Gum.

Chewed gum.Thrown on the floor.
And left there for the Magic Cleaning Fairy to pick up.
Chewed gum thrown underneath beds and forgotten about.
Until Mom looks for dirty socks.

Apparently my children think they run this home.

And have it pretty easy.

So help me think of a creative way to let them know that this is not acceptable......

other than yelling....having grown up sit down talks about why this isnt ok and taking the gum away.

Because that doesnt work and they end up throwing garbage from other food on the floor.

And then it is an entire new battle.

And Momma is tired.

And fed up.

And is thinking of sending them out to live in the barn.

a Riddle. kinda

What do you get when an almost 8 year old boy takes a very rough turbulent plane ride and then hops in a vehicle for a few hours?

Oh yeah. And he had McDonalds in the vehicle for lunch.

You get alot of vomit.
In the vehicle.
On the seat.

On the almost 8 year old boy.

You also get a stench so bad that it makes you gag and almost vomit all over yourself.

And this.

A vehicle pulled off to the side of a major highway.
Luggage laying on the ground.

The best guy in the world cleaning up the vomit with a crib sheet while middle child observes (and laughs).
And the mom staying far away (while gagging) and taking pictures.

That's what you get.

*Click here to see more WW posts. I can't get her button to work but she changed everything and it looks neat so you must check it out.

Greetings from a Friend

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

This is our door.

We use it 99.9% of the time.
In and out. In and out.
All day, every day.
As Mr. Momma casually walked up to the door to come in and tell me how much he loves me, he was greeted by a friend.

I now have nightmares that this "friend" found his way into our house and is waiting for the perfect moment to bite me on the bum as I sit on the toilet.

I am considering moving.
Hold me.

"Eww" is an understatement.

I am not a fan of reptiles.

Snakes, lizards and even frogs/toads.

Place one near me and I may just scream like a 5 year old girl and run away.

Really.

One problem.

I have two boys.

Two boys who love creepy crawly disgusting creatures.

And they think it is very funny to bring these creatures to their mother for Show and Tell.

I think they just like to see me scream.

Rowdy and Studley (the dog) found this lil' creature in our barn. Lovely isn't he?

Rowdy then instructed me to take a picture.

So I did.

And I didn't even scream.

Until I went back in the house.

3 Things You Will Love to Know About Me.

I have to admit that this was a tough one to think up because you know pretty much everything about me. Well, everything you need to know.

You know that I love chocolate. And Blistex. And gossip magazines.

You know that I eat banana on my eggs. Take alot of pictures. And love shoes.

You know that I have dry feet. Hate bluegrass music. And wanted to be Laura Ingalls.

What else is there to know? Like really?

Momma's life is like an open book. I keep nothing from you.

Except these three things. And now I share them on this special day. Sit down while I let you in on a few more things about moi that you dont already know.

Here goes.

*deep breath*

I am an avid scrapbooker. By avid, I mean addicted. And by scrapbooker I mean "album maker". I am not one to spend 30 minutes on one page with one picture but I have every single picture since 2004 in an album...in order.....with journalling to go with it and some pretty paper to decorate the page simply.

"Simple" is how I describe my albums. If my pics are in order, in an album I am happy. I dont have to sit beside everyone looking and explaining who is in the pictures, where it is and what was happening because it is all written down.

70 years from now when I am hanging out with Michael Jackson, my grandchildren can look at my albums and know exactly what happened in 2004.

That makes me happy.

Yes. I am crazy. No I do not have OCD.

Family albums for every year, baby albums, school albums, gift albums I have done for others, digital albums. You name it, I have done it.

Don't ask how much I have spent on supplies because that might make me stop and just throw my pictures in a shoebox.

I enjoy colouring.

Yep. Uh huh. You read that right.

I find it relaxing and somewhat therapeutic.

I feel a sense of accomplishment when my picture is finished and looks pretty frickin awesome.

I know.

I need to get myself a life.

And last but certainly not least, I dislike long toenails.

Eww.

I throw up in my mouth a little bit every time I see people with feet like this.

My apologies if you have feet like this.

Whatever floats your boat.

I dont judge. But just dont play footsies with me k?

