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The other day I was..umm..kinda yelling at my kids because they were wrestling.
I smiled, because I imagined my father sitting beside me.
He would have said sarcastically, "Why don't you have a few more kids?" and then he would have giggled at his humour.
Last week I was in the grocery store and saw a freshly baked Boston Cream Pie.
I smiled because I remembered how much my daddy loved them.
Today I was remembering how much my dad used to hate cats.
Then, all of a sudden he loved them.
So much, that he and mom had a few at home that I think he loved more than me.
I smiled.
On Nicholas' birthday last week, I remembered my daddy standing outside the birthing room waiting for his first grandchild to be born 12 years ago.
He was so excited.
And nervous.
And fell madly in love with his grandson instantly.
I remembered dad "inspecting" Nicholas and how he was completely in awe of his perfection.
I smiled.
A few weeks ago I drove my father's pick up truck.
It still smells like him.
I tried to smile, but I couldn't.
Because he isn't here today, on what would have been his birthday.
12 years ago today I became a mother for the very first time.
After quickly labouring to the pushing stage, my baby decided to stay put.
In fact, he decided to chill out in my uterus until I was so exhausted that I could not push him out.
I am pretty sure he would've been quite content to stay inside until he was a few years old, but, the doc wasn't into it and pulled out the vacuum.
Have you ever tried to push a baby out with a vacuum on his head and your tiny, female doctor pulling so hard, her leg was against the bed?
Fun times, I tell ya.
Eventually, my almost 9 pound baby entered this world unwillingly and I loved him instantly.
He cried....
....and cried....
....and cried...
for hours.
He cried so long that I wanted to put him back inside.
He cried so much that the nurses eventually took him from me because he was disrupting the entire floor.
By that point I was OK with it, and actually thought about making a quick escape back home.
But I didn't.
Because I was so completely in love with my new baby boy.
And I still am.
And always will be.
Happy birthday to my peanut butter addicted, horse loving, messy, sometimes lazy, extremely handsome, growing up too fast big boy.
*sniff*
January 31, 2004, my second born came into this world in a huge rush.
He entered this life with such speed that the doctor missed it.
And since that day, this perfect creation has continued to live by his own schedule.
I love this kid so effing much that it hurts.
I could tell you everything I love about him, but that would take until next month, so, instead read this interview.
It's funny because he hated it so much.............
"Matthew, can I ask you a few questions?"
"No" "It won't take long, I promise"
"OHHHHHH MOM, I HATE THESE THINGS!!!!!!" "One day, you will thank me for doing all of this"
"No I won't"
"Whats your favourite colour?"
"Green"
"TV Show"
"Rick's Restoration.
"Do you mean American Restoration?"
"No"
"Movie?"
"I don't know" "Food?"
"Spaghetti and Hamburger Helper" "Number?"
"1111" "Why?"
"Because its all ones"
"If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?"
"Under the Sea"
"Who is the Prime Minister of Canada?"
"Marack Obama" "President of the United States?"
"Marack Obama" "Wow, he must be a busy guy" "What makes you happy?"
"Going to sleep" "Mad?"
"When Nicholas calls me names" "Sad"
"When Nicholas copies me in a girl voice"
"Tell me one good thing about Dad"
"He buys me Tim Hortons hot chocolate" "Tell me one good thing about Mom"
"She makes me Hamburger Helper"
"How tall do you think you will grow?"
6 foot 3
"Where will you go on your first date?"
"This is dumb" "WHERE?????????????"
"A restaurant" "What will you do there?"
"Give her a smooch"
"Who and what would you take with you if you were stranded on a desert island?"
"Food, water and Dad, because Dad knows about most stuff"
"Are you going to have kids one day?"
"Sure. Maybe 1"
"What do you own right now that you will keep forever?"
"A picture of my family" "Why?"
"So I have memories"
"What kind of car will you drive when you're a grown up?"
"A Ford Super duty Diesel Doctor" "Is that real?"
"YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"What part of being a grown up are you looking forward to the most?
"Being able to tell people what to do"
"What part are you a little afraid of?"
"Paying bills"
"Are we done now?" "Yeah"
Happy birthday to my headstrong, handsome, smart, funny, athletic, affectionate 10 year old.
This past weekend I came to the conclusion that my children are spoiled.
I always had an inkling that we were making their lives a little too perfect, but this year, it is a for sure deal.
The boys celebrate their birthdays 2 weeks apart.
Why husband and I thought it was a good idea to make babies that would be born in the dead of winter, I don't know, but it happened so now we have to deal with our limited choices for birthday parties.
{longest sentence ever}
Anyways, to make a long story short, their special days were celebrated over 3 weekends.
Gift opening on the actual day.
Then Medieval Times with a friend each.
Then a family party.
Fo realz.
Spoiled.
Rowdy aka middle child aka Matthew aka 9 year old aka one spoiled kid
True story. He almost did the ugly cry when he opened up his new work boots to wear around the farm.
Then he wanted to wear them to the mall.
And out for dinner.
Messy aka oldest child aka Nicholas aka 11 year old aka another spoiled kid aka pre-pubescent tween
(hold me)
Medieval Times aka very expensive night out
{Ike and Duke could totally get a job there}
{We were on the blue team. We lost horribly.}
Family Party aka the time I took just one photo because I was tired of celebrating.
Don't judge.
