Reflection

Lately......

My reflection shows a face full of stress....
....worry....
...depression...
...irritable bowel syndrome...whatever the eff that is.......
...unknown wants....
...and needs.

My reflection shows alot of zits....
....random hairs that are showing up where they shouldn't....
....and wrinkles that show up more when I wear makeup to hide my zits.

My reflection needs to change.
I'm working on it.

Be back {very} soon.
hugsandsmooches

Old School Blogging

Confession.
I'm lacking blog-writing motivation, so when I saw this, I jumped right on it.
For all of you newbies, blogging used to be all light and fluffy. There wasn't much talk about deep, thought provoking, therapeutic nonsense like there is now.
That is probably why I am unable to put together a post lately. Because I have nothing deep to talk about.
I have a dog that eats his own poop, a tween who hates me a lot of the time and live in weather too cold to even step outside my house.
So, unless you want me to cry on your shoulder, its best I just stay quiet.......until now.

Here goes.....

What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Dexter. Actually, it is the only thing hubby and I have watched for the last few months and I know, for sure, that we will both need a very high dosage of happy pills when we are finished.

Lets talk about how awesome that show is.

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
This morning to take out the recycling.
My boogers froze in 0.3 seconds. It is mid March and it is -20 something (Celsius).

Hold me.
I need warmth.

What is on the walls of the room you are in?
There are two sconces, a TV and a couple pictures.
Oh yeah, I cant forget the boogers. This kid likes to wipe her boogers on the walls.

One day I will think it is funny, right?

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Oh, man. The things I could do with the money.  I would probably buy a lakefront home and a new (non-minivan) vehicle.   Travel.   Buy a lifetime supply of animal crackers and Blistex.
I'm a simple person.
I don't need much.

Tell me something about you that most people don’t know.
I think I can finish word search puzzles faster than anyone else in the Universe. Its a special, unique talent of mine, and one day, maybe there will be a contest. It would be awesome if the prize was a few million dollars so I could buy the stuff above.

Who made the last incoming call on your phone? My Mama

If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?
I would have our basement finished.
Then I would hire a landscaper to design beautiful gardens around the property.
Then I would have a pool installed.
And have someone  finish the window coverings throughout the house.
Another reason I need $$$$$$$$

What was the last thing you bought?
Groceries. Because my children are bottomless pits.................

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
I vomited a bit in my mouth just thinking about both of them. I cant even handle the merry go round and swing rides at theme parks.

(Thanks Google Images)

If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?
This is a tough one. I would like to talk to my boyfriend, John Mayer and ask him why he is such a douchebag to all of those pretty gals. I would like to talk to the Dexter guy and convince him to bring the show back to TV. I would also like to talk to the Breaking Bad dude to tell him I miss him.
I'm such a dork.

Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
 Gap. It would be even better if I was a size or two smaller..........

Is the glass half empty or half full?
Sadly, I admit I am a glass half empty kinda gal. This needs to change. Or I need to up my happy pills.

What’s the farthest-away place you’ve been?
Geesh....I'm awful at geography. I am in Ontario, Canada.
I have been to Jamaica, Cuba, Las Vegas, British Columbia. Which place is the farthest?
"Farthest" is a weird word, isn't it? Say it a few times..........

What’s under your bed?
Dust and dog hair.
Don't judge.

What is your favorite time of the day?
The moment the kids get on the school bus and I get to eat my breakfast in peace.

What Inspires You?
This is a deep question which means I am unable to answer it at this time. Come back to me when I am inspired to write about it.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Peace out.
Word to your Motha.

Crap I dont know how to do......

Believe it or not, there are many things that I don't know how to do.
I can admit it.
No one is perfect.
Even though I pretend I am totally "put together", I really am a messed up puzzle.

Whatever.

Lets pretend you're my therapist.
Except I am not paying you big bucks.
Lets pretend I am laying on your leather sofa, while you sit in your fancy shmancy chair with your pretty pen and notebook.

You: "OK, Vikki.  You're great at pretending that you are Superwoman and can do anything and everything.  You seem like you are all put together, but is there anything that you cannot do?"

Me: {ugly cry}
Me: {wiping boogers}
Me: {wiping tears}
Me:  "Are you saying I am not all put together?  Are you saying I am not Superwoman and that it is all just an act?"

You:  "Yes"

Me:  {gasp}
Me:  {deep breath}
Me:  "I don't know how to drive a standard transmission vehicle........

.....I don't know how to hula hoop......
....or french braid.

I don't know how to make gravy......
....and I suck at volleyball. 

