Dear Beach and Warm Weather,

Momma is on her way.

Introducing....

When I was a little girl, I loved horses.
But I was afraid of them.
They were so big. So unpredictable. So big.Then I grew up and worked for a Large Animal Veterinarian.
Ironic huh?

The girl who was afraid of horses now had to go to horse farms and assist in the care of these very large, unpredictable creatures.

I fell in love with these animals.
The man I married loves these animals.
And now my children have fallen in love.

Guess what?
We now own one of them.
His name is Duke.

He hasnt come to live here yet, but I am already madly in love.

When I was a little girl, I loved horses.
And now I am not afraid of them.




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Learned Lessons

This is me in grade school.
This is me, in grade school, standing in line at the cafeteria, chewing gum.
This is me chewing gum in a school that did not allow chewing gum.
This is me showing my friends how cool I was because I could blow HUGE bubbles.

Lessons learned.
Do not chew gum in school.
Do not try to be cool because when you try, it always backfires.
Do not blow HUGE gum bubbles just as the school principal is walking by.
You cannot shove HUGE gum bubbles back in your mouth before the school principal notices no matter how hard you try.
Do not blow HUGE bubbles in front of your future husband (in grade school, at the cafeteria) because he will remind you for the next 25 years.

The End


I bet Mama Kat never did something so stupid.

Randomness

I have thoughts roaming through my head. Random bits of nothing that just need to be let out.
So I can make room for more.
Because that is how I survive.
Instead of gathering loads and loads of important information to stimulate my mind and allow me to grow as an intelligent human being, I fill my brain with unimportant crap......and then unload it all to make room for more.

*Studley rolled in shit. I dont know if it was his own...or the dog's up the street...or even coyote crap, but I guess it doesn't matter.
What does matter is that he felt the need to roll in crap, come back in the house and then roll around on the carpet and along the sofa.
I yelled...called him a few names.
And then lured him into the shower with a bag of treats and fed him those treats while cleaning crap off his body.

Afterwards, I realized that he will now roll in crap every day if it means a warm shower and a bag of treats.

Duh.

*My kids call everyone "Bob" and it annoys me

*Bitch


Random thoughts while running the track
*"I shouldn't have eaten that Chinese food"
*"I shouldn't be wearing thongs"
*"I am too old for this crap"
*"I need some chocolate"

*Another group to join. Another time waster. But oh so funny.

*My little brother is getting married next week.  How is this possible?  How did we both become grown ups?  I still think of him as the little bugger who steals the remote control and plays with G.I Joe.  Now he is this...umm...adult.....who does adult things. 
Like get married. 

I am old.

Not just because my little brother is getting married, but because I have gray hairs and wrinkles to show for it.  Not to mention the droopy boobs and the lumps and bumps.

On that note, I must say that I get joy out of seeing people I grew up with {that were horrible and mean spirited} who look old...and...um..horrible.

Does that make me horrible and mean spirited?

I am going to Hell.

This gal is funny and I want to hang out with her.Instead of introducing myself, I just stalk her.That's normal right?

Sunday Citar

“There was a star danced, and under that was I born.”
-William Shakespeare  Today my father is 60 years young.
I am blessed.

Go here to see more

Joy.

Invite 14 friends.
Rent a trampoline place.
Order pizza.
Buy a cake.
Allow 14 kids to jump....and leap....and flip....and flop.
Before the pizza and cake of course.

Lots of smiles.
A million giggles.
Pure joy.


Watching my children experience joy makes me feel...um....joyful.

Go see more PSF stuff here

Finding Balance in Your Life as a Parent

Two words.
Not.Possible.Sure, I could give you a big speech on how to put yourself first and do things you love. I could tell you how to get help from others and take turns babysitting the neighbourhood brats so you can get out of the house.
I could tell you to hire cleaning ladies and admit to yourself that it is OK to have unfolded laundry. I could even tell you to make lists, use coupons, prepare weekly meal plans and give your kids chores.
But I wont.
Because none of it works and no matter what you do to balance your life, shit always happens and the balance doesn't exist.

You're welcome.

Check out Mama Kat's assignment subjects this week.  I am sure her life is perfectly balanced.

Quick Grammy Awards Recap.

It was my most favourite television evening of the year.
A night I look forward to because I don't have a life.
A night where I can get some fashion ideas.
A night when I can feel sorry for myself because I dont have millions of dollars, perky boobs and cellulite-free skin.

I enjoyed Eminem and Rihanna.
I even liked Justin Bieber.
I said WTF the entire time Bob Dylan was screeching.
And I wondered how long Mick Jagger has been dead.