>

Creepy Crawlers

Being a mom to two very "boyish" boys has taught me alot.

I need to have a powerful washing machine.
I need to know many facts about tractors and any large machines.
I need to invest in Hanes because we go through so many pairs of socks.
Always have ketchup in the house.
And maple syrup.
Purchase a pair of rubber boots.

I have also had to get over my fear of creepy crawlies.

I do not enjoy creepy crawlies.

Nope. Not one bit.

But my boys do.

Worms.
Caterpillars.
Frogs.

We have had one of each for a pet recently.

They brought them in my home. *gasp*

I am still recuperating.....and cleaning.

Do your kids enjoy creepy crawlies?
Do they bring them home as pets?
Do you allow it?



Click on the button to answer more questions. I am sure many are much more interesting than mine!

Not Me! Monday!

Hello new week.

Goodbye old week. See ya later.

It was a great week. Things went smoothly. Nothing terrible happened. Everything was just hunky-dory.

Soooo..........

Rowdy has not spent every night this past week crying at bedtime because he cant sleep.

He certainly does not blame God for making him a boy that cant sleep. And he does not blame God for making him toot and burp......and drink enough Sunny D to turn his skin orange.

This is not Rowdy (with Doritos on his mouth) making a sad face because he is mad at God.

We did not have toilet issues this week.

The toilet did not overflow.
Our basement floor did not get wet from our septic pipes leaking. Ewww

And we most certainly did not have to call a plumber.
If by chance we did have a plumber come by our house for a quick visit, he definitely did not spend an hour and a half taking our bathroom apart before checking our septic tank.
Butttttt......if he did check our septic tank he did not tell us that it was an emergency and we needed our tank pumped immediately because that would be silly.
Silliness, I tell you.
I did not call our neighbour who happens to own a poop-pumping truck company to come immediately to pump our poop tank.
Our poop pumper neighbour did not tell us that our tank did not need to be pumped for another 8 months and that the only problem was a clogged pipe that just needed to be loosened.

Ewww......

Because that would mean that the plumber did not need to rip apart my bathroom.

And charge me $150 for nothing.

Ummm....yeah. Silly right??

I think so.

Actually I think it would be enough to make me angry.

Next topic.

My 7 year old son has not decided to take showers regularly. Without me asking 22 times.

But if he did shower regularly he definitely.....absolutely would not have a "manly" routine to complete after each shower.

I mean, he is 7. So he does not put on deodorant and cologne. Geesh.

And Studley, he did not run away for the 18 billionth time. Because if he did that would mean that someone would find him....and call me. And that would also mean I would go get him and be happy to see him.

I wasnt.

Nope. Not me.

And just in case you are wondering.....

I do not drink {as much as I should}.

I do not have {many} wrinkles.

And I am {not} under stress.

My life is stress-free.

You believe me right???

Happy Monday y'all!

Not me Monday!

Another Monday? How is time going by so fast? Only 4 more weeks until the kidlets are out of school for over 2 months.

I am not upset that I will have three kids at home. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for approximately 10 weeks. It will not be a problem finding things to keep them busy. And keep myself sane? No problem.

Ha. Would it be wrong for me to run away for a few months and come home on the first day of school? And my sanity left me years ago......

I am not bummed that I will be known as "Referee" for two months. I am not stressed out about having two strong-willed, spirited violent boys at home, together all of the time.

Fun times.


I did not take a picture of my boys playing together nicely so I have it as a reminder that it is possible for them to get along for more than 3 minutes. Any other mother would think that their children are angels no matter what behaviour they display.

Middle child did not argue with me about whether or not he is in Junior Kindergarten or Senior Kindergarten. He did not say in these words "Mom, you don't know what you're talking about" when I told him that he is in JK. After 5 minutes of trying to explain it to him and being yelled at, I did not give in. I did not say "Fine, you're in SK" just so the argument would be over.

I do not think there is a small possibility that middle child will be in politics when he gets older. And I most definitely don't think that all other politicians will be terrified of him!

I did not buy heels for an upcoming wedding. And if by chance, I did buy pretty brown high heel/wedge shoes I did not fall over on my ankle while wearing them around the house.

