a way to document our lives. As a way to express myself through words and photos. But I feel like I am currently stale. My readership isn't growing and I find myself getting upset about this.

Frustrating.

I enjoy comments. I enjoy knowing that people love or hate my stuff. Criticism or appreciation. I just need to know that it is all being read or I might just go private.

Bitchy of me? Maybe.
Remember, I am PMSing........

Lets move on.

*A conversation with my daughter.
"Mom,I have to go poo again"
"Oh no, do you have an upset tummy?"
"No. I have an upset bum."

*Random pic of daughter and I coming out of a poo-smelling Porta-potty, just because we are talking about bums and poop.

You're welcome.
*Speaking of poop, oldest child recently said his speech in front of his class.  $10 to the person who guesses the topic....or maybe just a shoutout on the blog.  I had an upset tummy all day because it totally brought me back to my childhood speech days.
I hated standing in front of the class.
My husband, on the other hand, always won speech competitions.
Jerk.


*Middle child was sick with anxiety and stress for 2 weeks leading up to a math test.
Test results.....second highest mark in class.

*Heard this song recently.
I remembered every single word and sang along to it just like I did as a teen.
Rock on.


Then I felt the need to hear this song.
I still love it.
You should too.


And this one.
Party on Dude.


*I have been exercising more.  Even running.
Every muscle/tissue/ligament/bone in my body hurts.
I'm old.

*When I go the gym,I always choose locker #69.
Lets discuss this weird behaviour of mine.

*Random picture of Smokey the barn cat just because I enjoy her.


That's it.
That's all.That's all I've got

I need drugs....and zit cream...and softer toilet paper

Hi.
I am alive.  Barely.
Apparently, my body felt the need to go to Hell and get all sick and stuff at a time when I am too busy to be sick.
I think it was the Universe's way to tell me to sit down and breathe.
Except I cant breathe because my nose is full of snot and my lungs are full of lung snot and my body hurts and I cough so much that I almost bring up my breakfast.And I had the poops.Like poop soup, poops.
Fun times.

And I have a zit.
The kind of zit that grows under the skin to the point of feeling like there is a huge alien about to escape from my chin.
So I try to help it along.
Except it doesn't do anything.
Except bruise my skin and hurt even more.
What did I ever do to deserve getting more zits at the age of 36 than as a teenager?So, until I get better or go to the doctor begging for strong drugs, I will sit with tissues stuck up my nostrils feeling sorry for myself.

Pray for me.
And my hubby who has to look at me with tissues stuck up my nose and a huge bruised zit on my chin.
Thanks.

Poop

This is a post about poop.  This is a post about me pooping.  Don't judge.  We all do it.


When I am in different places, my system gets freaked out.
If I am somewhere unusual or new, my body reacts by telling me to find a bathroom fast.
Really fast.
Like before I crap my pants fast.
It really is some sort of cruel, psychological joke that my body likes to play on me and, to be quite honest, it ticks me off.

I must know where a bathroom is at all times because my worst fear is being somewhere different and not being near a bathroom.
It is normal for me to scope out the washroom before enjoying myself.
Once I know where the washroom is and know that I am close to it, I can relax (alittlebit).
But if I don't know where it is, my body senses that we are in foreign territory and in an "unsafe zone" so it freaks out.
And...well...you know.

It is totally shitty.
Pun intended.

Poo

My kid pooped in a Pull Up.

The biggest poop of her entire 2 1/2 years of life.

Pull Ups do not hold gigantic messy poops.  Just ask my sofa.....and my carpet....and my table....and my feet.

Um, yeah.

Have I mentioned that I throw up easily?

I have been changing bums for almost 9 years.  That doesnt include the years I worked wth children....and seniors.  So, when I think about it, I have been changing bums for almost half of my life.

I.Am.So.Done.

Until the next poop.

*Do you have a small business and are looking to promote your product?  I am doing a week of giveaways/discounts very, very soon.  Email me and we can chit chat