But what I really saw was something that has been missing from my life.
Something I need to complete my life and bring happiness that I never thought was attainable.
An egg.


When I die and come back as another human being, I want a body like this.



I am not quite sure why he is trying to look like Johnny Depp, but I still love him and feel the need to post a picture of my boyfriend.
Just because.


What did you love/hate about the Grammy Awards?


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9

I love this boy because he likes ranch dressing on everything he eats.
I love this boy because he hugs his little sister when she gets hurt.
I love this boy because he is independent.
And stubborn.

I love this boy because he likes to sit at the grown up table and just listen.
I did that too.I love this boy because he enjoys reading.As long as it isnt scary stuff like Harry Potter.
.
I love this boy because he protects his brother in tough times.
The brother that he says he hates.
But really he loves him more than anyone.

I love this boy because he gives me his forehead when I want a kiss.
But will hug, kiss and tell me he loves me on his own terms.
Kinda like a cat.
I love this boy because he doesnt wear underwear.Just because.
I love this boy because he thinks it is cool to wear a cowboy hat over a toque to school.
Ugh.I love this boy because he is my boy.My first born.The love of my life.

My boy is 9 today.
And I am having a very tough time with this.
Hold me.

Cold. In Pictures.

Cold.I hate that word for so many reasons.
Especially living up here in the far north.
Also known as Canada.At this time of the year I am sad to say that we are living up to our reputation of wearing toques, living in the snow and surviving in minus gazillion degrees {celsius} weather.
In our homes of course.  No igloos here.
Unless there is an area of town I dont know about.But anyways, there are no artsy fartsy pictures in this post.
Just scenes of coldness outside of my door because it was too cold to walk anywhere.
Hmph.
Icicle hanging down off of the barn roof.  As you can see, the sun was shining so I caught drips in motion without even trying.  If only I could photograph the stuff I actually try to capture.

Studley. Tummy deep in the snow. I am sure, in his mind he was calling me bad names.

Drifts.

My favourite "cluster" of trees in our back field.

Bench.







More pictures of cold here.

Pishers

"Mommy, take funny face pishers pwease"
"Ok. Make a funny face"
"No, Mom. Vis not a funny face. It's a Pwincess face""Yes, honey.  Whatever you say"


I still think she is as pretty as a Princess.  No matter what kind of face she makes.




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Snippets

*I am now officially the Mother of a screamer, non-stop talker and all around Diva. Forget about the "terrible twos". I believe that the third year is one that needs to be skipped.

Or one where Mommies are allowed to take a 1 year vacation from Motherhood.

*I am so sick and tired of seeing snow. And driving in snow. And putting boots/hats/mitts/snow pants on my argumentative children.

Come soon spring. Please.

*My soon to be sister in law celebrated her upcoming nuptials to my little brother last weekend. Her bestie gave her a "penis lei" {necklace}. I am thinking about asking if I can borrow it when I go shopping just to get a reaction and to meet new friends.

*Conversation between my almost 3 year old Diva and her brothers.

"Hi Princess. Come sit on the couch with us"
"Shut up weasels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*I didn't watch the Super Bowl.  Not even one minute of it.

*Song my boys have been singing around the house
"Look at my buns, my coconuts and my big banana"

*True story. I {secretly} grab handfuls of Lucky Charms cereal...only eat the marshmallows and put the cereal back in the box. I yell at my children when they do the same thing.

*I want this.

You can buy it for me here

*I enjoy hearing about blog conferences and how great they are...and how nice everyone is...and the free stuff people get...and the great speeches...and the famous guests.  But what I would enjoy more is if a company would sponsor me so I could go.

Just sayin'.

More randomness here.

Running and Pain go together like Chocolate and Milk

So a few weeks ago I had this brilliant idea to become a runner. I had this vision in my head of me running in a bathing suit and nothing jiggling in the breeze.

Kinda like the Baywatch girls...but me.

Create your own FACEinHOLE

I have been going to the gym to lift weights and tone my jiggly parts.
Running at the track with my running shorts and Ipod.
Tanning to camouflage my "Mommy Lines" if you know what I mean.

And my body has decided to yell very loudly at me

"WTF are you thinking? You have never been a runner and you think now that you decide at the age of 35 to become all healthy, that I am just going to...umm....move? You are out of your flippin mind!!!"


My body is fighting me with all it can.
My feet hurt.
My legs hurt.
My mind prefers to just sit on the couch and tries to talk me into it every single day.
My tummy likes chocolate....and cookies....and soda....and everything that it shouldn't.
My feet hurt.

I am old.

But determined.
I think.