Next year, they get a frozen pizza and ice cream cake.
Maybe........
Today is my fake birthday.
When I was in grade 1, I told everyone in my class, including my teacher, Ms. Stewart that my birthday was December 4th.
My actual birthday is May 13th, but I didn't like it.
May-boring.
13-blech.
I liked December because it was the same month as Christmas.
And 4 was my favourite number.
It seemed logical to me at the time to just change the greatest day of my parents life until I realized that my parents had to go to "Meet the Teacher" night and actually converse with my teacher who thought my birthday was December 4. Until I remembered that they announced birthdays on the loud speaker every morning. Until I realized that my friends would want to come to my party in December instead of May.
Duh.
Then I grew up and realized that birth dates are on every kid's file and Ms.Stewart knew the truth all along.
And.... December isn't that great after all.
Annnnnnnnd my favourite number is really 11....not 4.
So from now on my {fake} birthday will be August 11.
I am jumping on the fun, happening bandwagon and joining Gentri Lee today for her weekly Seven Questions party.
It looks fun and I want to fit in with the young, cool folk.
Because, in my head, I am totally not 37-ish.
In my head, I am still rockin it at 22.
Is "rockin it" a cool term?
Whatever.
1. Bold or Understated?
Sadly, everything about me is understated. I don't have much colour in my wardrobe and my makeup routine consists of under eye concealer and Blistex. My hair is the same style it has been for 20 years...with a few grays added in. When in a crowd, I prefer to hide out in the corner.
Sad, I know.
One day, maybe I will dress in these colours, have the confidence of a Kardashian and actually learn how to put on eye makeup.
But don't count on it.
2. You have to survive alone in the wild and you only get to take one thing with you. Your choices are: A Pocket Knife, a Water Bottle, or a Book. Which do you choose and why?
Oh man. This was a tough one.
I choose a pocket knife because if a snake comes near me, I will have no choice but to chop it up.
I do not enjoy wild creatures that could possibly eat me.
3. Thirty Two Cows, Seven Eight Chickens, How Many Didn't?
Huh?
4. Would you rather die doing one legendary act of service or do small acts of kindness that may go unnoticed every day? Ummmm....I would totally do small acts of kindness, for two reasons. One, because it makes me feel good. Two, because I am understated and prefer to go unnoticed.
5. Happiness is _______. (one word; fill in the blank)
Chocolate.
Specifically Kit Kat chocolate bars, but any chocolate will do thank you very much.
6. Can you laugh without smiling?
This is my attempt.
{Please ignore the zits and triple chins}
I know. That was probably the creepiest video you have ever seen.
I will have nightmares of myself doing that for the next month.
7. Do you pop your knuckles?
Not on purpose.
Should I?
Is that what the cool peeps do?
_______________________________________________________________________________________
If I was a good blogger and grand daughter in law I would have dedicated an entire post to this handsome fellas 96th birthday yesterday.
But, I suck.
96 years old.
Which means he has lived 35 years longer than my dear Daddy did.
We love him.
Cherish him.
And I am pretty sure he can laugh without smiling.
Dear Princess.
Happy Birthday baby girl! You are officially 4 years old {on April 20} and run the house!
I love everything about you.
Your messy hair.
Your dirty face.
The way you put your hands on your hips when telling us stories.
The way you sneak cookies and then tell me "Don't wuh-wy Mom. I'm doin' nuffin."
I love spending my life with you.
If I could keep you this age forever, I would do it in an instant.
*I love you forever.
I like you for always.
As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.
Dear my friend Val.
You are the bestest birthday cake maker in the Universe.
If I could get you to make us a different cake for the rest of my life, I would die happy.
And very fat.
Dear family.
I love you.
I love that we came together during this very difficult time to celebrate the birth of my precious baby girl and made her feel special even though we are all hurting.
Dear Daddy.
It has been 16 days now since you went to Heaven.
We miss you.
Princess is a very lucky girl because she got her very own angel for her birthday.
But the day just wasn't the same without you here with us eating yummy cake.
Dear Blog Readers
Thank you for putting up with me.
I'm just so frickin sad and I miss my Daddy.
hugssmooches
Excuse me while I have a moment.
Or two.
Or three.
My oldest child is 10 years old today.
That means he will never again be a single digit age.
That means he is closer to being a teenager than he is an infant.
That means he is closer to being an adult....
...which means he will be moving out...
...dating...
...getting married...
...and having children.
That means I am old.
And so, so sad at time, and how it seems to go so fast.
I am having a very hard time with this.
I remember the moment I found out he was created...
...the moment I felt him kick.
The moment I saw him for the first time.
When he screamed for 3 hours straight and we thought about sending him back.
I remember his chubby little legs and very large feet.
I remember his big, bright eyes.
His thick hair.
His first freckle.
I remember when he said the word "fuck" over and over again because he really meant "truck".
I remember when he met his baby brother and sister for the very first time.
His first day of school.
Hockey.
Swimming.
Tae Kwon Do.
Beavers.
Day Camp.
Soccer.
Baseball.
I remember when he was obsessed with vaccuums.
And Disney movies.
And Lego.
I am having a very hard time with this.
My boy is 10 today.
The boy who made all my dreams come true.
The boy who created the life that I was meant to live.
He has my heart.
No matter how old he is.
Even when he is a teenager, adult, married with kids and a grandparent.
My heart is his.
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