I suck so bad at volleyball that I would lose sleep in high school before gym class because I knew we had to play and I couldn't serve the ball over the net.
{ugly cry}

I don't know how to do the Star Trek fingers......
....and I don't know how to pronounce the name Siobhan... and Saoirse.

I can remember song lyrics from 25 years ago, but cannot remember a person's name that I met 10 minutes ago.
I have never made a pie...
...or butter tarts...
...and don't think I will ever enjoy the taste of hot drinks.

I don't know how to sew...
...or knit...
...or crochet...
...or weave.

I don't know how to say no to chocolate...

...and my kids...
....and everyone else who needs me to do something.

I wish I knew how to erase wrinkles...
and gray hairs...
and dark circles...
and cellulite.

I don't know how to stop my dog from attacking corgis...

and cats...
and vacuums...
and brooms.

And I definitely don't know how to put myself first...
because I never have.
And I guess that's why I pretend to be all put together and crap.

You:  "I quit.  Find yourself a new therapist!"  

See more here.

Talking about myself. Its fun.

I was tagged by my southern BFF Elaine, to answer very personal questions about myself. I hmmmmed and haaa-ed about whether I should share such personal details about moi on this blog, but then I remembered I talk about poop soup.  

So, here goes.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nope. I am special, so I was given a unique name with an even more unique way of spelling it.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Today. I went to see my therapist and I swear, as soon as I walk through those doors, I do the ugly cry for the entire session.

I have issues.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes. It is a mixture of cursive and printing. A little bit bubbly but not so over the top bubbly that I dot my "i"s with a little heart.

That drives me bonkers.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Oven roasted turkey
Black forest ham
Macaroni and cheese loaf {yes, really}
Montreal Smoked Meat

I could go on........

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Kids or brats?
I have three.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Totally. And we would discuss poop soup and other gross bodily functions.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
You would have to ask those around me.....

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes! And I am very attached to them.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
If I was drunk......


10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Fruit Loops
Lucky Charms
Cheerios with peaches or bananas on top


11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Never.  I untie them when I have to put them back on and then curse at myself for not undoing them when I took them off in the first place.

Its a vicious cycle.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Aren't all women who birth babies and then live every moment for them after that???
Although, I do see a therapist and constantly do the ugly cry while with her, so, maybe not.......

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Heavenly hash. Partly because I just love saying heavenly and hash together.....

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Teeth
15. RED OR PINK?
Pink. It just makes me happy.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Oh God, where do I start?
Did I mention I see a therapist?
HAHAHAHAHAHA

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My Daddy....so much it hurts my heart.

18. WHAT IS THE TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?
Finding the motivation to get off of my ass.

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
They are a really comfy style called barefoot

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Ham, broccoli, potatoes and turnip. And it was frickin good.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
American Idol.
Dear American Idol Peeps.
I think it is time to lay this show to rest.
Love Me.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Green or orange because I like them.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
New babies. I often ask people if I can come over to hold and smell their baby?
Weird?

24. HOW IMPORTANT ARE YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS TO YOU?
Sadly, I don't get too involved.
I much prefer sharing my opinions about the Kardashians.

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
How about a mountain hideaway near a beach? Or a beach house near the mountains? How about alot of money so I can have both?

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Anything my kids play, which isn't very much because they have some weird fear about joining recreational activities, so lets just say hockey.

27. HAIR COLOR?
Brown with a mixture of caramel, red and gray.

Hmph.

28. EYE COLOR?
Brown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No. I would totally barf putting them in.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Chocolate.
Chocolate.
And more chocolate.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
I will hate the movie if there isn't a happy ending.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Ted.
It sucked.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Purple pj top.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
SUMMER!!! It has been -30 degrees Celsius here and I am ready to pack my bags and move to the Caribbean!!!

35. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Anything but pie or other mushy fruit stuff.

*gag

36. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
I hate cardio but I like burning tons of calories.
I hate strength training but I like getting toned.

Its an endless battle with my brain.

37. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
Candy Crush on my iPad please and thank you.

38. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Fifty Shades Freed.
I have been reading it since July and have about 10 pages to go.

Note to self. Read more.

39. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
No pads for me.

40. FAVORITE SOUND?
My children getting along and having a conversation without yelling and cursing at each other

41. FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC?
Anything the cool kids listen to.
My favourite song right now is this beauty.....


42. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
British Columbia
Cuba
Jamaica
Vegas
Florida

43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I'm double jointed in all of my joints.

True story.

44. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Toronto, Ontario Canada

45. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
30 minutes north of Toronto

46. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?
Oh crap, I don't know.
Tan/brown

47. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
I drive a silver minivan. Dont laugh.

48. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 48 QUESTIONS?
It was a blast except we didn't talk about poop or toots.



Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

7 Questions.....Answered by Moi

I am jumping on the fun, happening bandwagon and joining Gentri Lee today for her weekly Seven Questions party.
It looks fun and I want to fit in with the young, cool folk.
Because, in my head, I am totally not 37-ish. In my head, I am still rockin it at 22.
Is "rockin it" a cool term?
Whatever.


1. Bold or Understated?
Sadly, everything about me is understated. I don't have much colour in my wardrobe and my makeup routine consists of under eye concealer and Blistex. My hair is the same style it has been for 20 years...with a few grays added in. When in a crowd, I prefer to hide out in the corner. 
Sad, I know.
One day, maybe I will dress in these colours, have the confidence of a Kardashian and actually learn how to put on eye makeup.
But don't count on it.
Source
2. You have to survive alone in the wild and you only get to take one thing with you. Your choices are: A Pocket Knife, a Water Bottle, or a Book. Which do you choose and why?
Oh man.  This was a tough one. 
I choose a pocket knife because if a snake comes near me, I will have no choice but to chop it up.
I do not enjoy wild creatures that could possibly eat me.

3. Thirty Two Cows, Seven Eight Chickens, How Many Didn't?
Huh?

4. Would you rather die doing one legendary act of service or do small acts of kindness that may go unnoticed every day? Ummmm....I would totally do small acts of kindness, for two reasons.  One, because it makes me feel good.  Two, because I am understated and prefer to go unnoticed.

5. Happiness is _______. (one word; fill in the blank)
Chocolate. 
Specifically Kit Kat chocolate bars, but any chocolate will do thank you very much.

6. Can you laugh without smiling?
This is my attempt.
{Please ignore the zits and triple chins}

I know. That was probably the creepiest video you have ever seen.
I will have nightmares of myself doing that for the next month.

7. Do you pop your knuckles?
Not on purpose.
Should I?
Is that what the cool peeps do?

_______________________________________________________________________________________
If I was a good blogger and grand daughter in law I would have dedicated an entire post to this handsome fellas 96th birthday yesterday.
But, I suck.

96 years old.
Which means he has lived 35 years longer than my dear Daddy did.
We love him.
Cherish him.
And I am pretty sure he can laugh without smiling.


Also linking up with Alicia, because I like her.

Hi.Wassup.Whatsnew.

Watching my children experience joy...

...learning new things...
...learning from their mistakes and successes...
...becoming more independent while still needing Mommy's hand at times...
It is what I was put on this Earth to do.
And I am so thankful for every single second I have with my precious babies.

That is what I like to do at home....
and everywhere else.

Totally mushy, I know.
*gag*

Oh, yeah.....
I also like to eat...
...and sleep.
Boring. Maybe.
True. Yes.

I will tell you more about me when it isn't 1130pm.
Because I like to sleep, remember?

Nice to meet you. Come back. Hang out. Lets chit chat. And eat bon bons.

High School Sucked the Biggest Ball Sac Ever. The End.

Source: Etsy.com

Everyone has a story to tell.
I prefer to forget my high school story.
Like, if I could erase my high school life from my memory and the memory of everyone I was associated with during that time, I would in a second.

But I cant.
So I will talk about it and rehash that horrible time in my life, which means I will need my therapist to come to my house every day to coax me out of the corner.
While I shake.
And rock back and forth.
With my fist in my mouth.

But anyways.

Me in High School
1.  Wanting everyone to like me so I would do anything I could to gain acceptance....and friends.
2.  Skipping breakfast and lunch because I didn't want people to see me eat.
3.  Holding my tummy in as it growled for the afternoon because I didn't eat breakfast and lunch.
4.  Hanging out with anyone who would show me attention, even though I knew they were nothing like me.
5.  Hating myself at the end of the day because I was such a pushover.
6.  Wearing jeans with no pockets in the back because I thought my bum looked nicer.
7.  Wearing shiny, glossy pink lipstick because I thought it suited me.  I was so wrong.
8.  Hating math class.
9.  Hating English class.
10.Hating history class.
11.Hating every frickin class I took because I hated school and everything associated with it.
12.Never wearing sandals because I hated bare feet.
13.Friends with my soon to be husband who was nice to me and so much like me.  Unlike the other poopy people.
14.Crushing on my English teacher.15.Thinking I was fat.16.Eating my feelings.17.Talking on the phone until 4am.18.Thinking my parents were old and out of touch with the real world.19.Listening to music on my walkman.
20.Counting the days until it was all over.