I did not throw them and call them bad names as I sat on the floor nursing my sore ankle.

A few of my children do not say "That is so sick" when they think something is cool. And if they did, I would not break out in the giggles because it is the funniest thing I have ever heard.

I never said "That is totally rad" when I was young(er) and thought something was cool. Honest. Because that would be like so uncool. Dude.

I am not grossed out by dirty fingernails. They do not give me the heebie jeebies. I mean, it is just dirt...and bug guts.....and who knows what else.

I am not totally disgusted when my kids have dirty fingernails and I catch them with their fingers up their nose.

My kids do not pick their nose. They also do not wrestle, yell, use bad language, pee on the toilet seat, and call me "Mean Mom".

When they are sleeping.

Happy Monday!

Aloha Friday-Just between you and me-

I am about to share something that doesnt get talked about very often.

Consider yourself to be on my "in list" because I dont talk about this to just anyone.

Unless you are my hubby. My mother. Or my pedicurist.

Is pedicurist a word? If not, I have dibs on it so dont pretend that you invented it or I will hunt you down and stick my feet in your face.

Anyways, I want to talk about feet.

I do not like feet. They are funny looking and kinda creep me out. They can be stinky. They can be dirty. They can be just plain old ugly.

Unless they are baby feet. That is completely different.

I digress.........

I have feet issues. Genetics has blessed me with dry feet. And other things like cellulite but that is another post for another day. I do not enjoy dry feet one bit. Frankly, it sucks big time and as I get older I am sure it will just get worse.

I have tried everything. Lubing them with petroleum jelly and wrapping them in plastic wrap. Using every "dry foot cream" on the market to find out that they were a complete waste of money. Soaking my feet in an expensive foot bath that even vibrates. Nice, but didnt work.

My solution at the moment is getting a pedicure every 3 weeks. It is a tough solution but seems to be doing the job. Every three weeks I have two hours to myself at a spa and have someone soak, scrape and pretty up my feet.

I know, I know. You feel sorry for me. It is a really hard treatment but I feel it is necessary to cure the painful cracked skin I have been suffering from.

While getting my feet worked over, I get told that there really is nothing I can do to cure my dry feet/cracking till they bleed syndrome. I get told to use some foot salve and scrape my feet every night before bed.

I get told to wear socks. Then I let her know for the 20 millionth time that I do not wear socks. I do not like socks. It is warm weather season and socks do not exist in my wardrobe. She tells me to wear them to bed. I say no.

Same thing, every time.

Then she tells me to wear slippers.

So I do.

And I have been for the last 10 years.

It doesnt work either.

But I still wear slippers.

Do you have a dry feet cure?

Do you wear slippers?

What do they look like?

Are slippers dorky?

Aloha Friday is hosted by this wonderful gal. Click on the button to check out other questions...which are probably much more interesting than mine!

Observations at the Blood Lab

• showing up early is a stupid idea because everyone else in the friggin community does the same thing
• "lab ladies" need to take a course in being friendly. Many people do not enjoy having blood taken, so the least they can do is be personable while stabbing your vein.
• sitting in a small waiting room with about 78 other people is not enjoyable
• sitting in a small waiting room between 2 very large women is really not enjoyable
• all men use Blackberrys
• all of the time
• I think they may have a problem
• the first thing I look at are people's feet. I don't know why because I do not enjoy feet but I couldn't help myself.
• more women need to go for pedicures
• offices that make you wait an hour to have blood taken need to go through the effort of providing better reading material. Reading a fashion magazine from 2004 is not interesting and kinda out of date.
• even I know that
• listening to elevator music while waiting for an hour is enough to make me want to scream
• I thought about pretending to faint so they would get me in sooner.
• I also thought about singing and dancing to Barry Manilow right there in the middle of my two large lady friends
• older couples that hold hands are cute
• men who fall asleep and snore while waiting annoy me.
• men who fall asleep and wake up when they start to drool make me want to vomit
• people who have to provide a urine sample need to be more discreet. I don't want to see their pee in a bottle, thank you very much
• or their stool sample *gag*
• I do not enjoy this place. At all.

And how was your day????????