Dear Therapist.  Please come soon.  I will be in the corner.  Love Momma

When I look in the mirror.....

I see wrinkles around my eyes....
I see dark circles under my eyes....
I see scattered gray hairs.....
and eyebrows that need to be plucked.

I see an imperfect woman.....
on the outside....
and inside....

I see a work in progress.

When I look in the mirror I see a mother....
my mother.....
I see a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister.
I see dimples...
and freckles....

I see an adult who is slowly finding herself....
her likes...
her dislikes....
her wants...
her needs.....

I see a work in progress.

When I look in the mirror I see a woman who has given 150% to others...
and 25% to herself.

I see a woman slowly realizing that there is more to life than being the skinniest...
the prettiest....
the smartest.

I see a woman who needs to enjoy life...
the little things....
the moments.

I see a smile...
I see smile lines....

I see someone who I am starting to like.

Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror???


Go see MamaKat for more......

I am sick....grumpy...and PMSing......

So look out. Stay clear. Avoid Momma if you know what is good for you. In the meantime I leave you with this. A post I wrote on my old blog last year.

100 (Useless) Things about Moi

1.I am Momma to three kids
2.I said I would never have three kids
3.I thought people that had more than 2 were insane
4.I said I would have a boy and a girl
5.I thought *I* could decide the sex of my children
6.wrong I was
7.I live on a farm
8.I thought I would never live on a farm
9.because I am not your typical "farm girl"
10.I don't like bugs
11.wildlife
12.farm "smells"
13.my boys are obsessed with farm equipment
14.funny how life goes huh?
15.I am tired
16.Momma hasnt slept a full night in 9 months
17.Momma doesnt think she will ever sleep a full night again
18.I have 1 brother
19.I am 5 years older
20.he lives in the big city. I live in the country
21.I am a Taurus
22.I live up to the stubborn reputation of a Taurus
23.my hubby is also a Taurus
24.he also lives up to the reputation of a Taurus
25.I am a scrapbooker
26.it is an addiction of mine
27.I am not addicted to anything else
28.well maybe Creamy Dill Pickle potato chips......
29.and gossip magazines......
30.and shoes
31.I always said my boys would never play with gun toys/anything that resembled a gun
32.my boys like guns
33.they make guns out of anything they can
34.I have learned when to pick my battles
35.I always said my boys would not be rough and hurt eachother
36.now I watch as they wrestle in front of me
37.I have a dog named Studley
38.that isnt his real name...just his blog name
39.he is almost 9
40.he is not the smartest animal but I love him
41.I cant imagine our house without him
42.I am making a Studley photo album
43.told you I am addicted
44.I said I would never drive a minivan
45.I drive one
46.it is silver
47.I admit I listen to 80's music in my minivan......alot
48.my husband listens to bluegrass music
49.*gag* *barf*
50.we dont drive in the same vehicle often
51.I met my hubby when we were in grade 3
52.that was over 25 years ago
53.I am old
54.I said I would never let my kids go to school on a school bus
55.they go on a school bus
56.hearing my baby girl cry at 3am sometimes makes me wanna cry
57.have I mentioned I am tired?
58.I am addicted to the show Intervention
59.I often wonder how someone can get into such a funk
60.I often think about the girl who inhaled aerosol computer keyboard cleaner.
61.I didnt even know that was possible.
62.I am excited to get our new window coverings
63.right now we dont have any
64.we have 2 doors and 2 huge windows in our bedroom
65.not fun at 6am
66.I have alot of texture issues with food
67.I do not drink hot drinks-not even hot chocolate
68.I do not like mushy fruit-pie is just wrong. yuck.
69.my favourite place in the world is my grandparents farm
70.even though I am not a farm girl
71.maybe I am
72.maybe I should be listening to bluegrass music
73.no way
74.I dont enjoy getting older
75.I really dont enjoy seeing my loved ones get older
76.I dont want my kids to grow up
77.well maybe to 10 so they are in school everyday
78.then I can garden
79.and bake
80.and scrapbook
81.I grind my teeth
82.I grinded them so much that I have to wear a bite plate at night
83.hubby still loves me
84.I am typing with one hand
85.I only use my index and middle finger when I type
86.I dont have many talents
87.dont play any instruments
88.I am double jointed in most of my joints
89.I yell alot
90.I also do the silent treatment when angry
91.I need to work on that
92.I am back on my happy pills
93.they havent kicked in yet
94.I hope they do soon
95.sometimes I wonder where my life went
96.then I look at my kids
97.they are my life
98.one day I will put myself first again
99.I really need to work on that
100.another day